Chapter two

March 15 1995,

Dad came into my room and کہا “happy birthday baby!!!” Today I turn a سال old. He took me to the living room and there was new toys scattered all over the place. He کہا “I got آپ a bubble machine!!!” Nanny Grace turned it on and started to pop all of the bubbles. He کہا “I knew آپ would love that!!!”

Then I noticed there was a cake on the coffee میز, جدول and stood up so I could reach it. Nanny Grace کہا “I have a feeling she will be walking any دن now!!!” Dad cut me a slice of cake and کہا “yeah; don’t remind me!!!” While I was eating he snapped a bunch of pictures and when he knelt down I smeared frosting all over the lens. He started to laugh and کہا “you are too cute!!!”

There was a knock at the door and Dad let Grandma inside. She picked me up and کہا “happy birthday!!!”Dad came over and wiped off my face with a napkin and کہا “she was just eating some of her cake.” Grandma smiled as she gave me a kiss on the cheek and put me down. She pulled a Mickey ماؤس stuffed animal out of the gift bag she was carrying and Dad کہا “wow آپ have your own Mickey now!!!”

Grandma کہا “well; I have to head out I just stopped سے طرف کی to bring Alanna her present.” Dad walked her to the door and کہا “see آپ soon mother.” As she was shutting the door I blew her kiss and they both کہا “awwww!!!”He took me back into the living room and I hugged him. I rested my head on his chest and he passed me my pacifier.

I sat on Dad’s lap as he talked to Nanny Grace. He کہا “I can’t believe it has been a سال already!!!” Grace کہا “yeah; Alanna has changed so much!!!” He کہا “I knew Debbie wouldn’t have called here today.” She کہا “you’re doing what is best for Alanna, don’t ever doubt that!!!” He کہا “I hope that it doesn’t affect her too much!!!” Grace کہا “you are all she’ll ever need Michael; you’re an amazing father!!!” I took my pacifier out of my mouth and started to babble. Dad looked at me and کہا “you think I’m a good daddy too; huh.”

March 20 1995,

I was sitting in the living room playing with my toys when I wanted to get Dad’s attention. He was in the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ cleaning when I کہا “Daddy!!!” He ran into the room and asked “did آپ just call me?” I کہا “Daddy” and he scooped me up into his arms. He ran into the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ and کہا “Grace; Alanna just کہا her first word!!!” I کہا it again and she کہا “I knew it was only a matter of time!!!”

Dad kissed my forehead and کہا “my baby is growing up way too fast!!!” Grace کہا “she is going to grow Michael; آپ better get used to it!!!” He کہا “yeah I know…I’m مزید excited to watch her grow up!!!” He hugged me and کہا “I am always going to be there for her when she needs me!!!”

My father is bound and determined to be a good parent no matter what happens!!! Grandpa wasn’t there for him and he is not going to let that happen to me.

March 20 1995,

There was a knock at the front door and Dad was surprised to see all of his brothers staring at him. He asked “what are آپ guys doing here?” They pushed their way pasted him and sat down on the barstools in the kitchen. Uncle Jackie picked me up and کہا “we have a سوال for آپ Michael.” Dad raised his eyebrows and asked “what?” Uncle Marlon کہا “we need some money to promote the group so, can آپ write us a check for 10 thousand dollars?”

Dad took me from Uncle Jackie and rolled his eyes. He کہا “this is going to be just another one of your get rich quick schemes that fails!!!” Uncle Jermaine کہا “this will be the last time we ever ask آپ for money!!!” Dad کہا “no….I’m not going to fall for that again!!!” Uncle Randy was about to say something when Dad کہا “I am starting my own family; I can’t give آپ that money just to waste!!!”

My uncles stormed out the door and Grace looked at Dad in shock. She کہا “I can’t believe they just expect آپ to give them 10 thousand dollars!!!” He کہا “they do that a lot….their just jealous of my fame!!!” I grinned and he کہا “you are مزید important to me than their crazy plans!!!” He passed me a bottle and کہا “my father raised then to be money hungry; lucky that didn’t rub off on me.” Nanny Grace کہا “I know آپ won’t let Alanna turn out like them!!!” He کہا “they’re probably complaining about me to Mother already!!!” Grace asked “they only come over here when they want money from you?” He کہا “sadly that’s the truth.”

