Princess مٹر, مصری چنا stood in the wedding gazebo اگلے to Prince Bartholomew, with all eyes on her. She knew that everyone was waiting on her to say "I do" and make the union official. Come on, Pea, she thought to herself...Two simple words and everything goes back to the way it was. You've been dreaming all your life of marrying a handsome prince and living happily ever after in a beautiful castle. Now all آپ have to do is say the word and it's yours. آپ can have what آپ envied from all the other girls you've met. You'll be blissful and merry like that flat-chested princess with the high pitched voice آپ met in the woods weeks ago. You'll feel accomplished and proud like that crossdressing Chinese chick آپ met. You'll have a man of your own like Jasmine, Cinderella, Ariel and Tiana. آپ won't end up in a tragedy like Pocahontas did. Maybe you'll even learn to love Bartholomew, the way Belle learned to love the Beast...
    "Pea," whispered Prince Bartholomew, interrupting her train of thought. "Hurry up, you're embarrassing me."
    "Oh," Pea's mind was elsewhere. "I..."
    The crowd stared at the princess anxiously.
    "I need a drink of water," مٹر, مصری چنا said. A butler immediately scurried towards her.
    "Your highness, it'll be a few moments before we can get آپ some water. Right now all we have is the traditional celebratory champagne," he کہا in a British accent.
    "Great, that'll do the trick," مٹر, مصری چنا popped open the bottle and poured it into a glass. She finished the glass in three سیکنڈ flat. The crowd was bewildered سے طرف کی her lack of etiquette and watched in shock as the princess chucked the glass on the ground casually.
    "What are آپ doing?" asked Prince Bartholomew. مٹر, مصری چنا gazed into the audience and saw her mother, Queen Annalynne, looking furiously at her.
    "Let's try this again, shall we?" asked the priest. "Princess Peanalita, do آپ take Prince Bartholomew to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
    Pea didn't waste another moment. "I can't," she replied. Everyone gasped.
    "What do آپ mean, آپ can't?" asked the prince through clenched teeth.
    "Would آپ like me to find آپ a dictionary?" مٹر, مصری چنا rolled her eyes. "Or are your reading skills just as bad as your comprehension skills?"
    "How dare you!" Bartholomew slapped مٹر, مصری چنا across the face. "Princesses must be respectful and worshipping towards their princes!"
    "Apologize at once, Peanalita!" Annalynne stood up from her seat.
    "Apologize?" مٹر, مصری چنا was astounded. "Are آپ crazy? He just slapped me!"
    "Yes, I did!" Bartholomew yelled. "Women who are disrespectful to their superiors get punished!"
    "Then I suppose the same goes for men," مٹر, مصری چنا answered. With that, she punched the arrogant jerk in the face. "You know, I was gonna try and let آپ down easy but now that I see what a big, hairy dick آپ are, I'm happy to dump your sorry ass. In fact, why don't I just tell everyone here the truth? I'm in love with someone else! And even though he doesn't love me anymore, I'm not gonna marry some rich snob just so I can have a few nice dresses...okay a thousand really gorgeous dresses with hand-stiched satin bows and the finest fabric from Europe...but آپ get my point." Princess مٹر, مصری چنا left Prince Bartholomew, who was on the ground tending his bloody nose. As she began to hurry down the aisle towards the exit, Annalynne stopped her.
    "Peanalita, what do آپ think you're doing?" Queen Annalynne scolded. "You're giving up everything آپ ever wanted! And for what? Conrad doesn't even love you!"
    "So?" مٹر, مصری چنا asked. "The last time I checked the solution to getting your دل broken wasn't marry some random dude with a fat wallet. If I go through with this marriage, I'll end up like you..."
    "And what's wrong with that?" Annalynne was offended. "I'm beautiful, powerful, and rich. What could possibly be مزید satisfying?"
    "Yes, but you're also stuck-up, selfish, bitter, cruel, and disliked سے طرف کی practically everyone." مٹر, مصری چنا responded. "You know, before I got banished, I was on my way to becoming just like you, یا even worse. But the دن I left the قلعہ was the دن I realized I wanted all the wrong things in life. The reason I was such a کتیا, کتيا was because I wasn't really happy. And once again, I don't know where I'm headed, but I know that I have a better chance of finding happiness in the middle of nowhere than in some stuffy castle."
