What one thing have آپ not done that آپ really want to do? What is holding آپ back?

Write a gothic novel.
I am holding myself back-
fear
lack of confidence
and the lack of inspiration to find out proper know how procedures and places of contact.

I want to travel مزید than anything in the world. Currently, the only obstacle that is keeping me from fulfilling this desire, is money.

I really want to murder a specific person...or people actually. What is holding me back? Legal consequences/lack of a deathnote...