I fell asleep in Dad’s lap and he کہا “that’s why I don’t want Alanna around them a lot!!!” He laid me down on the سوفی, لٹانا and walked back into the kitchen. Grace asked “does it bother آپ that they just دکھائیں up here uninvited?” He got himself a glass of water and کہا “that irritates me so badly…it’s like they don’t see how rude they’re being!!!”

The phone and the caller ID read “Katherine Jackson.” Dad didn’t answer it and Grace کہا “it’s not like آپ to ignore your mother’s calls.” He کہا “I know my brothers and they told her some stupid little sob story about how I wouldn’t give them any مزید money!!!” He put the phone down and کہا “I don’t want Alanna to grow up thinking everything in life is just handed to you!!!”

April 2 1995,

I was watching the Lion King in the living room while Dad was at a meeting with a public relations executive. Nanny Grace has been watching me for the past few hours and I have tried to take my 1st steps with no luck. Everytime I think about walking I start crawling instead.

Around 5 o’clock Dad walked through the front door and smiled when he saw me. I stood up and ran towards him. He scooped me into his arms and I کہا “Daddy!!!” He tossed me in the air and caught me as I shrieked with laughter. Grace کہا “she has been trying to walk all day; she must have really missed you!!!”

Dad put me down and I started running all over the room. I began to climb on سب, سب سے اوپر of a chair and he stood behind me to make sure I didn’t fall. Grace کہا “I think she is going to be a handful!!!” He کہا “she’ll defiantly keep me on my toes, that’s for sure!!!” I scooted the chair back and forth and he کہا “be careful!!!”

April 5 1995,

Grandma knocked on the front door and Dad let her in. They went into the living room and sat down on the couch. I walked over and grabbed my bottle off of the end میز, جدول and climbed on to Dad’s lap. Grandma asked “when did she start walking Michael?” He smiled and کہا “a couple of days ago!!!”

I put the bottle in my mouth and Grandma کہا “your brothers told me that they stopped سے طرف کی here sometime last week!!!” Dad کہا “I don’t want to talk about them Mother!!!” She hesitated to say “well…they are your family Michael!!!” He کہا “no offence Mother but; my daughter is مزید important to me than they are!!!” she looked at him with a loss for words and he ran his fingers through my hair.

Dad کہا “watch this Mother” and she looked at me. He asked “who am I Alanna?” I took the bottle out of my mouth and کہا “Daddy.” She کہا “I am going to give your brothers the money that they need!!!” He کہا “they don’t need the money; they’re playing آپ Mother!!!” She didn’t say anything because she knew deep down that he was right.

Grandma got up and silently walked out to her car. Dad looked at Grace and کہا “I’ll I’m trying to do is protect her!!!” Grace کہا “let me take Alanna so آپ can make sure your mother is alright.” She took me off his lap and he ran out the door. As he looked down the driveway he saw that she was already gone,

Dad walked back inside the house and کہا “she left.” I ran to him and he picked me up. Grace کہا “well, maybe it’s time for آپ to distance yourself from your family for a while.” He کہا “I hate to say it but; I think your right!!!” He کہا “I have too much on my plate to worry about their problems!!!” I rested my head on his shoulder and کہا “bottle.” He grabbed my bottle off the میز, جدول and gave it to me. As he sat down with me in his arms Dad کہا “besides while I’m on tour they won’t be around to bug me.

It really bothers me that my family takes advantage of my dad. If they want something better than want they’ve got they should earn it. I am so glad that he is my father!!! Any guy can get a girl pregnant but, it takes a real man to be a daddy!!!

April 10 1995,

When I woke up this morning Dad wasn’t there. Nanny Grace took me out of my پالنے, پالنا and brought me downstairs. I کہا “Daddy?” She put me down and کہا “Daddy is working right now.” I looked at her confused and کہا “see Daddy?” She dialed his phone number and put the phone on speaker:

Dad: hello?

Grace: hey, Alanna wants to visit you

Me: hi Daddy

Dad: awww my baby…yeah come سے طرف کی today and I’ll just go ہوم with آپ at the end of the day

Grace: alright; we’ll be there in about a half hour

I kissed the phone

Grace: Alanna just kissed the phone

Dad: (giggling) bye bye, see آپ soon

Grace hung up and started putting stuff in my diaper bag. She helped me put my جیکٹ on and carried me out to the car. Dad started rehearsing for his History tour today and he had left at six thirty, two and a half hours before I wake up.

