Looking for a laugh?
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a منٹ یا two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are آپ doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's بیئر up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the مزید interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in بستر with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't آپ sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing اگلے to an open grave, as a boy walked سے طرف کی and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got ہوم from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy lingerie and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards آپ may do anything آپ want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a منٹ یا two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are آپ doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's بیئر up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the مزید interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in بستر with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't آپ sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing اگلے to an open grave, as a boy walked سے طرف کی and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got ہوم from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy lingerie and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards آپ may do anything آپ want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
U guys i need all of your help please?
kay i have 3 سوالات n i need 10 جوابات 4 each please i will need your help?
1st سوال is... if آپ found a wallet if ten thousands dollars in it what would آپ do n why?
2nd سوال is... if آپ could go any where in the world where would u go n why
n my last سوال is... if ur I-Pod یا cell-phone fell in the toilet what would u do n why
please everyone i need ur advise and یا help with this یا else i will get a big fat 0 n my mom doesn`t want me 2 get a big fat 0!
kay i have 3 سوالات n i need 10 جوابات 4 each please i will need your help?
1st سوال is... if آپ found a wallet if ten thousands dollars in it what would آپ do n why?
2nd سوال is... if آپ could go any where in the world where would u go n why
n my last سوال is... if ur I-Pod یا cell-phone fell in the toilet what would u do n why
please everyone i need ur advise and یا help with this یا else i will get a big fat 0 n my mom doesn`t want me 2 get a big fat 0!
This may seem hard to believe, but it's true: Justin Bieber's manager has been arrested for NOT tweeting.
Scott "Scooter" Braun, manager for the tween heartthrob, was arrested on Long Island today on charges of reckless endangerment and criminal nuisance, reports AP.
In November, Braun, 28, took Bieber to a mall appearance in Garden City, N.Y. The crowd of teenage girls became unruly, and police told Braun to announce on Twitter that the event was canceled. Prosecutors say Braun waited 1 1/2 hours before Tweeting -- and the riot got worse. Braun's lawyers say he Tweeted seven منٹ after cops' request.
Meanwhile, Justin tweeted earlier today:
You've got my total support @scooterbraun Wish آپ were here in Chicago with us #FreeScooter
Scott "Scooter" Braun, manager for the tween heartthrob, was arrested on Long Island today on charges of reckless endangerment and criminal nuisance, reports AP.
In November, Braun, 28, took Bieber to a mall appearance in Garden City, N.Y. The crowd of teenage girls became unruly, and police told Braun to announce on Twitter that the event was canceled. Prosecutors say Braun waited 1 1/2 hours before Tweeting -- and the riot got worse. Braun's lawyers say he Tweeted seven منٹ after cops' request.
Meanwhile, Justin tweeted earlier today:
You've got my total support @scooterbraun Wish آپ were here in Chicago with us #FreeScooter