My Little ٹٹو Friendship is Magic Club
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Yes, it's back.. I promise not to take up so much space.. As I'm one shoting them for now one...

MATURE CONTENT WARNING:



Saten Twist and Master Sword are at a mall, only to get a rude brush-off from the Santa who works there when he leaves for the night. As a result, Sword vows to kill Santa for blowing him off. And knowing Sword, he wasn't joking.

Saten: Man, آپ may want to calm down there

Sword: f that beslubbering, onion-eyed maggot-pie thinks he can just blow me off like that, he's got another thing coming..(pulls out Pistol) And it's full of led (points it)

Saten: (slaps it away) Geez louise man!

Sword: آپ know what. I'm killing him. You're driving me. Let's go.

Saten: Dri... Driving آپ where?

Sword; To the North Pole to see Santa Claus.

Saten: Really? Up to the North Pole? How do آپ expect me to get there?

Sword: We drive

Saten: I'm not driving آپ to north pole.

Voice: Bar closing

Saten: ... Okay I'll drve you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

FAKE NORTH POLE:

Sword: This is it huh?

Saten: Yep. This is it.

Teen: Yo, yo, what's up, y'alls? Y'alls ready to kick it in some fine North Pole gear?!

Sword: ... Saten. Does the North Pole usually having teenagers.

Saten: Yeah, sure.

Sword: Hmm... Let me ask something else.. (pins him on دیوار pointing the gun) آپ THINK I'M AN IDIOT!?

Saten: I..

Sword: آپ can't jerk me around when it comes to Santa Claus, dude! There is a Ferris wheel here, and a guy hosing vomit! Nobody vomits at the North Pole! Except for Santa's wife because she has an eating disorder!

Saten: What?

Sword: Yeah, 'cause he can have anyone he wants, and she knows that!

Saten: Okay Sword, there's something I should probably tell you.

Sword: Fine (lowers gun)

Saten: I hate to tell آپ this Sword, but there really is no Santa.

Sword: ... (chuckles) That's funny.. I thought آپ کہا Santa wasn't real.. What's next, hmm? . Um, who else isn't real? Hmm? Y...You gonna tell me SpongeBob? Is he not real? Huh? Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean giving Squidward the business? Hmm? یا what about Curious George? Huh? Does he not really exist? Hmm? Is Curious George not out there makin' little boats out of newspapers that he should be delivering? Huh? Educate yourself, آپ fool!

Saten: Guess we'll have to do this the hard way then.

Sword: آپ know, آپ know why nothing works out for you, Twist!? Because you've got a negative attitude. Like Eeyore.

Saten: Oh, that's not fair Master. I don't think I have a negative attitude. I just don't think it's a good idea for us to embark on a potentially dangerous journey whe...

Sword: I still have a loaded gun.. Now drive me to the real North Pole.

Saten: What do I get out of this?

Sword: Help me and ... I'll take آپ and Trixie with me to Los Pegasus.

Sword: I'll even pay for the greatest buffets.

Saten: Fine..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(They drive to Canada but the car breaks down).

Saten: Well that's just great.

Canadian: ارے there fokes.

Sword: Well this is convienent

Canadian: Oh, ارے there. You're having some car troubles, eh?

Saten: Yeah, we're trying to get to the North Pole. I don't suppose you're from Triple A, are you?

Canadian: Who?

Saten: Triple A, آپ know? A-A-A.

Canadian: Oh, AA, eh? Oh, I just came from AA.

Saten: No, not AA! AAA!

Canadian: Yeah, that's what I said. AA, eh?

Saten:: Oh, so آپ are with Triple A.

Canadian: Oh, no, that's AAA. I just came from AA, eh?

Sword: Saten I think he's just a drunk.

Saten: Hold on Master, I'm handling this.

Canadian: Well, I can probably take آپ to a gas station, eh? آپ have cash, eh?