We pulled up in front of a huge کنسرٹ stadium and Grace took me inside. I looked around and there was lots of equipment everywhere. Dad saw me from the stage and walked towards us. He took me out of Graces arms and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled and کہا “hi Daddy.” One of the female dancers came over and asked “who is this little cutie Michael?” He کہا “this is my daughter Alanna!!!”

As Dad danced around the stage I watched him with my full attention. I had never seen this side of him before and I loved it. The director laughed as I tried to copy what Dad was doing. Grace passed me my bottle and asked “are آپ having fun watching Daddy?” She helped me up onto a chair and I put the bottle in my mouth.

I had fallen asleep in the chair and Dad picked me up. He motioned to the sound producer to turn the موسیقی off. He wrapped me in my blanket and sat down in the chair. His manager sat اگلے to him and کہا “it’s fine that Alanna is here every once in a while…but this isn’t really the best place for a baby to be running around in!!!” Dad کہا “yeah; I know, I only had her here today so she could see where I was.”

A few hours later I woke up to Dad buckling me into my car seat. As he jumped into the نشست اگلے to me and he کہا “hi sleepy head.” Grace کہا “you were amazing today Michael!!!” He کہا “thank you!!!” Grace کہا “Alanna seemed to be having a great time!!!

After I had been put to bed; Dad sat downstairs talking to Grace. He کہا “I hope Alanna is going to handle being apart from me all day!!!” She asked “what time will آپ be ہوم by?” He کہا “I’m hoping سے طرف کی seven pm!!!” As he politely tried to eat his first meal of the دن he کہا “that way I can still give her a bath and put her to bed.”





April 11 1995,

Dad didn’t have to leave for rehearsals till 10:00am today. I was playing with him and then he کہا “it’s time for me to go to work now.” I کہا “I go?” Nanny Grace کہا “you’re going to stay here with me sweetheart.” I looked at him and started to cry. I threw myself on the ground and started to throw a fit. Grace picked me up and کہا “it’s okay daddy will be back soon!” She ushered him to leave the room and as I saw him shut the door I was very confused. I didn’t understand why I had gone to work with him before and was allowed to go with him this time.



Grace put me on the floor and کہا “we’re going to have fun!!!” I کہا “no I see Daddy now!” As she did dishes in the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ I sat there on the floor crying and screaming as loud as I possibly could. She tried everything to get me to stop crying, but nothing seemed to work. I spent at least 45 min. trying to open the front door and screaming for Dad. Eventually I fell asleep under the coffee-table in the living room with a blanket in my hand.



When Dad did arrive back to the ranch I was so happy to see him that I jumped into his arms. He کہا “I missed آپ today!” He kissed me on my four head and I gripped him as tight as I possibly could. Grace told him that I was having major separation anxiety problems and dad became very worried. He کہا “I don’t want her to think that I’m leaving her forever!” He sat down at the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ میز, جدول and tried to put me down. I would not let go of him no matter what. He کہا “I love you; but I need to use the bathroom!”



He putting down and I threw myself on the ground out of fear. When he came back into the room he کہا “I wasn’t gone for that long, I don’t understand why you’re so upset.” Grace کہا “she has been like that all day!” He picked me up and کہا “I should have never brought آپ to work with me!” After رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا was ready we all sat down to eat. Dad had to sleep in my room that night because I wouldn’t let him leave my side.



April 18, 1995,



Grace came into my room and took me out of my crib. She کہا “good morning!” After she fed me I went into the living room to play with my toys. I had a box of crayons and a coloring book when I decided I was going to color on the walls. I had used every single color to draw tons of scribbles all over the place. Grace walked into the room and کہا “oh my gosh what did آپ do?” I looked up at her and just continued to play.


Grace tried her best to get that crayon marks off the دیوار but, that didn’t even seem to make a difference. She کہا “I don’t think your daddy is going to be very happy about this!” She spent over an گھنٹہ trying to get it off the walls and then just gave up.


My naptime rolled around and Grace was getting ready to bring me to my room. She کہا “it’s time to go to sleep.” I کہا “no!” She was about to pick me up when I kicked her on her foot. She کہا “that wasn’t very nice!” After I refused to go upstairs she کہا “we’ll just have to wait until dad gets ہوم won’t we?”