    "Why, آپ ungrateful little brat!" yelled Annalynne. "I've دیا آپ everything آپ could ever want in life and this is how آپ thank me? I was a loving mother to you!"
    "No! When the rest of our kingdom wanted me gone, آپ exiled me immediately to save your own reputation!" مٹر, مصری چنا kept walking. "Face it, Mother, آپ only love me when I have something that will benefit you. Like this marriage, don't think I believed for one سیکنڈ that آپ actually give a rat's پچھواڑے, گدا whether یا not I'm happy."
    "Where are آپ going, آپ silly girl?" Annalynne called after her. "You have nothing without me! Even that filthy peasant boyfriend of yours کہا آپ don't have a brain beneath that pretty face!"
    "Well, I...hey,wait a second..." Something occured to Princess Pea. When Annalynne had دیا her the letter in which Conrad broke up with her, it was in an envelope, unopened. And after مٹر, مصری چنا read it to herself, she'd crumpled it up and thrown it away. So how on Earth could her mother possibly know in detail what Conrad کہا to her in the note? "YOU!" مٹر, مصری چنا stormed back over towards her mother. "You wrote that letter, didn't you?"
    "What? I did no such thing!"
    "Mother, that line didn't work when آپ tried to deny the botox and it ain't working now," replied Pea.
    "I only did it to protect you," Annalynne tried to seem compassionate. "I knew آپ would be making a mistake to stay with that boy. So I did what was necessary for your own well-being."
    "Wrong again, آپ did it to trick me into thinking that I should marry Bartholomew!" مٹر, مصری چنا cried. "How could آپ be so selfish? That's low even for you...breaking your daughter's دل and preventing her from being with her true love so that آپ can get مزید money!"
    "What are آپ going to do about it? Slap me like آپ did the prince?" Annalynne asked. "You're still the weak little girl you've always been."
    "No, I have a punch-no-more-than-one-person-a-day rule. However, I haven't done this yet." مٹر, مصری چنا ripped off a large chunk of her wedding cake and threw it onto Annalynne.
    "Later, Mommy Dearest. And don't bother trying to find me with that tracking device, I'm finally over the whole tiara trend." مٹر, مصری چنا skipped out of the back gates of the castle, off to find Conrad and set things right.
    Princess مٹر, مصری چنا hurried outside the palace gates into the village. She ran along the cobblestone streets hoping to find some mode of tranportation. I've got to get back to Beast's castle, maybe Conrad is still there, مٹر, مصری چنا thought hopefully to herself. Suddenly, she noticed a large carriage with a driver that practically had "stupid" written on his forehead.
    "Yo, dude!" مٹر, مصری چنا yelled at him. "There's a hundred bucks taped to the back of your carriage." As the کوچوان stepped out to check the back, مٹر, مصری چنا hopped into the driver's نشست and yelled. "Sorry, but this is an emergency!" She rode off on the carriage. A few hours passed and مٹر, مصری چنا finally found the castle. The Beast's قلعہ looked as though it had been on Extreme Makeover: ہوم Edition. It was no longer dark and gloomy but instead bright and beautiful. مٹر, مصری چنا hurried inside...
    "Belle!" مٹر, مصری چنا cried out.
    "Pea!" Belle hugged the princess. "We were worried, آپ just vanished so suddenly without saying goodbye! So much has happened since آپ left. Beast has transformed into a human! In fact, his real name is Prince Adam. آپ see, as it turns out, he and all of the people who lived in this قلعہ were under a spell that could only be broken if-"
    "Belle, honey, I don't wanna be rude but I really don't give a flying fuck right now! I'm in the middle of a crisis!" مٹر, مصری چنا interrupted. "Where's Conrad?"
    "He left right after آپ disappeared," Belle replied. "He seemed depressed about آپ leaving without notice."
    "Damn it, how will I ever find him now?"
    "Well," Belle thought for a moment. "When Gaston invaded the قلعہ to attack Adam, he had the magic mirror...but he didn't have it when he went upstairs to find Adam...so...he must have left it around...here it is!"
    "I know I'm gorgeous but how exactly is a mirror gonna help me?" مٹر, مصری چنا asked, as Belle handed her the mirror.