Saten: Well, I dunno, my name carries a little weight, but I don't see how that matters here.

Sword: Look, we don't have enough cash to fix the car and we're kind of on our way to the North Pole.

Canadian: Oh, a car won't take ya there anyway. But if ya like, آپ can take my snowmobile.

Saten: ... Really?

Canadian: Oh, sure. That's what Canadian hospitality's all aboot. If ya like, آپ can have all my money and my leg.

Sword: ... Okay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(skip to the two on the snowmoblie, Sword holding the leg)

Saten: Why'd we take his leg?

Sword: We're in their country, Saten, we have to observe their customs. (drops leg on bump)

Sword: ... Well, at least we're done with the first leg of our journey.

Saten: That pun was bad and آپ should feel bad.

Sword (annoyed): Fuck off

Saten: I would, but then you'd be all alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(They arrive)

Sword: There it is, Santa's factory

Saten: ...

Saten: I don't believe it.

They knock and sure enough Santa appears. However Santa is a sick and elderly looking, dying man.

Saten: Santa!?

Santa: Who are you?

Sword: I'm Master Sword (pulls out the handgun) AND I'M HERE TO KILL YOU!

Santa: ... Oh thank god. *kneels in front of them* Please do it.

Sword: What?

Santa: (puts gun in mouth) Do it!

Sword: You.. Want me two?

Santa: Put me out of my misery!

Sword: Whoa man, there's no sport in that.

Santa: *starts coughing, Saten helps him up*

Saten: I... I don't understand. I thought آپ were supposed to be jolly and happy.

Santa (shows the factory to be dark gloomy place, and the elfs ll deformed and grey skinned, and the Raindeers all rabid wild animals): I used to be, a long time ago. I made toys for little boys and girls. I loved my work, and they loved me. But it just got out of hand. The world's population kept growing and growing. Kids wanted مزید toys, fancier toys! We used to make wooden choo-choos and rag dolls. آپ ever try to make an iPod?! I've got orders for millions of 'em!

Saten: ... (crosses iPod off his list).

Santa: Look at those poor elves.. they're just a sickly race of mutated genetic disasters. At least 60% of them are born blind. The workload destroys them, but they don't know anything else. It's gotten so their instincts take over, and near the end, they just walk out into the snow and die. Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a blood-lust for elf flesh. I don't even pray for them anymore. Seems pointless. What God would allow this?

Sword (actually frightened, which for him is saying a lot): This is none of the songs یا specials!

Saten: How could آپ let this happen?!

Santa: Me!? I didn't do this! CHRISTMAS DID THIS!!

(All the elves stand up angrily).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SONG:

Santa: Each گھنٹی, بیل would peal with a silvery zeal, as the holiday feeling was filling us. But now instead all we're feeling is dread, because Christmas time is killing us!

Elves (all together): Each Christmas فہرست gets us مزید and مزید pissed, till the thought of existence is chilling us!

Santa: I'll tell آپ what, shove your فہرست up your butt! Because Christmas time is killing us!

Saten (singing): But can't آپ see, that what آپ do is a dream come true? Can't آپ see that, every smile makes it all worthwhile?

Santa: No, screw, you! It's all but through, there's too much to do! All those dreams are nightmares, (zoom in Elf) AND BLANK ICY STARES!

Santa: Each little elf used to fill up a shelf, making playthings and selflessly thrilling us! Now they're on crack, and it feels like lraq, because Christmastime is killing us!

Elves (together): Each model train only heightens the pain of a workload that's draining and drilling us!

Santa: Fingers all bleed, and look that guy just peed, because Christmas time is killing us!

Sword (singing): But can't آپ see, our point of view? We rely on you. Can't آپ see that Christmas cheer, gets us through the year?

Santa: My whole crew is black and blue, can't آپ take a clue? آپ may think I look great, (zoom in to دکھائیں his elderly wrinkered skin) BUT I'M TWENTY-EIGHT!

