This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern دن issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Love یا hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years پہلے were blacks دیا the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married یا adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube یا in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, یا in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in love should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no مزید discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of advice is welcome, as long as آپ aren't telling me to jump off a cliff یا anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Love یا hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years پہلے were blacks دیا the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married یا adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube یا in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, یا in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in love should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no مزید discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of advice is welcome, as long as آپ aren't telling me to jump off a cliff یا anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
girl 1: OMFG did u hear dat mr scalleywag got fired
girl 2: yah...do u think we should make him a good-bye card???????
girl 1: HECK NO
girl 2: y?????
girl 1: remeber, wat he made us do
girl 2: oh yah.......wait wat???????
girl 1: he made us do really hard pop-quizes, remeber
girl 2: no dat waz ms perrywinkle
girl 1: oh yah.....i know lets make mr scalleywag a good-bye card
girl 2: i just.......never mind
girl 1: sooooo u will come 2 my place nd we will make it
girl 2: k, ماند, خلوت خانہ tomorrow we will bring it to skool
girl 1: y
girl 2: so everyone can sign it and ماند, خلوت خانہ we will mail it 2 mr scalleywag
girl 1: k, sooo i'll come over 2 ur house
gir 2: i thought i waz coming 2 ur house
girl 1: nah we will make it at ur house because u hav better art stuff dan me :)
girl 2: k bye :)
girl 1: bye :)
girl 2: yah...do u think we should make him a good-bye card???????
girl 1: HECK NO
girl 2: y?????
girl 1: remeber, wat he made us do
girl 2: oh yah.......wait wat???????
girl 1: he made us do really hard pop-quizes, remeber
girl 2: no dat waz ms perrywinkle
girl 1: oh yah.....i know lets make mr scalleywag a good-bye card
girl 2: i just.......never mind
girl 1: sooooo u will come 2 my place nd we will make it
girl 2: k, ماند, خلوت خانہ tomorrow we will bring it to skool
girl 1: y
girl 2: so everyone can sign it and ماند, خلوت خانہ we will mail it 2 mr scalleywag
girl 1: k, sooo i'll come over 2 ur house
gir 2: i thought i waz coming 2 ur house
girl 1: nah we will make it at ur house because u hav better art stuff dan me :)
girl 2: k bye :)
girl 1: bye :)
In haloween people are supposed to dress up in scary costumes... and well scare someone!
were I live, I didn't find anything scary.
Tinkerbell.... NOT SCARY princesses......NOT SCARY
hot dogs wearing iron man masks...NOT SCARY
fat sumo wrestelers.....maybe a little bit....
NOT SCARY, آپ get the point. Why couldn't they have at least one person who has a arm that comes of when آپ touch it.but,when I was watching my little brother trick یا treat I saw this man.... He was in a wheelchair... saying ders candy over there!, In this weird voice that reminded me of Michal Jackson! Then out of no where he fell out of his wheel chair and said,Yah want to shake my
hand?, with his black teeth open wide....then, I steped back a few (dozen) feet with my eyes
open wide. that was the only thing on haloween that actually scared me.
were I live, I didn't find anything scary.
Tinkerbell.... NOT SCARY princesses......NOT SCARY
hot dogs wearing iron man masks...NOT SCARY
fat sumo wrestelers.....maybe a little bit....
NOT SCARY, آپ get the point. Why couldn't they have at least one person who has a arm that comes of when آپ touch it.but,when I was watching my little brother trick یا treat I saw this man.... He was in a wheelchair... saying ders candy over there!, In this weird voice that reminded me of Michal Jackson! Then out of no where he fell out of his wheel chair and said,Yah want to shake my
hand?, with his black teeth open wide....then, I steped back a few (dozen) feet with my eyes
open wide. that was the only thing on haloween that actually scared me.
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which ماہ do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
Once again, dont cheat, but here are the answers:
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2) Ecuador.
3) From بھیڑوں, بھیڑ and horses.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5) گلہری, جائے وقوع fur.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the تخت in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
9) New Zealand.
10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which ماہ do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
Once again, dont cheat, but here are the answers:
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2) Ecuador.
3) From بھیڑوں, بھیڑ and horses.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5) گلہری, جائے وقوع fur.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the تخت in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
9) New Zealand.
10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.
listen guys آپ all know me as pizzafan and I was and I wanna say I am so sorry to everybody on hurt on this site I کہا horrible things and I was a bully and id like forgiveness and fun on here and id like a سیکنڈ chance on here again and I am sorry to everybody if آپ don't forgive me I understand and I wont threaten آپ یا go after آپ if آپ don't don't worry
but if آپ do forgive me آپ wont regret it I promise
please forgive
also don't رپورٹ me please just read the مضمون and don't رپورٹ me I wont be mean ever again
if آپ guys forgive me awesome if آپ don't then oh well
but I still would like to say im sorry to all
but if آپ do forgive me آپ wont regret it I promise
please forgive
also don't رپورٹ me please just read the مضمون and don't رپورٹ me I wont be mean ever again
if آپ guys forgive me awesome if آپ don't then oh well
but I still would like to say im sorry to all
--I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
--I used to come here all the time with my ex.
--I never کہا آپ NEED a nose job. I just کہا it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
--Could آپ excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
---I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have دیا someone like آپ a سیکنڈ look.
--And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
--It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I تاریخ just won't be as smart as I am.
lol
--I used to come here all the time with my ex.
--I never کہا آپ NEED a nose job. I just کہا it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
--Could آپ excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
---I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have دیا someone like آپ a سیکنڈ look.
--And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
--It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I تاریخ just won't be as smart as I am.
lol