Can i get someone's opinion PLEASE

Okay I've written a story but can someone tell em if they like the story line.
A girl is دیا a ہار سے طرف کی a gypsy while travelling with her family, and they find a stray dog. While driving her family has a car crash. She and the dog survive. She is taken to the hospital and while there she dicovers she can read minds and travel to a differnt world in her sleep. She figures out the ہار is helping her with this....jeez that was a long explanation. If آپ want a better idea, some of it is گیا کیا پوسٹ on here under the name Alyria. Okay I'm going to stop talking now =)
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IF آپ want to read it just type in Alyria in the تلاش box and it should come up
Free_Spirit posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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It's not something I'm particularly interested in, however, آپ have a good story on your hands. Work on your grammar, and آپ may have مزید potential than آپ could imagine. Add some مزید detail, it's very vaguely described in your intro, and the story's a bit hard to grasp the concept without rereading.
j1edwardcullen7 posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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cool thanks for the critism, alot of people don't give critism afraid of hurting people. And we might run into a few grammar problems =)
Free_Spirit posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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oh and I'll also desrcibe it مزید for people. Thanks
Free_Spirit posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
 Free_Spirit posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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lilred96 said:
yeah sure i would love too read مزید but can آپ send me a link to the first chap?
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
sweet_n_silly said:
i think it sounds pretty good
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
Aisuanime said:
Sounds good, and unique.
Post the سوال on the writing club and a lot of people would view and answer X)
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
j1edwardcullen7 said:
My answer's a تبصرہ ^.
Mine's similar. It's about a girl who died twice and is now like the grim reaper, where she claims lives in her sleep, سے طرف کی becoming the person - and doesn't know how to control it. :D
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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cool can i have a link to your story?
lilred96 posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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