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posted by deathding
When life gives آپ lemons, make مالٹا, نارنگی رس, جوس and leave the world wondering how the heck آپ did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first آپ don't succeed, destroy everything.

An سیب, ایپل a دن can keep any doctor away if آپ throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 مزید letters in the alphabet.

Do آپ believe in love at first sight, یا should I walk سے طرف کی again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to آپ later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

Dear life, when I asked if my دن could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the دیوار gets in the way.

That annoying moment when آپ finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, آپ need to use the restroom.

آپ don't notice the air, at least until someone spoils it.

Aim for the moon! Even if آپ miss, you'll land among the stars! But either way, you'll run out of oxygen eventually.

Hmm.... I could kill this person and nobody would notice.... Wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL BRAIN!?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

When a bird hits your window have آپ ever wondered if God's playing Angry Birds with you?

"Just five مزید minutes!" Always means the person will never get ready. :D

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

That moment when آپ see a YouTube channel with the usual blue anonymous person on it, but with a spider, and آپ think it's real.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

Have آپ ever had a fly یا small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Me talking to anyone else: "Hey, what's up? :D" Me talking to a girl I like: "uH HelO hOWZ yU dNGoi toDAY? @__@"

It doesn't matter whether آپ win یا lose, what matters is if I win یا lose.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, fires, screaming, my work here is done. :D

Don't steal, lie, cheat, یا sell drugs. The government hates competition!

Keep talking, maybe someday I'll finally listen.

I was wondering why the Black Knight's shovel was getting bigger, then it hit me!

Pac-Man: "I see dead people..."

(Hope آپ enjoyed! If we can get 5 fans, I'll add more! ^___^)
added by EgoMouse
Source: Me
added by goofy21792
added by myau
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: I know it... آپ TOO! XD
added by Fitch
added by energizerbunny
Source: google.com
added by shiriny
added by aceofspader
added by stickymonkey
added by stickymonkey
Source: google
posted by speedy106
This is the guide to me. Don't come searching for me. I like this stuff.
1.Tests/Pop Quizzes
2.Teen Titans show
3.Guys who are smart and humorous
4.Romance(Don't get any ideas, guys)
5.History
6.Yellow roses
7.Oragami
8.My school crush
9.Speedy/Roy Harper(from Teen Titans show)
10.Writing
11.Acting
12.Having fun
13.Taking care of flowers
14.Boys who like me
15. Kid Flash(Teen Titans and Young Justice show)
16.Beyblade(anime, not manga)
17.Doing cartwheels and volleyball
18. Horses
19.Archery
20.Deer
21.Shopping(This is feminine, but I'm really a tomboy)
22.Hive Five(team of villians in Teen Titans show)
23.Pikachu
24.Grass-type Pokémon
25.Running
26.Robin/Dick Grayson
27.Aqualad(character from Teen Titans show)
28.Vanessa Carlton(singer)
29.Fried Chicken
30.Being happy
That's it. Yep. That's it. Thanks for reading.
 DONT be anything like dudelol17 یا BadBoy83 (Is that their names?!)
DONT be anything like dudelol17 or BadBoy83 (Is that their names?!)
Ways To Annoy People

1. TaLk L1k3 Th15 && D@nT 5t0p :)
2. Txt Talk
3. Keep disagreeing with them
4. رپورٹ everything and تبصرہ 'Ommmmm!'
5. Take Over Peoples Walls (Hehe darkwave)
6. On a club say آپ hate it.
Eg. Justin Biebers Wall:
Just Biebers Gay and I hate him!!!
7. Troll people
8. Say 'I dont care' یا 'You're so annoying' یا 'No' on a دیوار post. (Just be rude)

WARNING: I wouldn't do this to the following fanpoppers: Someone_Save_Me Me_Iz_Here Heartisalone Springely BlindBandit92 Mario-watsit :) They really wont take it good...
We woke up to a smiling figure.Ariana.We ran,Maybelle had the rock in her pocket.The sky was now purple.We finally got a break at the hut."Guys.I think.I know.What to do.See that.Corner?We.Need to.Go over to.It.And Ariana will.Be.Running in a.Circle."Maybelle said,taking a breath each time.
"But what if-"Henry barley finished.
"No what ifs.Cause we don't know what would happen."Sarah said.Not taking any breaths.
"Okay.So when?"Alicia asked.
"On the count of-NOW!"Maybelle said.They ran like a برداشت, ریچھ was chasing them.They ran to the corner of a giant rock.Ariana found them.Pacing,Maybelle کہا to stay...
continue reading...
When we left of:
Taylor:MOM!Mom?Where is she?*walks downstairs*Mom?
*Hears door shut*MOM!!*Runs in basement*MOM!!!*Sees mom with blood running down head*MOM!!!911!!!!
Now:
Police man:Taylor!Calm down!
Taylor:How can I?When mom dies and Charm and Amber,
CHARM AND AMBER!*Runs to bedrooms*Charm!!*picks up*
Amber!*Picks up*
Amber:Taylor?TAYLOR!WHERE IS MOMMY?
Taylor:Shh!Come with me!!!
Taylor's POV:
Later I supposed that Dad was the Killer,but I had no prove,He always کہا he would "GET"mom,but when he did I was 4,so I didn't know what he meant.
Nobody's POV:
Police Woman:*Walks in*Taylor...Jonesmen?
Taylor:That's...
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The city of San Francisco is asking Kulbir Dhaliwal, who was attacked سے طرف کی a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas دن 2007, to reimburse them over $75,000 for the city-funded medical care he received after the mauling.
Cold viruses can survive on objects like telephones and railings for up to three hours.
More suicides occur in the Grand Canyon than in any other national park.
There are مزید bacteria in the ice machines at fast food restaurants than in toilet bowl water.
Alcohol-related traffic fatalities are مزید than twice as common on New Year's Eve as other midweek winter evenings.
Two...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up سے طرف کی St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send آپ to Heaven یا Hell. After all, آپ enormously helped society سے طرف کی putting a computer in almost every ہوم in America, yet آپ also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let آپ decide where آپ want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let آپ visit both places briefly,...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Relationships! We all need a good laugh now and again! ; )

Behind every clever man, is a scientist running tests.

Behind every great woman is a man checking her out.

I don't want to sound sexist here, but I do think men make better Santa's. Men have bigger bellies, men are used to sitting long periods of time and men have lots of experience making promises they have no intention of keeping.
- جے Leno.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood.

Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken...
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EF PEPLE CONTNUU 2 WRIT LYK DIS I WILL ART FLIPIN OUT!
Translation: If people continue to write like this I will start flipping out!

....Now there's two points alone in that sentence and those points were horrible spelling and the constant abuse of the ایوارڈز lock. Most people continue doing these two things to get on everyone's nerves. I can understand that some people writing this way if he/she had dyslexia یا someone learning to speak English and hasn't quite grasped it yet یا if you're texting someone on your phone(that can be a real pain), but there's absolutely no excuse for the rest of us...
continue reading...