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posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx
Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account
Iluvpelon14

Yay
One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental ہوم for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a دائرے, حلقہ like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child is in here cos she got farted on stay away from turtal arses. This can fuck u up for life. The stench of the gas never leaves you. That's why she is insane and is a mental freak. She only eats chips now. And plays with a straw and has races with the straw to see who can shake the quickest. Of corse the retarded spazzek wins each time. All thanks to that zoo, stay away from there, its filthy. But مزید likely all thanks to that turtle, jeez he must be proud. What did he ate? The kid is mental still, sat there shaking her head and eating fuckin chips. مزید chips. مزید chips. Lifes stock of chips. Then plays with her straw and runs at the دیوار thinking she is getting somewhere and see's flying brains flying around and trys to catch them and she also "rides a snail" she is also known as mental jerkins. She also tried to eat an iphone 4 but failed, it didn't digest properly..now it rings from inside her and scares her. Doorbell. Nothing worse. Nothing مزید to this child..jee..sounds like me when I have pancakes. She is always hyper, wow. Kaluri must be my sister..EEEEK..and the term bouncing off the walls is literal. She pysicly bounces of walls. She has one friend.its a tedy that's a headless پینگوئن, پیںگان called flabbs پینگوئن, پیںگان hahahehe.all the children are like this, demented chickens running round the corridoors screaming everytime some کدال, hoe approches them. Spoon. If your not scared yet آپ should be. These children are capable of mass distruction. If the world ends later this سال and your still alive, آپ know how it ended. Poor turtals..wait..NOOOOO XD o.O lolwut.

•they used to do school trips to this place before they realised that they found out that 13 of there students had turned insane.
Oh shit
Hold on
I think I'm insane
No I'm fine

Although being addicted to chips, kaluri can only draw carrots with glasses. Who owns this kid?! Wtf am I going on about?!?!
Haha
Kinda reminds me of one of my دوستوں
....*evil laugh*....
Back to the muthafucka story!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahaahaha
Fuck
XD o.O

Although kaluri does have one human friend. Pokalilly.
...
What آپ don't like the name pokalilly?...
WELL HARD CHEESE آپ THINK OF A NAME FUCKA

*nyan cat music*
Stfu u
*shoots cat*

Pokalilly is a long gone friend. She's underground..somewhere. آپ see she liked moles..so she..*ahem cough cough ha ha*...dug a hole and didn't find her way back out cos the stuid mental کدال, hoe popijerry filled the hole in. So pokalilly lives like a mole..digging tunnels..why doesn't she just dig up آپ ask? Cos she doesn't do up. We don't need to focus on her anyway she's. Your problem she's in the closet that's closest to you!!!! Say hi to her for me

Did I forget to tell you? Kaluri has a demon in her mental heatbox for mental hoes that only she can see. :) what has the world come to seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :•) OMFG that face looks like a snowman!!!!
Yes!! This songs scaring me
Ahhhahahahaha crys
Sometimes I like to lie on the floor and pretend I'm a carrot :D
Whoops wasn't ment to say that :#
Mwahhahaahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahhah evil laugh smog evil laugh hhahhahahahahahahahhaha

OMFG its jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!! on southpark :) hahahahaha I goottt chhoooooooo :D

This is getting randomly out of hand..brb I want a cookie..
Tik tok tik tok
IM BAC- wait I'm changing song IM BACK AND MY COOKIE IS MY BEST FRIEND HEHE IM EATING LAUREN!!!

Well
Ok something needs to happen...
Hgmmm
We now go over to cheesyTOTs332 for a live update on the mental ہوم for mental hoes with mental heatboxs to calm the mental hoes down. Over to آپ cheesyTOTs332

CheesyTOTs332::
Yes thank آپ abby we will now go inside.
*knocks on mental ہوم door, little cute child answers*
Little child: HI IS آپ THE CANDYMAN!!?!!?!!

*boom*

CheesyTOTs332::
Not a good start. *walks in* well as آپ can see its very nice in here, we are in a normal room for now...
*walks into the mental corridoor*
Oh my good god *beep* I'm getting the *beep* out of this *beeeep* place!!!!!!!
Just joken
*approches young lonely child* hello there.

Young child:
Oyajsksaekbiomgkfiogvjghiwoeuivbdfalcowoeribgngwogvibhutrswlckghjelwiogtuvbjslkalfltiwujrtuy jdnfkaslgvkrei
*BOOM*

:3
((That was fun to type))

CheesyTOTs332::
Why do they all blow up?! Well let's go and see kaluri....
I am stood outside kaluri's mental heatbox for mental hoes. Let's knock on her door
*knock knock*
*kaluri answers*
Ohh well arnt آپ cute!

