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posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I lost my phone, can آپ call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!

6.don't آپ hate it when you're texting and laying on your back and
your phone decides to be a ninja, slips through your fingers, and attacks your face!

7.Robin ڈاکو, ہڈ was a thief, Mario gets high off of Mushrooms, Snow White lived with 7 men,
Sleeping Beauty always slept in, and our parents wonder why WE are bad!

8. In my will, I'm giving $50 to anyone who wears a Grim Reaper costume
to my funeral and doesn't say a word

9."You know you're too drunk to drive when آپ swerve to miss a tree,
and then realize it was just your air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror."

10.Dares آپ to go outside, throw a rock at your car and yell
"like a good neighbor statefarm is there!"

11.My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity
,I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it

12.Pshhhh I did not fall... The floor looked at me funny
so I used my mad ninja skills to attack

13.My new word for the دن is FOCUS,
when someone irritates آپ tell them 2 FOCUS (F*** Off Cuz Ur Stupid)

14. Just remember, everything happens for a reason.
So when I ذائقہ, مارنا آپ upside the head, remember... I had a reason!

15.Have آپ ever started laughing for no reason
, then started laughing even harder because آپ were laughing for no reason?
I Love those moments.

16.Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas".
The computer told me "ninjas cannot be found"
Well played, ninjas, well played

17.What the voices in my head tell me to do
would get me arrested in all 50 states and 26 countries

18.Stalking is such a strong word
~ I prefer to think of it مزید as 'intense research' on one individual
~ سے طرف کی the way, your missing جراب is under your bed, with me

19.i think my guardian angel is bipolar

20. WARNING: I have officially been left unsupervised.
I take no responsibility for what may happen in the اگلے few hours.

21.I didn't trip,
I... I was... uh... just... uh... checking the gravity!
Yeah! Just so آپ know, it's all good, it still works.

22. I dare someone to kidnap me
..as soon as my meds wear off..they'll pay me to leave!

23.i wonder if its bad when I'm talking to myself
and I'm not even listening

24. I'm going out to look for myself,
if آپ see me before i return,
please tell myself to call me so i know where i am.

25.I know what your doing,I'm watching u do this,
if your wondering what your doing i would know,wanna know what your doing?
آپ reading my status آپ stalker!

26.This سال I'm using big words to sound smart...
Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence.

27.Y'know those signs آپ see in towns that say,
"Drive careful, we love our children".
DUH, you're not gonna see a sign that says, "GUN IT, WE'LL MAKE MORE!"

28. No officer, I did not hit her, I simply Fist Pumped her face!

29. I like throwing Skittles at people and shouting TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
but it's مزید fun to throw tacos at people yelling '
THINK OUTSIDE THE BUN!!

30.I love to stand in line at ATM machines,
and when people put in their PIN, I yell GOT IT then run away

31. Like a weird neighbor, stalkers are there!

32.Some people were dropped as a baby
. آپ were clearly thrown at a wall. Then feed a bottle of wacko-o juice!

33.Do آپ ever find yourself really bored so آپ go on Facebook
yet آپ find that there is nothing to do except refresh the page until something new pops up?

34.OK think of a number. Add 12 to the number. Subtract 2. Divide that number سے طرف کی 5. Add 20. Did آپ get 12? Neither did I.
I just wanted to see if آپ would do it!

35. im going to get a job at walmart as a greeter
and my words of welcome will be "Welcome to freaking walmart! Get ur sh*t and get the hell out!!"

36.Brunette:When I grow up, I'LL GO TO MARS.
Blondie:When I grow up I'LL GO TO THE SUN.
Brunette:But آپ will burn!
Blondie:Don't be stupid, I'll go at night

37.If somebody throws skittles at me and yells "TASTE THE RAINBOW",
I'm gonna throw a 2 liter bottle of Dr.Pepper and yell "TRUST ME I'M THE DOCTOR

38.a few days پہلے I very sternly told the voices in my head to stop talking to me.
Now they are sending me txt mgs say that they r sorry and want to get back2gethr

39.things to do at Walmart: hide behind teddy bears and make evil laughing noises when little kids come by

40.Ever feel like beating someone with a baseball bat to the point of almost unconsciousness, then setting them on fire? No? Just me?

