Pls answer!

What do آپ think about my story? is there anything I should change? Here's the link: link
 misscrazel posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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dqwert said:
wonderful!!!!!!!!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Thanks!
misscrazel posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
EgoMouse said:
One thing I hate about reading fiction, is when there's too many mystical creatures and not knowing much about it. Then whenever the name comes up, it flies pass the mind because of the lack of connection.
Anyhow, its only a prologue. I would probably provide some reference sheets to go along with it so there's a sense of connection. Unless آپ want viewers to imagine how the characters look. I'm not that type though. I would completely pass reading it.
Otherwise, I like the writing.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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There are two other parts in the prologue to explain all that and I'll try to add مزید in that part too.
misscrazel posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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