Why does my life have to be a constant watch?
Drives me insane
Can’t even read, listen, think, write,
Without a warrant.
Have to be on the constant lookout,
Scared afraid that I can’t even write how I feel.
No freedom.
Stuck here in this prison,
Rules and endless regulations.
No escape. No escape.
Anger rising
Anger rising, growing, bubbling up in me.
Cry out scream
Scream
I can’t scream
I can’t shout
I can’t do anything
Without a constant watch, be on the lookout,
Are the watching me?
Why can’t I live my life
Why is it I can’t be me
Oh how I relish the day
I turn 18
For it shall be
Freedom for me
یا is it? You’ll still be watching
Checking, guarding my life
Because آپ have the key
Protecting? Is it that you’re protecting me?
From what I will force
Reality
But these four solid walls, آپ built
It surrounds me,
Trapping, suffocating, scaring
The HELL out of me,
‘Cause there’s eyes watching,
Someone’s always watching, they’re
Watching
Watching
And there it is again
That never ending
Anger
No, fury
No, hatred
But it just
reverts back to
extreme anger
building, growing
mutating مزید and
مزید and more
more
I push it down
Tell myself it’s okay
I’ll make it
I can make it
I always make it
Through another day
How long
How long will it last
Till this shell finally cracks
Room full of gas
Slowly expanding
Growing
Slowly
Bit
By
Bit, it’s growing slowly
One spark, one tiny flame
Then it all explodes
Into oblivion
Into chaos
Into tragedy
Into emptiness
I know they’re watching
Watching
Watching
Listening
I hope they’re reading.