Later on dad came ہوم and put his جیکٹ on the کوٹ rack. He looked at Grace and asked “how was your day?” She کہا “it’s been a long day!” He کہا “you look so tired!” She کہا “Alanna would not take a nap!” He walked into the living room and saw me sleeping on the couch. He کہا “she looks like she’s sleeping to me.” I woke up and کہا “hi daddy.” He picked me up and asked “were آپ good today?” I didn’t answer him and Grace کہا “go see what she did to the دیوار in the dining room!”


Dad walked into the dining room and saw the crayon marks on the walls. He کہا “oh it looks cute!” She looked at him shocked and کہا “I can’t believe that doesn’t upset you!” He کہا “she’s too young to know any better. “Grace کہا “trust me, I think she knows what she’s doing!” They both walked back into the living room and she کہا “and when I tried to put her in her پالنے, پالنا she kicked me!” He looked at her and کہا “I don’t believe you!”



Grace was mad because dad would not discipline me and dad could tell. As dad was setting the میز, جدول کہا “I don’t know what آپ expect me to do about her kicking you!” She کہا “you should make sure that she knows that’s not okay to do!” He کہا “until I see her do it in front of me I’m not going to do anything about it” I started to cry and he کہا “it’s okay daddy’s here!” Grace کہا “if آپ don’t do something about her behavior now it’s only going to get worse in the future!”


No matter what anyone says dad is doing the right thing when it comes to raising me. One thing I know for sure is that he loves me and that will never change! I’m so glad he decided to be a single parent because if Debbie was in the picture things would be a lot different than they are now. Even his own family doubts his abilities to be a good father. All I know is that he would do anything and everything for me!



May 1, 1995,



I woke up this morning in a bad mood. Grace got me ready for the دن and brought me downstairs to eat. She took out a کیلا flavored parfait کی, پآرفااٹ and opened it for me. I looked at it in disgust and pushed it away. She کہا “this is what daddy wanted آپ to have, so that’s all you’re going to get!” I picked it up and threw it on the floor.


Grace looked at me not knowing what to do because my dad had instructed her not to enforce any type of discipline with me. She کہا “that’s not okay!” She gave me a cookie and کہا “that’s not the most healthy breakfast آپ could be eating but, at least آپ have something in your stomach!” Well she washed parfait کی, پآرفااٹ off the floor I walked around the house with the cookie in my hand.



When I had finished that cookie I wanted another one. I went back into the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ and کہا “more!” She کہا “daddy doesn’t want آپ to have a whole bunch of sweets, it’s not good for you.” I کہا “please!” She کہا “you can’t!” I stomped my feet and کہا “I need another cookie now!” She tried her best to ignore me and continued to wash the floor. I walked away for a few منٹ and then came back with a toy in my hand. I took the toy and hit her over the head with it. She کہا “wow, that hurt!”


آپ could tell that she was at the end of her rope when she looked up at me. Grace put me on the سوفی, لٹانا and puts pressed play on a Disney video tape. My father discouraged me from watching TV a lot because he didn’t want me to get addicted to watching it! That seemed to keep me calm for a long time because before I knew it dad’s car was pulling into the driveway.


I was mad because Grace wouldn’t let me go outside to see him. She کہا “he’ll be in here in a minute, there’s no point in going outside to see him!” She knelt down to pick me up and I hit her across the face. I didn’t notice that dad was standing in the doorway looking at me. He asked “what’s going on here?” Grace کہا “she’s been in a bad mood all day, and is not listening to me at all!” He کہا “come here Alanna.” He picked me up and کہا “you look grumpy…you must be tired!”


Grace کہا “you’ve got to be kidding me Michael, آپ should be telling her not to hit people!” He کہا “I don’t think she was really trying to hit آپ Grace!” She asked “what do آپ mean she wasn’t trying to hit me; آپ saw her hit me with your own two eyes!” Dad ignored her and started to tickle me.



May 7, 1995,



I was so excited because dad didn’t have to work today so he was staying with me all day. When I had gotten up from my nap he decided that I had watched enough TV and shut it off. I کہا “more!” He کہا “the TV is all done for today.” I walked over to the TV and turned the power on. He got up from the سوفی, لٹانا and کہا “no; we’re all done watching TV for right now.”


I would not take no for an answer and continued to turn the TV on. At first dad just ignored me and started to read his book. Then he shut it off one last time and of course I turned it back on. Grace raised her eyebrows and looked at my dad. She کہا “see this is what I’m talking about; she always acts like this when she’s with me!” he shrugged his shoulders and کہا “she’ll eventually give up!” I walked over to him and climbed on his lap. I hit him across the face and he looked at me in shock.



