Im sorry if this has been گیا کیا پوسٹ before
If not, do not give me credit
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours سے طرف کی hooking a camcorder کی, camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."
17. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors آپ are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster کے, holster, قبور for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying مزید any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over سے طرف کی clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink کارتوس, ٹونٹا across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that آپ "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork scratchings with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train اگلے Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly آپ can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five منٹ before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints سے طرف کی the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of مالٹا, نارنگی traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone آپ meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do آپ hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address آپ as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's ماؤس is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture سے طرف کی tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that آپ don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" یا the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. Like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra نشست for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their جوابات in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim آپ can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of February.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
If not, do not give me credit
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours سے طرف کی hooking a camcorder کی, camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."
17. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors آپ are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster کے, holster, قبور for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying مزید any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over سے طرف کی clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink کارتوس, ٹونٹا across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that آپ "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork scratchings with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train اگلے Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly آپ can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five منٹ before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints سے طرف کی the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of مالٹا, نارنگی traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone آپ meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do آپ hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address آپ as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's ماؤس is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture سے طرف کی tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that آپ don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" یا the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. Like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra نشست for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their جوابات in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim آپ can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of February.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
from the internet :)
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds آپ of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his ہوم adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he جوابات he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds آپ of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his ہوم adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he جوابات he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying random things until u cry laughing
5. continue reading this
6. Walk up to siblings and say random things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up جے leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add random people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying random things until u cry laughing
5. continue reading this
6. Walk up to siblings and say random things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up جے leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add random people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
okay, on my 5 completely random things to do...
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as آپ can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as آپ can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend آپ try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as آپ can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as آپ can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend آپ try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
The سب, سب سے اوپر six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as آپ have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command یا File Name" is about as informative as
"If آپ don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as آپ make a commitment to one, آپ find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as آپ have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command یا File Name" is about as informative as
"If آپ don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as آپ make a commitment to one, آپ find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
1.everyone around آپ has an attitude problem
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything آپ say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive آپ crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and آپ just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to مککا, عجیب الخلقت someone without a reason
12.if آپ start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if آپ were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give آپ 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so آپ know*
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything آپ say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive آپ crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and آپ just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to مککا, عجیب الخلقت someone without a reason
12.if آپ start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if آپ were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give آپ 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so آپ know*