    "It's enchanted, it will دکھائیں آپ anything آپ wish to see," Belle answered. "Best of luck, Pea! I have to get changed, Adam and I are marrying this afternoon!" She hurried upstairs.
    Princess مٹر, مصری چنا spoke to the mirror. "I wish to see Conrad." The mirror shone brightly and then showed Conrad. He seemed to be in a قلعہ of some sort. مٹر, مصری چنا recognized it after a moment of brief confusion. "Hey, I've been to the قلعہ before...years ago...when I was a little girl...We visited it one Christmas...Of course! That's King Stefan's castle! What the heck is Conrad doing there? I've got to get to him!"
    Pea ran outside of the قلعہ as night began to fall. She hopped back into the driving نشست of the carriage and ordered the horses to take her to King Stefan's kingdom. Hours rolled by. مٹر, مصری چنا was cold, mierable and utterly convinced that the horses had no idea where they were going. Just as she was about to lose all hope, she realized they'd reached a forest. She jumped off of the carriage and ran through the woods. She saw the قلعہ in the distance. The moon shone brightly. مٹر, مصری چنا ran as fast as her feet could carry her towards the castle. Everbody in the entire kingdom seemed to be asleep which مٹر, مصری چنا found rather peculiar. She hurried through the قلعہ doors and found her way up a tower. She walked into a room where a beautiful girl was sleeping in a bed. The girl had long golden curls and wore a blue dress. She had a rose carefully tucked beneath her hands.
    "Where is Conrad?" مٹر, مصری چنا wondered aloud. Suddenly, she heard voices approaching.
    "Congratulations, Phillip! You've defeated Maleficent!" کہا one voice.
    "Now آپ must awaken Rose with true love's kiss," added another.
    Just then, a handsome prince and three plump little fairies came into the room.
    "Who are you?" asked the prince.
    "I'm depressed," مٹر, مصری چنا cried. "My one true love was supposed to be in this قلعہ and I can't find him anywhere."
    "Well, there's my one true love," he pointed at the sleeping girl. He stepped towards her and leaned in for a kiss.
    "Isn't that like تاریخ rape یا something?" مٹر, مصری چنا asked as she wiped a tear off her cheek.
    The girl's eyes opened and she smiled up at her prince.
    "Oh, there's so much to explain!" کہا the fairy in blue while clapping excitedly. She flew over to the girl, who was getting out of the bed. "Rose, the boy آپ met in the woods just so happens to be Prince Phillip! The one you're betrothed to! So even though آپ have to marry a prince, it turns out the prince is the boy آپ wanted to marry all along! Isn't that wonderful?"
    "Yes," replied the girl. "But what am I doing lying in a bed? The last thing I remember, آپ three brought me to the قلعہ and I heard an eerie voice calling my name."
    "Should we tell her?" the fairy in green asked the fairies in blue and red.
    "Nah," they all agreed. "Aurora, all that matters is that آپ two are together at last." Aurora and Phillip hugged.
    "You two are lucky, man," مٹر, مصری چنا spoke up. "Never take each other for granted. Because sometimes آپ lose the person آپ love before آپ get to tell them how آپ feel." She continued to cry.
    "You poor darling!" کہا Aurora sympathetically. She hugged Pea. "I'm sure things will work out for آپ somehow."
    "Now that I think of it...Fauna, Merryweather, we did meet a handsome young man earlier today, didn't we?" asked the fairy in red.
    "Yes, Flora, you're right!" answered Fauna. "He کہا his name was Conrad."
    "That's him!" Pea's دل filled with hope. "Oh, where did he say he was going?"
    "Well," کہا Merryweather. "He told us that he had lost his one true love and felt like dying. We tried to make him feel better but nothing helped. We asked him if he'd mind watching over Aurora while we put the rest of the kingdom to sleep. He agreed politely...but if he's not here...there's a chance he...oh dear, there's a chance he might have run in to...Maleficent."
    "Who's Maleficent?" asked Pea.
    "The mistress of all evil," answered Merryweather. "We must pray Conrad didn't پار, صلیب paths with her...she's incredibly devious. She kills innocent people for the joy of it."
