What Being a Retard Online can do for You
Being a retard online will bring آپ riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: آپ crave attention, آپ absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, آپ may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because سے طرف کی being a retard online آپ can get all the attention آپ need for a small fee.
Poor Literacy is Kool!
If آپ want to be a retard آپ must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME! - note how we must yell EXTREME! یا write it in full capitals, this emphasizes our commitment to being retarded. Also, a use of hyperpunctuation is recommended, for example, instead of NO U! write NO U!!!!11!!111!1!!11!!11! Note the uses of 1's adds the effect of retardedness, as it looks like آپ can't even use a keyboard properly, without bursting into some kind of spastic fit. Now enough of that foolishness, once آپ have learnt that everything must be EXTREME! آپ must اقدام on to the art-form of butchering the English language until it is nothing but a bunch of garbage: To do this آپ need to practice hard at being a retard and misspell as many words as آپ can, even simply words like "you" and "I" must be warped - we suggest using "U" یا "joO" - note that phrases such as "yoou" یا "ebil" are a little too advanced for آپ at this stage but with practice آپ can master these مزید advanced moves.
Practice Your 1337 Skillz
In order to practice your L33T Skillz, try going on a multiplayer FPS game, such as Team Fortress 2. Of course, being the retard that آپ are, آپ will fail epicly. (Epicily. What the hell?) and have a kill to death ratio of 1:9000.1. In spite of this, pretend آپ are good سے طرف کی making up pathetic excuses, such as 'This C0mput3r SUX!'
Learn to be Offensive
To be a retard online آپ must become one with the Force and master the ancient art of offence - in short آپ should always make a point of being an asshole to everyone, because its a well-known fact internet tough-guys get lots of دوستوں and free sex. If آپ want to get serious on being offensive be sure to brush up on your knowledge of "yo momma" jokes and "yo so ugly" quotes - these could mean the difference between sounding like a true retard یا actually being witty, if آپ find yourself in danger of actually being witty یا somewhat humorous in your attempts at being a retard simply say something about Chuck Norris, Mr T یا Rick Astley and آپ will become instant-retard.
Trolling for Dummies
1. Find idiot
2. Make idiot mad
3. Idiot says insult
4. آپ say "NO YOU!"
5. ??????????????????????????????
6. RECESSION!
Spamming 101
Contrary to common thought spamming is a delicate and time-consuming lifestyle, if آپ wish to go down this path of retardness please be aware that آپ may not be prepared for the massive amount of brainpower required for such a complex task - however if آپ want to attempt this tricky feat here is the know-how. First آپ must spam a lot, سے طرف کی which we mean آپ must spam until آپ can spam no مزید - spam until آپ bleed - spam like crazy - spam random, nonsensical garbage - spam until آپ get people saying "stop spamming" - spam until your IP is banned and آپ can spam no مزید -
Spam!
SPAM!
SPAM!!!
SPAM!!!!!!!!!!
Caps Lock
IS YER FRIEND.
Alt-F4
Press these magic buttons on your keyboard now and آپ will have completed the course of being a retard online - and are now free to bask in the glory this achievement shall earn آپ with your friends.
Being a retard online will bring آپ riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: آپ crave attention, آپ absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, آپ may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because سے طرف کی being a retard online آپ can get all the attention آپ need for a small fee.
Poor Literacy is Kool!
If آپ want to be a retard آپ must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME! - note how we must yell EXTREME! یا write it in full capitals, this emphasizes our commitment to being retarded. Also, a use of hyperpunctuation is recommended, for example, instead of NO U! write NO U!!!!11!!111!1!!11!!11! Note the uses of 1's adds the effect of retardedness, as it looks like آپ can't even use a keyboard properly, without bursting into some kind of spastic fit. Now enough of that foolishness, once آپ have learnt that everything must be EXTREME! آپ must اقدام on to the art-form of butchering the English language until it is nothing but a bunch of garbage: To do this آپ need to practice hard at being a retard and misspell as many words as آپ can, even simply words like "you" and "I" must be warped - we suggest using "U" یا "joO" - note that phrases such as "yoou" یا "ebil" are a little too advanced for آپ at this stage but with practice آپ can master these مزید advanced moves.
Practice Your 1337 Skillz
In order to practice your L33T Skillz, try going on a multiplayer FPS game, such as Team Fortress 2. Of course, being the retard that آپ are, آپ will fail epicly. (Epicily. What the hell?) and have a kill to death ratio of 1:9000.1. In spite of this, pretend آپ are good سے طرف کی making up pathetic excuses, such as 'This C0mput3r SUX!'
Learn to be Offensive
To be a retard online آپ must become one with the Force and master the ancient art of offence - in short آپ should always make a point of being an asshole to everyone, because its a well-known fact internet tough-guys get lots of دوستوں and free sex. If آپ want to get serious on being offensive be sure to brush up on your knowledge of "yo momma" jokes and "yo so ugly" quotes - these could mean the difference between sounding like a true retard یا actually being witty, if آپ find yourself in danger of actually being witty یا somewhat humorous in your attempts at being a retard simply say something about Chuck Norris, Mr T یا Rick Astley and آپ will become instant-retard.
Trolling for Dummies
1. Find idiot
2. Make idiot mad
3. Idiot says insult
4. آپ say "NO YOU!"
5. ??????????????????????????????
6. RECESSION!
Spamming 101
Contrary to common thought spamming is a delicate and time-consuming lifestyle, if آپ wish to go down this path of retardness please be aware that آپ may not be prepared for the massive amount of brainpower required for such a complex task - however if آپ want to attempt this tricky feat here is the know-how. First آپ must spam a lot, سے طرف کی which we mean آپ must spam until آپ can spam no مزید - spam until آپ bleed - spam like crazy - spam random, nonsensical garbage - spam until آپ get people saying "stop spamming" - spam until your IP is banned and آپ can spam no مزید -
Spam!
SPAM!
SPAM!!!
SPAM!!!!!!!!!!
Caps Lock
IS YER FRIEND.
Alt-F4
Press these magic buttons on your keyboard now and آپ will have completed the course of being a retard online - and are now free to bask in the glory this achievement shall earn آپ with your friends.