Dad thought about it for a سیکنڈ and sternly کہا “you’re not going to act this way!” He picked me up and pulled out a chair from the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ table. He put me in the chair and placed me in it. He knelt down to my level and calmly کہا “you sit here and think about what to just did, I’ll be back in a few منٹ to come get you!” After he walked away I got out of the chair and went up to him. He brought me over to the chair again and کہا “do not get out from this نشست again!” I got up about eight مزید times and he just kept bringing me back to the chair without saying a word. I finally got the message and sat there for a few minutes.



Dad came over to me and knelt back down. He asked “can آپ say you’re sorry to me for hitting?” I started to cry and in between sobs I کہا “I’m sorry daddy!” He کہا “as long as you’re sorry it’s okay!” He hugged me and کہا “I still don’t think she understood what she did wrong… I mean she’s only 14 months old for Pete’s sake!” Grace کہا “really because I think she understood every single word آپ said!” I got off the chair and went into the living room to play with my toys.



I have never seen this side of my father before but, I have the feeling that I’m going to be seeing it a lot from now on. I think in the beginning he was afraid to implement discipline because of his father’s strict punishment towards him and his brothers. Grace helped him realize that if he doesn’t lay down the law with me now it’s going to be so much worse as I get older. I don’t blame him for doing what he did because any good father would discipline their children and have control over them.



May 12, 1995,



It was the middle of the دن and grandma was coming over today. When she got here I was sitting in timeout because I would not listen to my dad. She walked in the door and asked “so how are things going for آپ and the baby doing?” He کہا “things seem to be going okay for us right now; how about you?” She کہا “I thought آپ should know that I gave your brothers the money that they asked آپ for a while ago.” He raised his eyebrows and کہا “mother it’s not محفوظ for آپ to be handing out money for their stupid little schemes that they come up with to get rich!”



Grandma got up from her نشست at the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ میز, جدول and کہا “yeah, well I see things completely different son.” Dad took me out of time out and کہا “I am just trying to look out for you…I know how they can be!” She کہا “contrary to what آپ may believe Michael, they come up with these plans on their own not with help from their father!” He put me down and کہا “I don’t mean to sound disrespectful to آپ mother but, آپ can’t blame me for thinking that way!” She asked “then why won’t آپ let them over here on a regular basis to see Alanna?” He started to get slightly irritated with her and کہا “because I don’t want her to think that everything in life is just came to you!”



Grandma was at a loss for words and just stared at dad in shock. It’s I grabbed the bottom of his pant leg and he picked me up. Grandma sighed and کہا “I guess you’re right Michael but, they make me feel so guilty for letting your father be so abusive towards them!” سے طرف کی the look on his face he was clearly remembering all the terrible things my grandfather had done to him as a child. He cleared his throat while pushing back tears and ran his fingers through my dirty blonde hair.



Dad quickly changed the subject and کہا “I’m going to go on a tour to promote my new album within the اگلے year!” Grandma asked “how did Frank manage to convince آپ to go on another tour?” He chuckled and کہا “I told him that I wasn’t going to leave Alanna at such a pivotal point in her life… So I’m going to bring her with me!” She had a worried look on her face and کہا “it’s going to be a lot of work to balance parenting Alanna and making sure آپ are prepared for each concert!” He کہا “I know and trust me I’ve put a lot of thought into that but, I’m going to have to make it work because I can’t برداشت, ریچھ to leave her behind with the nanny!”



It bothers me that his own family doubts his abilities to multi-task but, I have faith in him. I am worried though about my grandmother in regards to my uncles motives with her money. I think that she is being too trustworthy of them but, isn’t it a mothers job to be able to trust your children with anything. I can see where my dad is coming from with trying to warn her about their intentions… After all he’s doing what he thinks is best for me and maybe there?

June 9, 1995,



When I woke up this morning dad came in to get me but, something was different. As he picked me up I noticed he had a bandage over his nose. I went to grab for it and he کہا “no, daddy just had surgery done on my nose and it still hurts a lot!” I had never seen him with his nose covered like that before but, I wasn’t too interested in what was going on.



Dad took me downstairs and feed me something to eat and then we went into the living room to watch TV. He sat there on the سوفی, لٹانا fixing his bandage and trying not to focus on the pain he was feeling. I looked at him and smiled with my two front teeth grin. I quietly hummed along to the theme song of Mickey ماؤس club house ( old videotaped episodes from the middle 80s).