    "You mean to say if Conrad went to the tower and Maleficent was there, he's probably...dead?" مٹر, مصری چنا was horrified.
    "Well, there's only one way to find out," کہا Flora. "Aurora, Phillip, آپ two must prepare for the ceremony."
    "Good luck," Aurora waved goodbye to مٹر, مصری چنا as she and Phillip headed down the tower stairs, hand in hand.
    "You, my dear, come with us," Flora told Pea. With a wave of their wands, the three fairies carried مٹر, مصری چنا throughout the castle. They searched everywhere, soaring through the sky. Princess مٹر, مصری چنا looked below them to see a balcony with Conrad lying on it.
    "NOOOOOO!" cried Pea. The fairies sadly descended her onto the balcony. "Why is he lying there? Why would Maleficent just take his life away?"
    "I'm so sorry, dear," Fauna was crying. "That's just how Maleficent's always been. She was heartless."
    Rain began to pour down on the balcony. مٹر, مصری چنا lay on سب, سب سے اوپر of Conrad's lifeless body. She wished مزید than anything she could turn back time. "Conrad, wake up," مٹر, مصری چنا cried. "I don't know what my mother told آپ but it was a lie...please don't leave me like this...I'm alone in this world without you...wake up...I know I کہا I wanted a prince but I finally see that you are my prince, آپ always have been...PLEASE..."
    Pea sobbed, her tears landing uncontrollably as the rain poured down on her. "It's too late, آپ can't leave me, I'm already in love with you!" She lay her head on his breathless chest.
    "There is, however, one remedy to Maleficent's spinning wheel curse," Flora realized. "The kiss of true love."
    Pea turned back to Conrad's body and lifted his head up carefully. She gently kissed his soft lips. After a moment of thinking that Conrad would never come back to her, his eyes opened. He smiled up at Pea.
    "Pea? W-What are آپ doing here? I thought آپ were in love with Prince Bartholomew..." he said, his voice soft and weak.
    "Two words," مٹر, مصری چنا smiled down at him, half laughing, half crying. "Bullshit."
    Conrad grinned and picked himself up off the ground. He lifted مٹر, مصری چنا into the air and spun her around. They kissed again.
     The three fairies cheered gleefully. Princess مٹر, مصری چنا had found her prince at last. Even though he wasn't technically a prince, he was the prince for her.
    The اگلے afternoon, Princess مٹر, مصری چنا and Conrad married in the forest. Snow White, Mulan, Jasmine, Cinderella, Ariel, Tiana, Pocahontas, Belle, and Aurora were all present. From that دن forward, Peanalita and Conrad spent their days together, madly in love.
    Although they bickered occasionally, it was always led to sizzling hot make-up sex. Princess مٹر, مصری چنا had learned so many things over the course of her journey. She'd learned that true happiness can't be bought. She'd learned that princes can be مزید trouble than they're worth. Speaking of princes, after being abandoned at the altar, Bartholomew gave up on marriage and opened his own tattoo parlor...things are going great for him, if آپ exclude the fact he's being sued سے طرف کی Captain Hook for using an infected needle. مٹر, مصری چنا had also learned that there was a lot مزید to herself than a pretty face, great hair, and expensive clothes. Speaking of clothes and great hair, Queen Annalynne was soon exiled from her own kingdom and now spends her days selling her designer clothes for food on a سٹریٹ, گلی corner in Agrabah. Pea, however, was living blissfully with her man. مٹر, مصری چنا apologized to her father-in-law Leopold, who used to be her royal assistant, for all the years of hell she'd put him through. She sold all of her tiaras and used the money to build a fun boarding school for underprivileged little girls. She'd also learned that sometimes getting exiled from your own shallow life is just what آپ need to see the world مزید clearly. Princess مٹر, مصری چنا now lived in a medium-sized cottage in the forest with her non-royal husband. She opened a clothing دکان in the comfort of her own home. They eventually went through the trials and tribulations of raising two daughters. Not exactly the happily ever after مٹر, مصری چنا had always imagined. In fact, in spite of losing a fortune, she had gained everything that truly matters. And مٹر, مصری چنا had never been happier.
    "And not to be rude, but I'm like so sure that my happily ever after is way better than yours!" مٹر, مصری چنا grinned.