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posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to اقدام on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When آپ leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe آپ embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that آپ "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if آپ have a question, and mumble your سوال incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.
Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.
Come to class every دن wearing scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who آپ are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?"
Come to class with a jar full of angry hornets. Five منٹ into class, release the hornets, scream, and run away.
Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, "Stop writing down all these lies!"
Draw hearts and flowers on the backs of your papers and tests. اگلے to them, write things like, "You're the best, even though آپ suck" and "You're the worst professor in the world, but I still love you."
Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class مزید interesting.
Get a monkey, and bring it to class with you. Tell your professor that you've hired the monkey to take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the monkey scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper یا take a test, write down things like, "I wish I had a banana" and "I miss my tire swing." Assuming آپ get a bad grade, angrily آگ کے, آگ the monkey in front of your professor.
Get the whole class to دکھائیں up a few منٹ early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that آپ can't start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.
Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled آپ again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.
If آپ have an early morning class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie down on the air mattress with the تکیا and the blankets and act like you're asleep. Have the alarm set for about two منٹ into class. When it goes off, preferably very loudly, hit the "snooze" button and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class.
Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" یا "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
Keep "accidentally" setting fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, یا whatever آپ have handy. Whenever آپ start a fire, no matter how small it is, start yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run out of the room in a panic. Don't return for the rest of class.
دکھائیں up to class about ten منٹ late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!" and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day.
Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises آپ to sit closer to the front, tell him/her آپ can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."
Start asking سوالات in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt یا stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.
Tell your professor that you'd like to interview him/her for a writing class. Get him/her to tell آپ his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies for the entire class, and your professor. Demand extra credit.
Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that آپ got confused.
When آپ have to write a paper, get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on, don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the U.S. Postal Service.
When your professor gives آپ a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.
لپیٹ, لفاف کریں yourself in bandages and come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things like, "Why me?" and "Please kill me!" Get up during class, like your going to miraculously start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone to help آپ back up. When class is over say, "I feel better now," leap up, and run home.
Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a گٹار to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring."
Write your professor a note that says, "I'm going to be about 15 منٹ late. Go ahead and start without me." Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window.
posted by nivi20997
Rachel's POV:


Hi guys, my name is Rachel Stewart. I have got a huge crush on Andrew Fedrer, the guy اگلے door from the very first دن he saved my life from a poisonous snake. But later only I came to know that he did that to attract Vanessa Han.
He is one of the hottest guy in our school. He has gone out on a تاریخ with every single girl in our school and that big فہرست includes even Vanessa Han. Okay that happened last week.
Like I already told, he has gone out on a تاریخ with everyone. Wait, not everyone. I didn’t go out with him.
WHY??
I am a nerd. And also a big bookworm who is always stuck with...
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posted by justinfangrrl
I did write this on tumblr. It's both opinion and fact. More-so on fact. Say what آپ want. But don't be rude.

***

A rant for the earth~ Idle no مزید

-just a rant, reblog if آپ wish/if آپ love the earth- //read if آپ want

Jeez, I was having a conversation with my mom (a social studies teacher) about racism and how odd it is that somehow all the corrupt, stupid people get picked to be a Country’s leader. [This isn’t always the case of course, but it happens مزید than it should]

I can honestly say that Stephen Harper is probably the most despicable, corrupt, moronic, pathetic excuse of a Prime...
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"See you!" Emma کہا turning the corner on her bike. Eve and Mellissa waved in reply. The rest of the school دن went سے طرف کی pretty quickly for them. "Eve, can I see your place? We've seen mine and Emma’s just not yours." Mellissa asked. "No, my room would be, uh, too messy. Maybe some other time," Eve کہا panicking. "Gosh, okay then. I'll see آپ tomorrow." Mellissa replied. "There's something Eve's hiding... and I'm going to find out!" Mellissa thought.

Mellissa followed Eve to a small one story house that looked warm and cozy. Mellissa hid behind the side. Eve turned around in Mellissa's...
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The اگلے دن was Wednesday, which meant they met with Ms. Winters again. "I'm kind of scared!" Emma whined. Mellissa and Eve rolled their eyes. “Come on, Emma!" Eve threw back her head. "Fine." Emma replied back.

When it was time, Ms. Winters pulled them inside the classroom. "We're going to learn your abilities. Eve, آپ first. Think bats." Ms. Winters said. Eve got up and closed her eyes. Fangs shot out of mouth and her once small human frame morphed into a bat. "Squeeeeeak! Squeeeaaaak!" Eve tried to say.