41. I'm not crazy.. don't آپ judge me! Your just jealous cause i get texts from the flying gummy bears and آپ don't!

42.i saw a flying cow yesterday. it was purple and i named him Phillip...i wish the dancing unicorn had seen him but she was too busy laughing at Steve the snake

43. i was sitting there when i got attacked سے طرف کی the purple hedgehogs, neon dragons, and glow-in-the-dark leprechauns that kid-napped the unicorn and سٹرابیری, اسٹرابیری king

44.I have decided to stop pretending and just be that ninja with the magical penguins and dinosaurs and unicorns that everyone KNOWS I am.

45.Have آپ ever tried walking into Walmart and yelling red robin! and seeing how many people say YUM red robin, red robin, come on just say yum!

46. Things to do at Walmart #365: bring یا take a tent, set it up in a camping supplies corner, and camp out for the weekend until they kick آپ out!

47.After watching CSI, Cold case, Law & Order, and all those other educational shows, I'm 99% sure I can make sure nobody notices آپ missing. Just saying...

48.I like to call it doing the world a favor. Homicide is just the technical term

49. i think there's something wrong with my guardian angel.
her wings are black and she's sitting with the devil and laughing hysterically at everything and everyone

50.I got a special care pkg. in the mail. It had duct tape, a meat tenderizer,
a hole مککا, عجیب الخلقت and a note saying " don't get caught"! (sigh) I love my friends!

51.I find myself meeting people who give me the honor of thinking up new words... Dipshidiot! (dip-shid-iot)

52.backwards this read آپ making am i why exactly is that, never? آپ to nice been ever I have when since (now read it backwards)

53.What happens in an exam : Tik tok , Mind block , Pen stop , Eye pop , Full shock , Jaw drop , Time up , No Luck

54. O I dare آپ to walk up to any officer and say:
I didnt do it I didnt kill her, the assassination wasnt part of the plan.' Then run fast! I bet they'll chase u

55.I'm bored & in need of some adventure. I say we get drunk, get stupid, get a stick, go poke something with teeth and see if we can outrun it.

56.Why do people always think my دوستوں and I are high? WE'RE NOT ON DRUGS! We're just crazy, and loud, and random, and scooby doo (but that's a different story)

57. Smile people will wonder what your up to.But grin like crazy and they will want to know what the hell آپ just did

58.Isn't it funny how everyone thinks they are the normal one in their family?

59.For Sale! One used alarm clock. damn thing rings when I am trying to sleep.

60. im on my way to Walmart to take the "try me" stickers off the noise making toys and stick them on condom boxes.
What is an icon? An شبیہ is not merely a square-sized edited image. It has to be 200x200 pixels یا smaller. But how to make it in the right size? There are free websites that allow us to resize it properly. In this tutorial, I'm using 'picresize' website to assist me. Here are the 5 easy steps to make it 200x200 px. Hope this مضمون will help you!


1. First of all, type www.picresize.com.





2. Click 'Browse' to select your picture.





3. Click 'Quick resize' after آپ choose your picture.





4. In 'Make my picture' option, choose 'Custom Size' and type '200' in both width and height.






5. Finally, click 'I'm Done, Quick Resize My Picture! and your شبیہ is now 200x200 px...





...and DOWNLOAD it!





Comparison between a square image and an icon.

 'Let me ask something, Fabrice. Does THAT, looks like THIS to you?!'
'Let me ask something, Fabrice. Does THAT, looks like THIS to you?!'
Expanded on from a Tumblr post I saw.

Kids, there's no such thing as an opposite gender یا sex. That belief is fucking toxic.