Santa: Each jingle گھنٹی, بیل is a requiem knell. And while آپ think it's swell we are toiling in Hell. Take a look, آپ can tell as a man I'm a sheeeeeeeeeell! because Christmastime is killing us! KILLING US! Christmas time is killing us!

(Song ends with the elves all hanging themselves).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa: (coughs and passes out)

Saten: (jaw dropped)

Sword: ... Is weird that that was a great song?

Saten: (eyes turn to him, having no reply)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Skips to Santa in hospital.

Saten: Is he going to be okay?! It's Christmas!

Elf Doctor: Christmas is the problem! He can't keep this pace up anymore. If he goes out tonight, he'll die.

20h agoSword: Which means no مزید Christmas!?

Elf Doctor: Afraid so.

Saten: ... We're do it

Sword and Doctor (together): What!?

Saten: آپ were right Sword, he IS real. And he needs our help.

Sword: Alright. So how do we start?

Saten': Don't worry, Santa. We'll make sure there's a Christmas this year.

Santa: Thank آپ red pony. That brings me peace in this hour. I'll be with Allah soon.

Saten: What!?

Dr Elf: H-he's just delerious.

Saten: *clearly uncomfortable* Okay then. So we should probably get started

Sword: Anyone else freaked out سے طرف کی that Allah thing?

Saten: Forget that, lets get going.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Later as they prepare to leave).

Saten: alright.. (whips) Mush!

*Reindeer don't move*

Sword: It's not working. I think they need to be coaxed. Santa کہا they eat elf flesh.

Sword (sees a misshapen elf standing in the snow, staring blankly at nothing): Hey! ارے you! Come over here!

Elf doesn't move.

Saten: I don't think he even knows where he is.

Sword: I guess we should just do it then.

Saten: (sighs, goes over with swissblade)

Saten cuts through the elf's arm, the elf is unfazed and unresponsive.

Saten (takes the arm): So... bye! *runs back to sleigh*

They take off, using the arm as a lure.

Sword: ارے dude, that one reindeer just kind of pooped in the other reindeer's face, and the other reindeer just kind of ate it. Isn't Christmas magical?

Saten: It sure is.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sword: Alright. First house of the night

Saten: (tosses gifts carelessly)

Sword: Whoa whoa man! آپ can't just toss those all about.

Saten: Why not?

Sword: آپ kidding? Those aren't socks and underwear donated سے طرف کی the آگ کے, آگ department to some battered women's shelter. Those are Santa gifts, دکھائیں some care asshole.

Saten: Whatever, I delievered them. *grabs cookie and eats it*

Sword: Did آپ just eat that whole cookie off the mantel?!

Saten: What? They left it out for Santa. We're Santa.

Sword: Yeah, but you're not supposed to eat all of it. آپ take a bite and a sip of milk..

Saten: Oh آپ know what. *pours دودھ on ground* There. Now they'll know Santa was here

Sword: مزید like Grinch was here.

Saten: Look I'm here giving out presents, I'll eat the damn cookie if I want. In fact, I might make myself a sandwich.

Sword: Don't آپ fucking dare!

Saten: *goes into the kitchen*

Man: Who's there!? (turns on light)

Saten: Uhh.. I'm Santa.

Man: Yeah, sure, your Santa. That why آپ broke in through the window? I'm calling the cops.

Saten: Wait, we are. We just couldn't fit though the chimey, and forgot the presents.. It's actually a funny stor-

Sword: AHH! (assualts him with bat, spraying blood everywherw)

Saten: WHAT THE HELL!?

Sword: HE WAS GONNA CALL THE COPS! NOBODY CALLS THE FUCKING COPS ON SANTA!

Sword: Now help me drag him to the closet!

Girl: Santa!?

Sword: ... Fuck

Wife: Who are you!?.. (sees body) DAN!?

Saten: Look, we can explain.

Wife flees.

Sword panicks and fires the handgun from earlier.