"Nice job, Miss Dipalo.Now Mellissa. If آپ don't already know, آپ have super strength,...
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First off, I’m trying to convey that I find your statement یا remark funny, even though I may یا may not be laughing behind this screen. Some people are too lazy to laugh, یا just do it to make them think that they like آپ in order to get something out of you. Those kind of lolers are NOT your friends, I repeat NOT. For those who are clueless about what I’m talking about, “lol” is internet slang for laugh out loud and is probably the most used word on the internet and about 90% of internet denizens use this slang word in their daily online conversations, blog posts, comments, etc....
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posted by Sylvia_Puffin
1. Empath. An empath is someone who can sense the emotions of others. They tend to feel drained after being an a crowd.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected سے طرف کی wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited سے طرف کی one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit یا other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that آپ have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers یا water witches. Someone who can locate water یا lost object with a rod یا wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see یا sense aura, یا energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
1.Determine how many times a week آپ eat یا want to eat chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 یا 10.

Let's say آپ eat chocolate 8 times a week (we won't tell).

2.Multiply that number سے طرف کی 2.

8 x 2 = 16

3.Add 5 to the گزشتہ result.

16 + 5 = 21

4.Multiply that سے طرف کی 50.

21 x 50 = 1050

5.Add the current سال (Gregorian).

1050 + 2011 = 3061

6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If آپ haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.

(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)

3061 - 251 = 2810

7.(Assuming آپ were born in 1975...)

2810 - 1975 = 835

8.You'll end up with a 3 یا 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one یا two digits will be the number of times per week آپ eat یا want chocolate (the number آپ specified in the first step).

8 pieces of chocolate a week, 35 years of age.
posted by misscrazel
                     5
                  Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
 "It's a long story. آپ wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. آپ can tell me if آپ ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
posted by animelol
-Every year, nearly 4 million cats are eaten in Asia
-On average, cats spend 2/3 of a دن sleeping,that means a 9 سال old cat has been awake for 3 years of its life!
-When a cat chases its prey,it keeps its head level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down.
-A group of cats is called a "clowder"
-Female cats tend to be right pawed, while male cats are often left pawed
-Cats make about 100 different sounds, dogs make 10.
-Some siamese cats appear to be cross-eyed because the nerves from its left eye go mostly to the right and the opposite with the other eye
-A cats eyesight is both better and...
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^.^ Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
This is NOT mine, I found it link. Thought this was funny....enjoy!
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"

"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."

"Talk about a huge breast!"

"It's Cool Whip time!"

"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"

"Are آپ ready for سیکنڈ yet?"

"Are آپ going to come again اگلے time?"

"It's a little dry, do آپ still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"

"Don't play with your meat."

"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."

"Do آپ think you'll be able to handle...
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posted by Gmillsap02
At the end of series 3, آپ never really find out what happens to Zuko's Mom, do you? well, I've got an idea, check this out:

Ozai wanted to be firelord, but Azulon wouldn't let him be اگلے in line, yadda yadda yadda, Iroh and Lu Ten, yadda yadda yadda, Ozai has to kill his first born son. But Ursa didn't like that so she planned a plan so that Ozai would be firelord and Zuko would live, but then Ursa was banished and I THINK that Ozai killed Azulon but who knows. So, Ursa is banished, and I don't really know where she's gone....but remember when Aang was in the spirit world and he had to talk to "The Face Stealer" (Can't remember the name-sorry) and he changes his face, Right? Well آپ know that face یا a girl with long dark hair? Doen't she look alot like Ursa? If آپ don't think so just have a look at how different Azula looked when she was crazy and cut her hair.

Think about it...I could be right!

So she of trapped in THE SPIRIT WORLD<--------
posted by flippy_fan210
 Derpy
Derpy
yes, this is ripping off cupcakes. do not read of آپ don't like blood and gore. for those who don't know the characters, cadence and shining armor are at the bottom.

chapter 1: Cadence

Cadence was walking to Derpy's new bakery with Shining armor. Derpy کہا she had something extra special planned for the three of them. “where is the bakery anyways?” Cadence asked. “i think it's the one with the huge مفن, چپاتی on top.” Shining armor replied. “yeah, that's gotta be it.” Cadence said, walking towards it. Shining armor followed her. They walked into the bakery, at first it looked as if...
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I’m in disarray
I’m unkempt
And I love آپ sugar
Yeah this is what آپ do
When آپ run your fingers through my hair
In the morning I’m feeling like a sexy superstar

Wow, wow
You rock my party
Wanna make آپ stay
You’re the only one that keeps me singing la la la
I love to smell your t-shirt
I like the way آپ are
But most of all I like it, like it