Kaluri: come bla bla come in see my drawflings blablabla meet flabby پینگوئن, پیںگان hahahehe hahahaahahahahahaha bla bla bla prrrrrrbabaaaaaa. Weeee! *points at paper*

CheesyTOTs332::
Isn't she adorbs?!
*looks at paper*
Awww is that your teddy..with..no head..

:3

Kaluri::
Yeah! Flabby پینگوئن, پیںگان hahahehe!!! I chewed his head off then ate it!!
*ringing noise*
Excuse me
*burps and iphone comes out of her mouth*
Hehehehe

CheesyTOTs332::
Oh...
*gets hit سے طرف کی slobber covered flabby پینگوئن, پیںگان hahahehe*
Lovely...

Kaluri::
Me and muma
*shows drawing of 'her' and 'her mum'...sick figures*

CheesyTOTs332::
Oh..that's cut- huh?!

*kaluri puts drawing in her mouth and chews it and spits it back out*

Kaluri::
Whoops..sorry..
*smiles and walks sideways to the دیوار and carrys on walking even tho she is at the wall*

CheesyTOTs332::
So kaluri..how old are آپ sweetheart?

Kaluri:
Ninety eight million five thousand sixty three trillion gazabillion with a snotty nose *sneezy and a different species of snot comes out of her nose*
Hahahahahahahahahhahaahha

Me:
Insane children....ahhhhh

CheesyTOTs332: I have to go now kaluri! Say bye to the world.
*kaluri pulls out shotgun and shoots cheesyTOTs332 and the camera falls on the side*

TECHICAL DIFFECULTIES PLEASE STAND BY!!!!!!!!! YOUR HAMPSTER HAS PROBABLY HAD A MUNCH ON YOUR TV WIRE یا SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT یا THE WEATHER IS BAD یا SOMETHINK REALLY STUPID LIKE THAT GET IT SORTED OUT QUICKlY!!!!!!

what آپ want us to wait for you?

GET BUMMED IT IS EVERY PERSON FOR THEM SELFS!

*camera goes back to kaluri and she is holding up two کتے teddys that she has sewn the ears together on*

Kaluri::
Look at my creation world!! If آپ sew to puppies ears together it can cause head truma's, STD's, explosive dhiaria and a sudden attraction to llama's. I drink torine!!
*drinks torine*
Now I'm pregnant!
Hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

*camera goes off*

Me:
And that was the recen-
*news theme tune*
STOP WAIT NOT YET
*i come back on the screen*
As I was saying its our حالیہ update on kaluri...I don't think we will ever get another update from CheesyTOTs332
Oh well
Now آپ can do it
*news theme tune, screen goes black and me in the background*
ARHHHHHH A SPIDER

*skips to an old granny watching the news show*

Granny:
What they say?

((Skips back to the origenal story))

Oh yeah I forgot to tell آپ that she has a shotgun whoops..oh well آپ will live hopefully!!!!!!!!!

Kaluri loves chips, she is- oh I have already told you? Well its time for the adver-
*news دکھائیں goes off*
ارے I was talking
*adverts come on*

((Advert 1))fudge...fudge...FUDGE...FUUDGE...FUUUUUDGEEE...FUUUUUUUUDGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not fudge
Fudge
On sale now

((Advert two))
Come to mc donalds!!! Its the best on the highway!!!
*person walks in*
Uh yeah, burger dude, I want a burger and chips please
*throws burger at man*
Oi!! I'm not having that service!!! Ah..where's me chips?
*throws chips at person*
Thank آپ
Mc Donalds! Best place to eat in the universe!!!!!!

((Advert 3))
*duck from almost naked animals comes on the screen with a shed*
Hello
I heard آپ were looking for a shed. Buy a shed then. This is my shed. Where all of your dreams come true. If they involve a shed.

((Advert 4))
*mister hankey comes on the screen*
ارے kids
I'm mister hankey
The christmas poo
Small and brown
I come from you

Don't forget to flush the toilet when آپ use it! Very important information this kids!

((Advert 5))
Are آپ planning to take over the world? If آپ are then آپ will need this started pack.
It inclueds
A nuclier bomb the size of venus
108642256248 آگ کے, آگ crackers and 1 lighter for them
And your very own invader zim from invader zim!

