I found this hilarious مضمون on pcworld.com
Don't know who the مصنف is, but he's funny.
1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.
2. It's ایوارڈز Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.
3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my credit card so i put it in the cd rom and it got stuck, how do i get it out?? I tryed toothpics but lost them in the process?? also the drive is making noises"
Oh, that's normal. Your system is just waiting for آپ to pay the required $1 processing fee for scanning the card. Simply fold a greenback into a tiny square and insert it into any USB port.
4. Mousin' Around
"My ماؤس stop working every time i lift it up from the میز, جدول why is this? this is not just OS .i have linux and vista both same thing so its not drivers"
Yeah, no big deal there, either: Insert your credit card into the CD-ROM drive and tell your computer--slowly and distinctly--that آپ need the Air ماؤس 3000 upgrade. You'll be good in no time.
5. Technical Difficulties
"I've been asked to write an application in my own handwriting....? is there a computer programme that will do this for me? they also want original ideas. do آپ know any?"
This reminds me of a letter to the editor I once read years ago: "Are there any undiscovered islands left in the world?" The response: "Not that we know of."
6. It's All in the Details
"I have an assignment about computer.. What is unimportant details about computer?"
Wait a minute--does this assignment also require original ideas?
7. Unknown Nuptials
"Am i married in any state? have i been divorced?"
I'll take "questions asked after a night in Vegas" for $500, Alex.
8. A Sticky Subject
"Where can i buy a really big jar of مونگفلی, مونگ پھلی butter?"
If this is from the same guy who asked the گزشتہ question, I'm getting concerned.
9. Fruit Frets
"I have ate two whole tangerines in about two hours what will happen to me?"
That all depends on whether آپ swallowed any seeds. If آپ did, be very careful not to eat any dirt یا drink any water for the اگلے two weeks.
10. Fat Chance
"How do i become obese fast? I want to look good سے طرف کی the end of the year."
You can start سے طرف کی eating two tangerines in two hours. Then run around in circles until آپ figure out what "obese" means.
11. Cantaloupe Hunting
"I thought cantelope was an animal!? i always thought that a cantaloupe was that animal that has the horns and they live in Arizona and stuff, but i was shopping for groceries yesterday and i saw they had cantaloupe meat on sale. so i was like yeah sure i'll try it, but what i saw, wasn't a cantaloupe. it was some white and green fruit thing! whats up with this?"
The store is guilty of mislabeling. The term it was looking for is "jackalope"--which is a پار, صلیب between a jackfruit and a manila envelope.
12. Hey, Babby
"How is babby formed????? how girl get pragnent?"
On the one hand, I kind of hope آپ never figure it out. On the other, maybe your parents don't know either--and it obviously didn't stop them.
13. An Academic Inquiry
"Why are there school? is a point to it?"
There are school so آپ can learn how is babby formed, silly.
14. Canine Law
"Is it illegal to name a dog after a movie?"
Only if that movie is Air Bud 2. As a practical matter, though, آپ might want to avoid calling out to your pooch on a crowded bus if آپ decide to name it "Bang Bang You're Dead" یا "I'm Going to Explode."
15. Lost in Space
"What is the best place to ask سوالات online? i mean, یا there any QA فورم like on yahoo یا anything?"
Hmm...a forum-like place to ask سوالات on Yahoo. Nope, haven't heard of anything like that. But if آپ find something, be sure to let us know.
16. Mathematical Matters
"Is there any possible way of making 2+2=5?"
The easiest way is to flip the positions of 4 and 5 on the number line. Another method is to use LSD (Least Sequential Denominators).
17. Sandwich Sensations
"Is it possible to feel like a sandwich?"
Sure. It's called LSD (Lettuce, Succotash, and Dill-pickle). It feels, like, weird...
18. About Those Drugs...
"How do آپ ask a سوال on yahoo answers?"
Hey, don't ask me. I'm still trying to find out if there's a forum-like place to pose سوالات there. Anyone? Anyone?
19. Spelling 101
"How do آپ spell government?"
Most of the time.
20. Turtle Trouble
"I was bitten سے طرف کی a کچھی when i was a young lad, can i still drink مالٹا, نارنگی juice?"
This is why old lads should be barred from Yahoo Answers. Seriously--where do they come up with this stuff?
Don't know who the مصنف is, but he's funny.
1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.
2. It's ایوارڈز Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.
3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my credit card so i put it in the cd rom and it got stuck, how do i get it out?? I tryed toothpics but lost them in the process?? also the drive is making noises"
Oh, that's normal. Your system is just waiting for آپ to pay the required $1 processing fee for scanning the card. Simply fold a greenback into a tiny square and insert it into any USB port.
4. Mousin' Around
"My ماؤس stop working every time i lift it up from the میز, جدول why is this? this is not just OS .i have linux and vista both same thing so its not drivers"
Yeah, no big deal there, either: Insert your credit card into the CD-ROM drive and tell your computer--slowly and distinctly--that آپ need the Air ماؤس 3000 upgrade. You'll be good in no time.
5. Technical Difficulties
"I've been asked to write an application in my own handwriting....? is there a computer programme that will do this for me? they also want original ideas. do آپ know any?"
This reminds me of a letter to the editor I once read years ago: "Are there any undiscovered islands left in the world?" The response: "Not that we know of."
6. It's All in the Details
"I have an assignment about computer.. What is unimportant details about computer?"
Wait a minute--does this assignment also require original ideas?
7. Unknown Nuptials
"Am i married in any state? have i been divorced?"
I'll take "questions asked after a night in Vegas" for $500, Alex.