After a couple of منٹ he seemed to be مزید comfortable and started to talk to Grace. He کہا “Alanna keeps staring at my nose wondering what the heck I have sticking to my face!” She کہا “she probably doesn’t know what to make of it.” Truth be told I really didn’t care about the bandages on his face, I just thought he looked weird with a giant piece of gauze covering his nose!



June 29, 1995,



Dad was pacing back and forth across that living room floor. Why آپ ask? Lisa Marie Presley his ex-wife was coming over to visit and meet me for the first time since I’ve been born. As آپ can imagine he was extremely nervous about seeing her again. It had been months since they conversed on a civil matter. He was worried about what she might say about how much their lives have changed since the divorce.



Then she finally arrived and one of the security guards let her inside. She hugged dad and کہا “I can’t believe how long it’s been since we last talked Michael!” He کہا “I know, I know it feels as if we haven’t talked in years!” Dad knelt down and picked me up saying “this is Alanna, she’s my daughter.” Lisa stroked my head and کہا “she adorable Michael!” He کہا “thank آپ I know she is!” He pulled out a chair for her and they sat down at the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ table.



Dad کہا “I have to admit that I was really nervous about seeing آپ again Lisa!” she looked at him puzzled and کہا “why were آپ nervous?” He کہا “after our flight on the Internet over a سال پہلے I was worried how آپ would react to meeting Alanna for the first time!” She کہا “I was just really angry and sometimes when I’m angry I don’t realize what I’m saying until it’s too late!” He کہا “I still love آپ just not as my wife… I married to Alanna’s mother now.” She asked “does she live here with you?” He کہا “no she lives on the other side of Los Angeles in a ranch house tending to all of her various animals.”



I کہا “blues clues please on TV!” Dad got up from his نشست and put in the videotape for me to watch. As he sat back down Lisa کہا “she must have a really good job to be able to afford that ranch house and all those animals!” He کہا “she works at my dermatologist office and no she doesn’t make that much.” Lisa asked “well then how does she pay for all of that stuff?” He hesitated to say “I gave Debbie compensation money for carrying our child and future children.” Lisa asked “wouldn’t that make her مزید like a surrogate mother and a wife to you?” Dad کہا “I don’t feel comfortable talking to آپ about my private life!”



They walked into the living room and sat down on the سوفی, لٹانا اگلے to me. I rested my head on dads lap and Lisa smile at the two of us. Dad asked me “can آپ say hi to Ms. Presley?” I hid my face in his legs and he کہا “oh, now آپ going to act shy!” He looked at Lisa and کہا “normally she’s very outgoing but when it comes to meeting new people she tends to be reserved.” She asked “I’m assuming she gets that dirty blonde hair from Debbie کہا his family obviously?” He کہا “yeah, other than that she looks like me!” She کہا “Alanna is so well behaved!” He chuckled and کہا “you just caught her on a good day… Normally she is pushing my buttons!” He asked “I have to put آپ in timeout a lot, don’t I Alanna?”



I started to blush and they both broke out laughing. Dad کہا “I bet آپ probably jinxed her good دن Lisa!” He کہا “how are آپ kids I miss them?” She کہا “we’re doing well, they are getting so big!” He کہا “I’m starting my history tour soon and I would like آپ to have front row seats and backstage passes to my کنسرٹ for my دکھائیں in Los Angeles!” He gave her the first two tickets before they even go on sale and she hugged him.



As she was getting ready to leave she kissed me on the cheek and کہا “I hope to see آپ guys soon!” Dad hugged her one last time and کہا “you will see is that the کنسرٹ in a couple months!” She کہا “yeah, but I won’t see Alanna!” He کہا “yes آپ will, she’s coming with me on tour!” She کہا shocked “well then, I will see soon!”



After she had left dad looked at a تصویر album the two of them together a few weeks after they had gotten married. I think deep down my dad still has feelings for her but, he didn’t want to get too far into their relationship and not be able to have any children of his own. I know he is still harboring feelings of hatred and resentment towards ever giving them manage it try. He was under the assumption that she would give him at least one child of his own, so as time went on and she still was refusing to have another child he felt hopeless. I don’t know if they would’ve lasted as long as he believes they would’ve but, that doesn’t matter anymore because I’m here and he’s happy!!!