Girl: MOMMY!

Saten: DUDE!

Sword: I panicked okay! Now find some tape!

The little girl is taped up.

Sword: Alright, now to clean the bat and give to (reads) Johnny... Go check for her brother

Saten: (Goes upstairs) There's only one bedroom!

Sword: Then who's... oh dear god we're in the wrong house!

(sirens blaring)

Sword: Damn it, we tripped the alarm. The cops are coming. Let's go!

Saten: What?! We're just leaving like this? What about not wanting to ruin Christmas?!

Sword: It's already ruined! This was one house. We've been here for an گھنٹہ and a half! An گھنٹہ and... First of all, we're not even Santa anymore. This has been a ہوم invasion. But an گھنٹہ and a half Saten!

Saten: No wonder Santa lost his mind, we can't do this in one night!

Sword: NOBODY CAN, IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

ON SLED:

Sword: I can't believe it! We were supposed to save Christmas, and we completely blew it! We failed Santa!

Saten: No. No, we didn't fail Santa. The world failed Santa. The poor man just gives and gives and gives, and everyone just takes him for granted. Hell, I didn't even think he existed until last night.

Sword: I agree. But what are we supposed to do now? Christmas is doomed.

Saten: Maybe, but there is one thing we can do.

Saten: But we can make things right

-------------------------------------------------------------------

PONYVILLE/THE اگلے DAY:

Reporter: This just in, reports from all over the world says that no presents have delivered. We can only assume that everyone has been naugh-

Saten (runs infront of camera): Wait! I know what happened to Santa!

Reporter: Wha?

Twi (from her house): Saten?

(Saten wheels out Santa).

Reporter: Santa?!

Saten: That's right! It's Santa Claus! And the reason there was no Christmas this سال is that this man is sick. Very sick. He's been bludgeoned سے طرف کی years of greed and avarice. The workload of filling our Christmas lists has overwhelmed him. And at the rate he's going, he may not make it another year. But there's a way for us to help him. If all of us everywhere can just cut back our demands and ask for only one Christmas present every year, there may still be hope. I know it's in our nature to resist sacrifice, even in hard times, but if we don't, we may have to give up Christmas altogether.

Reporter: آپ heard him folks. Will we take just one gift a year, can we live with that?

Various people: One is enough... One's enough... I can live with that.

Canada24: Okay, just one.. But if it's a gym membership, someone's getting punched in the fucking face!



END OF EPISODE:
added by Seanthehedgehog
I eat a سینڈوچ
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my
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friendship
my little ٹٹو
my little ٹٹو friendship is magic
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Source: To their rightful owners
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Fiery waves – the ups and downs of Summer Pride

Chapter 6: Sic semper tyrannis


Ah, all this storytelling made me thirsty... Can I offer آپ a drink? Just let me check my saddlebag... Are آپ sure, آپ don't want one? This is something that sets the mood for the اگلے part. It's a bottle of Witch Blood... آپ know how difficult it is to find such high quality wine these days? But I have a pretty refined taste, so it worths the effort... That's the spirit, here آپ go! Delicious, isn't it? Hmm... Got آپ a little curious, huh? I can see it all over you. You're like a giant سوال mark, my friend....
continue reading...
posted by Dragon4322
 "we came out of the bushes"
"we came out of the bushes"
The اگلے morning the Changelings, Chrysalis, and I all packed our guns and ammo then headed north. We knew the buffalo were hiding in the thickets and trees so we made sure to be quiet when entering the enemy front. I quickly put a سنگین on my M16 and made sure it was loaded. Chrysalis had a LAW with her so i felt she could handle herself. We both silently toed the ground and took careful steps. Then I started to hear voices to my left and told the general about it so she told me to take two changelings where the voices were coming from. We came back and reported to her that there were about seven buffalo well armed with bolt action rifles and grenade launchers. She told me ,"Okay take four مزید changelings and attack them from the side". I did as I was told. It turns out that when we came out of the bushes that the enemy immediately surrendered and showed no resistance.
 " take four مزید changelings.."
" take four more changelings.."
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to another story about a spy named Con Mane. We begin at a Mexican nuclear base.