8. A Sticky Subject
"Where can i buy a really big jar of مونگفلی, مونگ پھلی butter?"
If this is from the same guy who asked the گزشتہ question, I'm getting concerned.
9. Fruit Frets
"I have ate two whole tangerines in about two hours what will happen to me?"
That all depends on whether آپ swallowed any seeds. If آپ did, be very careful not to eat any dirt یا drink any water for the اگلے two weeks.
10. Fat Chance
"How do i become obese fast? I want to look good سے طرف کی the end of the year."
You can start سے طرف کی eating two tangerines in two hours. Then run around in circles until آپ figure out what "obese" means.
11. Cantaloupe Hunting
"I thought cantelope was an animal!? i always thought that a cantaloupe was that animal that has the horns and they live in Arizona and stuff, but i was shopping for groceries yesterday and i saw they had cantaloupe meat on sale. so i was like yeah sure i'll try it, but what i saw, wasn't a cantaloupe. it was some white and green fruit thing! whats up with this?"
The store is guilty of mislabeling. The term it was looking for is "jackalope"--which is a پار, صلیب between a jackfruit and a manila envelope.
12. Hey, Babby
"How is babby formed????? how girl get pragnent?"
On the one hand, I kind of hope آپ never figure it out. On the other, maybe your parents don't know either--and it obviously didn't stop them.
13. An Academic Inquiry
"Why are there school? is a point to it?"
There are school so آپ can learn how is babby formed, silly.
14. Canine Law
"Is it illegal to name a dog after a movie?"
Only if that movie is Air Bud 2. As a practical matter, though, آپ might want to avoid calling out to your pooch on a crowded bus if آپ decide to name it "Bang Bang You're Dead" یا "I'm Going to Explode."
15. Lost in Space
"What is the best place to ask سوالات online? i mean, یا there any QA فورم like on yahoo یا anything?"
Hmm...a forum-like place to ask سوالات on Yahoo. Nope, haven't heard of anything like that. But if آپ find something, be sure to let us know.
16. Mathematical Matters
"Is there any possible way of making 2+2=5?"
The easiest way is to flip the positions of 4 and 5 on the number line. Another method is to use LSD (Least Sequential Denominators).
17. Sandwich Sensations
"Is it possible to feel like a sandwich?"
Sure. It's called LSD (Lettuce, Succotash, and Dill-pickle). It feels, like, weird...
18. About Those Drugs...
"How do آپ ask a سوال on yahoo answers?"
Hey, don't ask me. I'm still trying to find out if there's a forum-like place to pose سوالات there. Anyone? Anyone?
19. Spelling 101
"How do آپ spell government?"
Most of the time.
20. Turtle Trouble
"I was bitten سے طرف کی a کچھی when i was a young lad, can i still drink مالٹا, نارنگی juice?"
This is why old lads should be barred from Yahoo Answers. Seriously--where do they come up with this stuff?
Loling at the fact that I had an easier time typing this than the one for real people! Maybe it's because cartoon characters & عملی حکمت characters can just be drawn in ways that really make them stand out. No less here's the list.
Female
Honorable mentions (in no particular order): Icy, Ming Hua, Ultear & Michiko.
5. Lust
How could I not add Lust onto my فہرست of attractive characters lol? I mean she is Lust after all! Above all my پسندیدہ thing about her appearance is her eyes; those purple snake-like eyes. She also has really pretty lips and lovely dark and wavy hair.
4. Beatrice
Hooray!...
continue reading...
Female
Honorable mentions (in no particular order): Icy, Ming Hua, Ultear & Michiko.
5. Lust
How could I not add Lust onto my فہرست of attractive characters lol? I mean she is Lust after all! Above all my پسندیدہ thing about her appearance is her eyes; those purple snake-like eyes. She also has really pretty lips and lovely dark and wavy hair.
4. Beatrice
Hooray!...
What is an icon? An شبیہ is not merely a square-sized edited image. It has to be 200x200 pixels یا smaller. But how to make it in the right size? There are free websites that allow us to resize it properly. In this tutorial, I'm using 'picresize' website to assist me. Here are the 5 easy steps to make it 200x200 px. Hope this مضمون will help you!
1. First of all, type www.picresize.com.
2. Click 'Browse' to select your picture.
3. Click 'Quick resize' after آپ choose your picture.
4. In 'Make my picture' option, choose 'Custom Size' and type '200' in both width and height.
5. Finally, click 'I'm Done, Quick Resize My Picture! and your شبیہ is now 200x200 px...
...and DOWNLOAD it!
Comparison between a square image and an icon.
1. First of all, type www.picresize.com.
2. Click 'Browse' to select your picture.
3. Click 'Quick resize' after آپ choose your picture.
4. In 'Make my picture' option, choose 'Custom Size' and type '200' in both width and height.
5. Finally, click 'I'm Done, Quick Resize My Picture! and your شبیہ is now 200x200 px...
...and DOWNLOAD it!
Comparison between a square image and an icon.
'Let me ask something, Fabrice. Does THAT, looks like THIS to you?!'
For a while, I've been thinking of making an مضمون on my influential celebs and here they are. This فہرست is just on entertainers. I'm not the biggest celebrity person, but these have inspired me in some sort of way and I love them! Instead of putting trashy people and basic bitches (whose names I won't name) on a pedestal, here are some people I'd like to talk about who should get some credit for the great individuals that they are. I'd also like to add that it's just my opinion and I'd love to hear what you've got to say.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Emma Watson
Emma Watson is one...
continue reading...
HONORABLE MENTIONS
The Realist
Emma Watson
Emma Watson is one...