I like what آپ do to my hair
Who knew that looking a mess could feel so good
I like what آپ do to my hair
Toss it and tease it
Run your fingers through it
Oh how آپ do it

Now go and mess it up, mess it up
Baby mess it up
Mess it up, mess it up
Do it till I can’t...
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Hip shaker
Dream maker
Heart breaker
Earth quaker
I can be anything that آپ want me to

Coin spender
Mind bender
Jet setter
Go getter
Changing my get up for anything آپ choose

I don’t mind trying on someone else
I won’t mind seeing just how it felt
I might like changing my disguise
To make آپ happy

Here’s my formal invitation
You and me go masquerading
Lose ourselves in this charading
Is this love we’re imitating
Do we want what we got
If not I say so what
Here’s my formal invitation
La la la la

You can be my
School teacher
Mind reader
Dream weaver
Just be the one I can count on to play it out with me

Hot...
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Ah
Boy walk in the spot he so fresh yea
He got what he need to impressin’
Just look at the way that he dressin’
Ain’t no سوال chicks like whoa
Girl walkin’ the spot she stop traffic
She blowin’ your mind with her asset
So Jessica Alba fantastic
Instant classic boys like ooh
Maybe I can see us moving like that
Maybe I can see us touching like that
Baby I can see us kissing like that
We don’t need no مزید that he کہا she said
Maybe I can see us moving like that
Maybe I can see us touching like that
Baby I can see us kissing like that
We don’t need no مزید that he کہا she said
He کہا girl...
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posted by randomgirl3000
Facing Stress is very common in school especially near exam time یا due dates of assignments. Learning ways to cope with stress can minimize the negative impact stress has on your mental health leading to maximize academic performance. Here are 5 ways that I come up while in school that I think might be helpful to new college students.

1. Have a support network - They are the academic resource center, the professors یا teaching assistance, your friends, your family یا school counselors. سے طرف کی having a reliable network of support, آپ allow yourself to reach out to people who can help you. Furthermore,...
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posted by _ColorBlind_
Hey..

So, 

Remember me? Of course آپ don't- this is a new account. *smacks self*

Anyway, I used to be LUV_4_BIEBER. *shudders* Remember me now? Still no? Okay.. 

ANYPENIS, I came back to this site a few nights پہلے and went "Damn I miss this place!" Of course probably NONE if the people I knew are still here, but who cares- I can make new friends!

(that was a completely failed attempt at being sociable)

So I was looking back at my old account and holy fucking dickface I was the biggest idiot ever. Just- wow. Firer me apologizes for past me's illiterate writing skills, mary-sueishess, and generally being an annoying twat >.<  

I guess this is a welcome back post? مزید like a "please dear god take me back" post :p

BUT HAY. 
Am sure آپ all already know me for my question:"Does people at your school make fun of what happened at 9/11" where I concluded that only people سے طرف کی where I live (Miami, Florida) joke about that. Well turns out they are not the only bastards. I was on Youtube, checking out ویڈیوز about 9/11 for a reason I don't know. So I came across this video, that سے طرف کی just looking at the title, آپ know it was made سے طرف کی someone who lacks a soul. here is the عنوان of the video:
"9/11-Get the water nigga"
The name to you, may look funny. But when آپ think about what is it about, you'll realize that this is serious...
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Harry Potter مصنف JK Rowling, admitted that Dumbledore is gay. He was in love with a wizard named Grindelwald whom he later defeated in a duel.


"I had always seen Dumbledore as gay, but in a sense that's not a big deal. The book wasn't about Dumbledore being gay. It was just that from the outset obviously I knew that he had this big, hidden secret and that he flirted with the idea of exactly what Voldemort goes on to do, he flirted with the idea of racial domination, that he was going to subjugate Muggles. So that was Dumbledore's big secret.

He's an innately good man, what would make him...
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posted by Wanda5
I'm bored so here, guess the songs :)

Rules:
- Put your MP3 player/iPod/iTunes on shuffle.
- Post the first line from the first 30 songs that plays, no matter how embarrassing the song.
- Let anyone guess the جوابات (song عنوان and artist)
- Bold the lyrics when someone figures it out

1. She paints her fingers with a close precision

2. This may be the last thing that I write for long

3. Tripping out, spinning around - Alice سے طرف کی Avril Lavigne

4. She lives in a fairy tale - Brick سے طرف کی boring brick سے طرف کی Paramore

5. Your little hands wrapped around my finger - Never grow up سے طرف کی Taylor Swift

6. He woke up...
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