Con: *runs onto dam*
pilot: *flies past Con*
Con: *ties himself to guardrail*

Con jumped, as the rope slowly let him down toward part of the base. A few منٹ later he was inside.

Mexican pony777: *watches T.V.*
Mexican pony484: *goes to bathroon*
Mexican pony556: *leaves bathroom*
Mexican pony484: *reads newspaper*
Con: Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock *K.O's mexican*

From there Con walked into an unlit room when he ran into another ٹٹو named John.

John: ¡Señor! ¿Estás solo?
Con: Yes, I'm alone....
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After 40 منٹ of doing uh, stuff.. Con & Rain went to play مزید poker.

Con: I'll let آپ play this time.
Rain: I don't know if I can win.
Con: Nonsense, آپ hate losing right?
Rain: Right.
Con: So why can't آپ win?
Rain: Fine, I'll do it. *sits at table*
Waiter: Can I get anypony something?
Con: I'll have a milkshake, stirred, not shaken.
Waiter: Very well.
Tara: Excuse me sir.
Con: What do آپ want?
Tara: I was wondering if آپ could help me with something.
Con: No *walks back to table*
Dealer: Hey, is there somepony named Con Mane?
Con: That's me, why?
Dealer: Someone called, and کہا he...
continue reading...
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My Name Is Slash...
I lived in Canterlot... But my mother died and I needed to اقدام to Ponyville... to my dad... Im not normal 15 years old Stalion... Im a detective... I wantet to be detective because of.... one thing...

Year 1995 - Dream World

White Stalion - *have چھری in one hoof and Mare in another hoof* HAHAHA! I WILL SAVE HER!
Police - Stop it! What do آپ want
Stalion - my god...
Mare - w-what the hell where we are
Slash Mom - ...
Slash - ugh...
Police - What آپ want?
White Stalion - hahaha... hahahahaha...
Police - ...
White Stalion - HAHAHAHAHAHA I WILL SAVE HER~!!! I WILL SAVE آپ ALL!!!
Detective...
continue reading...
Rollercoaster of emotions nngh ;-;
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Source: DeviantArt
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Germans, and rednecks, unite!
video
my
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قوس قزح dash
is
fluttershy
my little ٹٹو
my little ٹٹو friendship is magic
اندازی حرکت
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
posted by karinabrony
Silver Tune, Black Rose, and Nocturnal Mirage were cleaning the cafeteria. It was a mess everywhere. Silver Tune groaned. Ponies threw food on the ground and threw trash on the ground. They were done cleaning after a while. "So, should we go get the decorations right-" Silver Tune was cut off سے طرف کی Coffee Creme, Shredder, and Nikki going inside the cafeteria. "Oh, ارے guys! We were about to start decorating. Do آپ want to join?" Nocturnal Mirage said. "Sure, we can help." Shredder said. "OK, Nikki and Nocturnal Mirage can go get the decorations. Shredder and I can put them up on the walls. Silver...
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The fight for Canterlot is getting intense. Griffons are outnumbering us, but we won't go down without a fight.

Sean: applejack کی, اپپلیجاک watch our six. *shoots machine gun at griffons*
Applejack: They're all over the place!
Pinkie Pie: I need مزید ammo!
Sean: Just take my gun I got another one.
griffons: STOP! We have آپ surronded. Ok hedgehog, take us to San Franciscolt.
Sean: And why should I?
griffon: TAKE US TO SAN FRANCISCOLT!
Sean: Chaos Control

Little did the griffons know that we ended up in a different place then they were looking for.

griffon: Cut the unicorns horns.
other griffons: *cut off Twilight,...
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added by purplevampire
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