The phrases imply there are only two genders and only two sexes. That's very very very very wrong - take it from me, a nonbinary kid who doesn't identify as fully a girl یا a boy.

'Cause look, there are boys and there are girls. Most people are like that. But آپ can also be neither a boy nor a girl. یا آپ can be a little of both. یا something else entirely. There aren't just two genders and being nonbinary is probably a little مزید common than آپ think.

And there aren't...
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(This is a new series where I negatively review classic stories. And yes, I do like this story and I will like all the others I will do in the future, but I just thought this was a fun idea so... There آپ go.)

So I'm pretty sure سے طرف کی now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a بھیڑیا and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)

BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing...
continue reading...
posted by yamishadow2001
(Note: I will swear i might rage a bit but B-E-A-R with me get it? No okay...)

Story: آپ are playing as a security guard to work the night shift from 12 AM-6 AM your goal try to survive the night with a certain amount of power without getting killed for 5 nights... یا 7 we will get to that in a منٹ and who is trying kill apparently "Kid Friendly" animtronics that we will also get to in a منٹ as well so that is the story pretty much.

Characters: The characters are آپ of course. Troll: We all know that dumbass hur hur hur! Oh shut up!*clears throat* as I was saying there is the phone guy...
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posted by lexidude92
Everyone is sitting on a سوفی, لٹانا (being bored)

Libra: What's on on tv?
Virgo: Nothing right now, just keep on daydreaming...
Cancer: THERE'S NOTHING TO DREAM ABOUT!!
Leo: I agree with Cancer, I'm bored, let's watch some tv یا go outside to get some fresh air.
Sagittarius: I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Leo.
Aries: usually, there is no fresh air outside.
Leo: No, actually, آپ can't see how fresh the air is out there.
Sagittarius: What?
Leo: *sighs*, your deaf, arn't you?
Sagittarius: No.
Aquarius: I'd listen to some songs...
Leo: nah, I'm fine.
Virgo: at 4:30 we can watch tv.
Leo: why?
Virgo: because....
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posted by BlondLionEzel
Out in the darkness, someone is rending the silence
Awakening this planet from its sleep
Who is it?

Look, evil spirits are right before you
There's nowhere to run, so take 'em straight on!
Someone tells me to erase my "worries" and "fear"
We reconstruct our minds
Clench your fists strongly
Believe in the bonds between us
And fight!

So all I can do
And all آپ can do
Is spread your wings and transform
Take the anger piercing your دل and turn it into strength
Now all I can do
And all آپ can do
Is shine and transform
To the stage of evolution
Touch and go!

Listen closely! It's a new "beginning"
Why do آپ think...
continue reading...
Dating Version 2.0: Modern Dating

Some of the old ways of dating could be use an upgrade. Welcome 2014 with these new and improved rules!

For most of us, the best--and usually our first--source of our dating advice is our family. We rely on the experiences and wise words of Mom, Sister, and in some cases even Grandmother, for the do's and don'ts of boys and relationships. But as years pass by, it might be time to rule out some of Mom's and Grandma's old (and old-fashioned) rules on dating and come up with reasonable guidelines that appeal to مزید modern minds.

The Old Way:
~Date only boys who...
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posted by uploaded900
For a while, I've been thinking of making an مضمون on my influential celebs and here they are. This فہرست is just on entertainers. I'm not the biggest celebrity person, but these have inspired me in some sort of way and I love them! Instead of putting trashy people and basic bitches (whose names I won't name) on a pedestal, here are some people I'd like to talk about who should get some credit for the great individuals that they are. I'd also like to add that it's just my opinion and I'd love to hear what you've got to say.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

 The Realist
The Realist


Emma Watson
Emma Watson is one...
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Survey reveals سب, سب سے اوپر 50 funniest jokes ever told

[HK]

A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told. Researchers examined مزید than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Source: Onepoll.com

Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had سے طرف کی far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags سے طرف کی Peter Kay and Lee Evans.

Jokes ranged from the legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu' - to ones about wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.

The study was...
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