He gives me butterflies

Ever, since I lost Michael it has been so, hard for me. I kinda drop my grades in school a little bit, I cry at school and have to go to the Consular for a while. I take my anger on other people, of when I think of him. Also, I also scream at my poster's of Michael, and I say harsh things like, I hate آپ why did آپ did this too آپ could have been stronger, I don't want to hear from آپ again. Then sometimes, I just sob until, I go to sleep and other times, I don't eat at all. I also notice something, I don't smile anymore, unless some one cheered me up. Why, did he have to go? In, my head...