T-T wow what an attention seeking مضمون name it basically screams out: "READ ME cuz it has the word secret in the name"... also its written in my diary T-T

Well yeah, the reason I had chose that name is because honestly I didn't know what to name the مضمون *shrugs* I decided to write out my feelings... but why post it? Well, because I want other's opinions and just the fact that once somethings on the web it doesn't feel so lonely anymore, the main problem is once someone see's it, آپ can't really take it back anymore :/
I might regret posting this, ssh shut up wolfcat, you're gunna talk yourself into not posting it. *my inner me starts beating up my outer me, and my brain fights along, not sure if its stupid یا smart X3*
I mean like, if I don't want people to see it why do I post it O-O good question, time to have a دل to دل talk with myself about figuring out whats wrong with me.

here goes *holds thumb that no one reads this*:
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Diary Page of A. C. Terblanche (wolfcat343) 25 June 2014
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I've kept آپ a secret so long,
I've hidden away from you(not the person the feeling), because I know if anyone else knows. me= dead person
I kept telling myself. "Its just a phase, its not real"
and then مزید recently a friend sort of caught me off guard speaking things out loud and figuring out my secret.
My secret is that I like 'you' (random anonymous person NOOOOONE needs to know, not even my best friends, sorry guys :/ ) and I knew it all along
I type, but shiver, always thrilled at your reply.
Sometimes I cry so much feeling such hurt and lies
and all those desperate cries of people living their painful lives.
Your words اتتھان, ترقی کیلئے باہم کوشاں me, every one of them, just seems to gleem off the screen, yeah I'm blushing like a freaky radiant beam.
If I look at you, its not through any outer appearance
but I see a beautiful yet such a broken دل that needs some patches.
If it were for the medical care, I wish I could be there to heal your emotional and physical wounds.
Theres so many I don't know where to begin, but I'll be here for you.
Everyday that goes by, I'd sit looking up at the sky, یا sitting hugging my تکیا tight that it'd burst wishing I could confess
but I can't مزید یا less
yeah I'm just a mess

I'm not afraid of being judged anymore
The only problem would be
if I confess...
would I lose something یا gain something

if I could, I'd tell آپ how much I loved you, but thats just stupid, I'm too afraid I'd lose you.

I plugged in my keyboard and started playing this one specific song, I couldn't stop, until my mom came in wondering why I only play this song over and over.
and man I don't know, maybe its because thats how I feel.
I'm not going to say much anymore, this is all to real
and I'll just spend this night, thinking in my head how to stop myself from my stupid mistake.

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eyup so thats what I wrote
bored out of my mind, I have alot مزید to this secret, but I keep my diary so limited in fear that someone would find it, I know my one friend likes to battle me to read it, and then this one time she shoved my off the سوفی, لٹانا and read it aloud to a couple of other friends, so eyup, I try my best to not make me get in trouble.