No subject entended, don't actully set the bomb off and be aware that when u touch the bomb it goes off, shaken up in the delivery ya know.
*woman touches bomb and the earth blows up*

Crypto the super dog: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOoOOOOOO

*on the moon*
..Oooooooooooooooooooo....
Alien no 1: did آپ hear that?!
Alen no 2: no...


*you turn your tv off thinking the دکھائیں is pathetic آپ say the دکھائیں is pathetic*

You: the دکھائیں is pathetic

*good! Now آپ turn around and.......wait I need a cookie....*
posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been گیا کیا پوسٹ before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours سے طرف کی hooking a camcorder کی, camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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posted by spunkyonyx
ارے guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the ذریعہ if available. Any others آپ may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have مزید zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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1) wacg alote of T.V. یا be on the computer a long time
2) don't eat food that can make آپ sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda یا crush
4) gety near load stuff یا equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late گھنٹہ
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms سٹریٹ, گلی orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make آپ hiper



those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.


plz writ a commet to tell me what آپ did on the list

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
posted by kitkat709477
Find the 3 and u will get a kiss tommo​row SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​S SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SS SSSSS​SSSSS​SS3SS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSS SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSS SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​ SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSS SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​ find the B! DON'​​​T skip یا ur wish wont come true.​​​.​​​. ​ ​ ​ RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​R...
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I found this from one site, so I thought it was cool so i decided to post it here.. What do آپ think ?


When آپ break her heart- [ the pain NEVER really goes away ]
When she misses آپ - [ she's hurting inside ]
When she says its over - [ she STILL want آپ to be hers ]
When she reposts this bulletin - [ she wants آپ to read it ]
When she walks away from آپ mad - [ Follow her]
When she stare's at your mouth - [ Kiss her ]
When she pushes آپ یا hit's آپ - [ Grab her and don’t let go ]
When she start's cursing at آپ - [ Kiss her and tell her آپ love her ]
When she ignore's آپ - [ Give her your...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. آپ have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets آپ a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If آپ want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if آپ are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that آپ just wanna مککا, عجیب الخلقت in the face , then someohow , آپ end up in a relationship with them , آپ fall in love , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing آپ want to burn either (:]) Well if آپ still have feelings for that person im gonna help آپ get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap آپ guys (: , ohk so آپ could first start off سے طرف کی doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave آپ on آگ کے, آگ ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are آپ tired of always ordering پیزا the same way? Well, this lists will keep آپ entertained for over 90 پیزا orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival پیزا place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."

7. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway آپ never take, یا teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see آپ crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person یا kindly...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up سے طرف کی singing ساحل سمندر, بیچ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say آپ taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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Here are a series of Pointless questions.feel free to comment. :)
AND snappy PICKUP LINES!
Whats the worst thing آپ have done in the bathroom?
L-Jack off to u :)
M-Lookd at آپ and puked. :p

What turns آپ on?
L-..u
M-sadly.....lindsy lohan?

Worst thing to do In public?
L-hmm...
M- get a boner cuz of ya ;x

Who's your Daddy?
L-Gabe
M-Shud have been a smurf

hmmmmmm.....

Peanut مکھن and..?
L- lube
M- Smores :)

Dont trust a..?
L-preggo chicks bf
M- HOE!

Worst thing a guy can do on a first date?
L-say "I rather do Edward Cullen"
M-pick his teeth and try to kiss you?

I wana..?
L-Fuck آپ :)
M-TOUCH YOU

But..Y?...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up سے طرف کی singing ساحل سمندر, بیچ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say آپ taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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My favourite شخصیات مشہور

1.Michelle Trachtenberg-She is just very cool and acts perfectly in 17 Again and Gossip Girl as Georgina :)))

2.Leighton Meester-She is a wonderful singer,great actress and woman and acts perfectly in Gossip Girl as Blair :)

3.Dreama Walker-She is a wonderful actress in Gossip Girl as Hazel.

4.Kate French-Love her as Nikki Stevens in The L Word :)

5.Rachel Bilson-Can I add more?An amazing woman,perfect actress,wonderful style,amazing way of behaviour and way of life.She is my role model

6.Bethany Joy Galeotti-She is great,acts perfectly as Haley in One درخت Hill,has some great songs and has an amazing character.

7.Maite Perroni-A great woman and a singer!
posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of candy per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each سال on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix food to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...
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