July 17, 1995,



Dad, his manager Frank, and I were sitting in the living room waiting for a phone call with the results of the history tour ticket sales. They had gone on sale about five منٹ پہلے and knowing how مقبول my dad is there probably all sold out! The phone rang and it spooked him and Frank as they jumped to answer it. Dad had his ear rested up against the back of the phone so he could listen in on the call. All I remember hearing is dad saying “oh well; I can’t believe it… That’s amazing!” Apparently that tickets sold out in less than 15 سیکنڈ for the entire tour, which if آپ ask me it’s pretty jaw dropping!



After the two of them got their composure dad کہا “I’m glad the tickets went so fast because this is going to be my last tour for a long time!” Frank کہا “yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Mike آپ don’t like to tour!” I climbed onto the سوفی, لٹانا and dad کہا “nanny Grace, you, and I are going to travel the world together…woo hoo!” I clapped my hands and کہا “yay!” Him and Frank laughed and he کہا “I think Alanna is مزید excited about this than I am!”



August 30, 1995,



When I woke up this morning dad took me downstairs and put me in my highchair. He scooped some fruit ترکاریاں, سلاد onto my tray and sat down اگلے to me. He picked up a سٹرابیری, اسٹرابیری and asked “what fruit is this Alanna?” I کہا “that is a strawberry!” He ate it and کہا “very good!” I took a bite out of all the different foods and کہا “daddy I want to get out please.” He opened the highchair and lifted me out. He کہا “thank آپ for using your manners!”



Now that I’m talking مزید I can also understand مزید too. I was running around the living room and dad came in and sat down on the floor. I ran over to him and he started to tickle me. As I shrieked with laughter and he pretended to have a playful evil laugh! He کہا “the tickle monster is coming to get you!!!” He tossed in the air and caught me. I gave him a kiss and pushed my container of blocks over to him. I dumped them out all over the floor and the two of us sorted them سے طرف کی color.



Dad has noticed that when he has a دن off from rehearsals and spends time with me I don’t act out. Even when he is ہوم though, I still get put into time out at least once a day. When dad says no he really means it. For a few weeks I thought he would give up on punishing me but he’s totally serious about how normal of a life I have. Most kids here in LA who are privileged سے طرف کی celebrity parents get away with anything but, I’m definitely not one of those kids!



September 13, 1995,



While I was in the living room playing with toys, dad noticed that my hair kept getting in my face. He has been putting off getting my hair cut for three months now. His reasoning for that is he doesn’t want me to grow up too fast. After all it did take 10 months for me to have a full head of hair, so I think it’s going to be hard for him to have it cut!



Dad picked me up and کہا “I don’t really want to do this but, I think it’s time for آپ to get a haircut!” He called for Karen Faye his hairstylist/makeup artist and she came downstairs. She asked “what do آپ need Michael?” He sighed and کہا “Alanna needs to have her first haircut!” She کہا “okay I can do that for you!” He کہا “I’d like to have her hair only go past her ears سے طرف کی half an inch; I didn’t really like her having long hair but, I couldn’t برداشت, ریچھ having it cut!” He started to get a little teary eyed and Karen کہا “it’ll be okay Michael, it will grow back!”



Karen put me in a dining chair and covered me with an old towel. Dad sat down in the chair across from me and cringed every time Karen would chop off a lock of my dirty blonde hair. I smiled at him and he کہا “you look so cute!” I sneezed and he ran over to me with a tissue in his hand.



After Karen was done cutting my hair, dad looked at her and کہا “that looks so adorable!” He picked a piece of hair off the floor and کہا “this is going to go in her baby book!” Karen asked “did I do good job یا not?” Dad smiled and کہا “I love it, I want her hair to look like this from now on!”



October 31, 1995,



Today is my first Halloween and dad had bought me a کتے costume to wear trick-or-treating. I was watching TV in my bedroom when he came upstairs to see when I was doing. He had the costume in his hands and helped me step into it. He zipped it up and کہا “you look so cute… My little brown کتے dog!” Grace walked in the room and کہا “I don’t know how آپ plan on bringing her trick-or-treating Michael!”



To be honest with you, I was thinking the same thing! After all my dad is Michael Jackson the international global phenomenon! He can barely leave the house unless he’s in disguise; let alone with his kid! He sat on the floor thinking about what bringing me out in public involved and I climbed into his lap. He smiled down at the floppy ears attached to my costume and I کہا “bark bark!”



