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I'm stupid.I'm 18 and I'm STILL afraid of tooth fairies.....my cousin(Not ANDY!),Edricle(Ed-ric.cle) use to tell me funny nonsense until one دن he came up with this idea the scare me.THE TOOOOOOOOOOTH FAIRY!!!One دن when I was watching the TV,he came up to me and said"hey,do u know why do tooth fairies take yr teeth?" I asked"why?"so he said"They take yr teeth and use super glue and glue them together to make dentures for OLD PEOPLE!!!" that kinda freaked me out and whenever I loose a teeth,I'll burry it in the ground at the backyard where my dad does his planting.That's when my dad found a whole bunch of teeth burried in the ground......XD I still can't believe that I really did that.And yes,I was in big trouble until I told my dad what Ed(Edricle) کہا to me on that day......Ed should be married now.I'm gonna tell his kids this joke and then they'll try to get rid of their fallen-out teeth and see what they'll said.Lemme guess...I think Maria would say "DAD!!UNcLE TERRY کہا THAT TOOTH FAIRIES TAKE OUR TEETH AND MAKE DENTURES FOR OLD PEOPLE!!!!" that BIG trouble so I'm gonna have to get ready for some yelling XD!!! Kline this joke SO much that I thought about sharing it to u people it there!!!XD

~THE END~
posted by moodystuff449
Thing are going round and round my head, یا maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, یا maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal مزید hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...
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posted by Blackteardrops
*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD


If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would تاریخ Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd kiss who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never تاریخ a girl
I swear I'd still love men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When آپ watch a brand new one
I’d invite my دوستوں over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...
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brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok آپ go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door گھنٹی, بیل rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will آپ give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
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posted by greenstergirl
Chapter one
Okay this is a really random stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, آپ have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” کہا my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find مزید crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? آپ are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No آپ are a robot times 1000000.


User: No آپ are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and آپ are a robot.


User: User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. آپ are the robot here.

User: User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... آپ computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So آپ admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




Lol yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do آپ hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be ہوم for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and آگ کے, آگ hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: آپ better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell آپ why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired سے طرف کی their family and دوستوں and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented سے طرف کی the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The سیکنڈ is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The کنسرٹ Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 گھنٹہ Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There Singing I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're نشست Ooh K Then ڈریک Sad آپ Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There ڈریک Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The شائقین شائقین Was Singing Along Giving Him Flowers Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For Reading And You're Comments
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's دن together. Emily had cooked a stupid رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا and they ate on a log سے طرف کی candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by EllentheStrange
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.

1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that آپ have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask سوالات to a magic 8 ball and take the جوابات seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when آپ find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when آپ see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a random person!
raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp سیب, ایپل strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
Chapter 3 The cult


“What are آپ on about?” I was shaking with anger. How dare she say what I am and what I'm not “Stuff you” I wanted to say much worse. I walked away from her. Suddenly James was in front of me, smirking at me then he slowly vanished. I had to get out of here. سے طرف کی the time I come back it will be too late.

I was walking down the empty سٹریٹ, گلی the sun had set already. How long have I been walking for? I did not even feel tired. Some how I ended up at the park... thinking of Hannah, I walked past where it all happened Hannah screams echoed inside my head. I felt nothing...
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posted by justinfangrrl
Ya' know how everybody thinks fairytales and magic aren't real? Well, I beleive in them!
I'm not talking about santa clause, tooth fairy and easter bunny kinda stuff... I mean like ghosts, unicorns and things of that sort.

Everybody in my family has seen SOMETHING. and don't call me crazy. =(

Why is it so inconceivable that these things can't exist? Why is it so hard to believe that a big hairy man walks around in the woods? It could be like a woodland ape!

What's wrong with thinking unicorns are real???! Who کہا they have to have magical powers? It's pretty much just a beautiful horse...
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Okay so my twin sister Sassikassi is annoying and this is what she does to me and other people!
*She throws food at me
*She plays baseball with my sandwiches
*She asks stupid سوالات (ex: What do لائبریری cards do? btw she does not have any medical condition for that I think she trys to embarass me)
*She trys to embarass me
*She tells my secrets to everyone
*She beats me up
*Shes a crybaby I cant remember a دن when she hasnt burst into tears
*She gets me into trouble
*She yells at me for no reason
*Basicly she is not who آپ think she is
posted by MOLLYMAYJR
ok so i went to a football game last friday and watched the cheerleaders then walked off! but what i did see was that well they all looked really pretty but never judge a book سے طرف کی its cover so i am just gonna say it! they all looked stuckup! but arent they all?? my cousin whose a 10th grader and says the cheerleaders at her school r stuck up snotss!!! and so r the ones at mine! so if u feel my pain about cheerleaders یا u r 1 and there r stuck up snobs on ur squad then id love to hear ur thoughts!!
Your Mother also has her sentence she says and repeats it all the time?

Let us share ...

1. We don't say "Yuck."
2. I'm tired of repeating the same thing a hundred times.
3. I'm not your maid.
4. It's not over soon this comedy?
5. Stop sniffing blow your nose.
6. I have not heard the magic word.
7. آپ don't say "I do not like" آپ have not even tasted.
8. What we say to Mom?
9. File in your room!
10. Hurry up, you'll be late!
11. Don't wad of bread.
12. What are these grades?
13. Eat: it's full of vitamins.
14. But leave them alone!
15. Because it's like that, that's all.
16. Go on, shoo!
17. Pee, teeth and...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
When I went to see Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me, the previews were the same. And all the فلمیں that the previews were advertising looked terrible. Well, Tangled looks OK, and Megamind seems worth it, but Smurf and Kitty Galore look like an insult to my intelligence. Maybe I'm just taking these too seriously, but still. Previews are supposed to make their فلمیں look GOOD.

The trailer that really got to me was Alpha and Omega. If آپ haven't seen it, look it up on Youtube. I know آپ shouldn't judge a movie سے طرف کی it's, uh, trailer, but this seems like it's going to be freakin' horrible.
Wayyy...
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posted by jessicamc26
Two guys were picked up سے طرف کی the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give آپ a سیکنڈ chance rather than jail time. I want آپ to go out this weekend and try to دکھائیں others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see آپ back in court Monday."


Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge کہا to the first one,

"How did آپ do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did آپ tell them?"

"I...
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posted by MileySelena982
Never mind the haters. All they do is break آپ down. Build yourself up and ignore them. Don't they look so small from up here?

When they make a nasty comment, pretend they aren't there. They'll never get to آپ that way. When they kick and scream at other peoples hating تبصرے about them, don't they look silly?

When they ask why آپ like what آپ do, ask them why they like what they like. "How's it feel, huh?"

Hater will say many things, some the probably don't mean. But, if someone does hate, ask them, "Why? Why do آپ do it? Do آپ have nothing else to do with your life?" Just ignore them, they hate that. All the want is attention. And whatever آپ do, don't give it to them.

-JC