Dad reluctantly کہا “I hate to tell her that we can’t go trick-or-treating after I got her all hyper and excited.” Grace کہا “well, it’s not like she knows what trick-or-treating is all about, she seems pretty happy to me just wearing the costume and running around!” He got up off the floor and کہا “yeah I guess you’re right; all just have to make a plan of action for اگلے سال so I am prepared!” She کہا “I know you’ll think of something Michael… You’re just good like that!” He watched me running around the room and کہا “she’s probably too young to remember this anyway!”



I can understand why he would be so upset سے طرف کی us not being able to go trick-or-treating because when he was a kid he wasn’t allowed to celebrate holidays because of his busy schedule and the fact that Jehovah witnesses do not celebrate holidays aside from Easter. It was hard for him because he wasn’t allowed to be a child, and he doesn’t want me to miss out on my childhood. He wants better for me than what he had. Which is why I know no matter how out-of-control I am in the future (because it’s becoming pretty apparent now that I will be defiant against authority) he will always love me for who I am!”



November 2, 1995,



Dad was out in disguise shopping for some of my early Christmas presents when he came across a display of fancy feathered masks. In that moment he had an idea, he brought masks and ran out the store. He left in such a hurry that some of my gifts were still in the middle of the floor. The bodyguards had to go get them later on after the store had closed.



When dad did get back to the ranch I ran up to him screaming his name. He کہا “wait till آپ see what I got you!” He opened the bag he was carrying and pulled out some of the masks. Grace looked at him puzzled and asked “why did آپ buy all of those?” He put one of the masks on me and کہا “now I can bring her out in public with me and not have to worry about her being noticed یا kidnapped!” Grace کہا “wow آپ can’t even tell that she looks like آپ because her face is hidden!”



I kept trying to take the mask off because it was hard to see what I was doing but, after a while I got used to it though! Now all that I need to do is to desensitize myself from all those loud screaming شائقین of his! I got up from the chair that I was sitting in and gave my dad a kiss on the lips.



November 5, 1995,



This morning while I was eating my breakfast dad was talking on the phone with a representative from the HBO movie network. After they were done talking he took me out of my high chair and cleaned off the tray. Grace walked into the room and dad کہا “that was that movie network, they want me to do a کنسرٹ special about the new tour and I کہا I would do it.” She کہا “it’s not really my place to say anything but, you’re pushing yourself too hard… آپ need a break Michael!” He کہا “I’ll be fine, I’ve done stuff like this before and I can handle it!”



I started throwing toys all over the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ and dad کہا “don’t do that; it’s not safe!” I looked at him and threw another toy across the room. It hit him on the foot and he gave me his look that all parents give to the kids when they mean business. I walked over to the corner of the room and stood there facing the wall. I knew that’s where he was going to put me anyways. It’s getting to the point though where timeout doesn’t seem like much of a punishment anymore. I just sit there and wait for him to tell me I can get out!



December 8, 1995,



While dad was filming for the ویژن ٹیلی special I was at ہوم with nanny Grace for the day. I was playing with some of my toys when the phone rang. All I remember hearing is Grace saying “oh my gosh; don’t worry we’ll be there in a matter of minutes!” She grabbed me and ran out the door, trying not to panic! I had no idea where we were going but, something must be going on!



We pulled up in front of a hospital and Grace took me out of the car. A nurse directed us to a room and dad was laying there in a white gown. He looked up at me and smiled as Grace passed me to him. She asked “what happened to آپ Michael?” He kissed my forehead and کہا “I just started to feel really dizzy and then I just collapsed… I couldn’t get any air to my lungs!” Grace looked worried and کہا “so how long did the doctor say آپ have to stay here for?” He کہا “they کہا that most of the pain I was feeling is attributed to stress and that as long as I take a break every once in a while I’ll be fine!” She کہا “I told آپ Michael آپ need to take it easy on yourself!”



Dad got up from his hospital بستر and grabbed his جیکٹ off one of the chairs that was in the room. I nodded off while I was in his arms and we went out to the car. He buckled me to my car نشست and one on the bodyguards drove us home. I remember waking up to dad and nanny Grace arguing back and forth about how he needed to relax مزید for my sake!



This was the first time I remember my dad putting his health at risk سے طرف کی over working himself. I think part of his reasoning for this was that he was pushed into doing the tour when he didn’t want to. The problem is with everyone telling them what he should and should not do; he doesn’t know who to believe! Most of the reason why he’s touring again is to make sure we’re extremely financially stable for a long, long time.