Chapter 2—A New Day…A New Chapter
    Right اگلے to the right one…what if آپ are, and آپ just don’t know it? یا آپ know it, and they don’t? That’s quite a pickle…why do they say that? Why is it a pickle? Why not say “oh, that’s quite a scone!” یا “what a کرینبیری muffin!” ah…so confusing. So I think that if آپ are going on a bike ride آپ don’t need to wear a helmet, آپ just need to wear one of those big hard headbands. That’s because I was riding in this really short car down a bumpy road and I hit my head on the ceiling. But it didn’t hurt. آپ wanna know why? Because I was wearing a big fat hard headband. Maybe that’s why people started wearing those. Maybe someone had on a bike ہیلمیٹ and the front and back got cut off, and it was just a hard strip. And then that strip happened to look very good on that person, and so they just kept it around for everyday use. And then someone saw them with it and cut up their own bike helmets and just wore the headbands instead. But then, over time, people forgot the safety features of these headbands and just started wearing them for fashion and fun, and someone reinvented the bike helmet, because people were not wearing their headbands while riding their bikes, and were getting their skulls cracked open. And then the rules were made that آپ have to wear your ہیلمیٹ when آپ ride your bike, so nobody was brave enough to bring back the headband helmets. And there آپ have it, the story of how helmets were turned into headbands and back again. Bing! I need a brain implant. I think that instead of breast implants and nose jobs and lip puffer-upper thingies they should offer brain implants. They would make so much مزید money on brain implants than on any of other things because مزید people are stupid and need brain implants. I would definitely get one if they were offered. I really need a calculator implanted into my brain, and soon too, I have finals اگلے week. But if brain implants were available the math teachers would probably forbid them یا something, so i don’t know if that would be a very good idea anyways…oh well, it was a good idea when it came to mind…ha-ha and it would still be nice… oh well. آپ can’t have everything except for those smiley faces are really happy lookingthey make me warm and fuzzy inside! What if آپ actually got warm and fuzzy inside whenever آپ کہا that? Like your insides started boiling and sprouted little fuzzy hairs like a baby chickens یا whatever. That’s kinda gross if آپ think about it. It’s also gross if آپ don’t think about it. آپ know what? It’s just gross. Period…times 2…+4…period.haha how’s that for a . ? I just wish it didn’t have that gigantic space up there . . . oh well. That’s what آپ get when آپ want to make a point with your big .’S. آپ know what I like? Those big giant tortilla chip thingies. آپ know the big and round yellow things that taste like regular tortilla chips, but are really, really big? Actually, I don’t know if آپ do know. . . im just assuming that آپ know what im talking about, which I should probably never do, cos I hardly ever make much sense about anything. I also don’t make cents. Im totally broke. I wish I made cents. . . but I can’t find a way of doing that without actually working. . . so I guess I’ll just stay broke for a while until my birthday. It’s in a couple of months, I’ll get سے طرف کی on begging till then. Maybe I’ll start right now. I’ll be back later, im heading for the streets! Okay, so the streets (my driveway) wasn’t working. Turns out rich people don’t come down to the end of Driven Trail very much at 5:00 on a Wednesday…well, I didn’t expect very much مزید than a couple of birds and maybe a گلہری, جائے وقوع یا two. And they don’t carry any money on them, cos they don’t have pockets. What if they did have pockets? It would be really funny to see a chickadee, چاککدی یا a گلہری, جائے وقوع running around in the mud in a little dress یا mini, miniscule little jeans and a jacket! And they could have pockets just big enough to stuff a folded up twenty in there. Only the pockets would like take up the entire شرٹ, قمیض if they were that big… oh well. Maybe I’ll make some little teeny clothes and lay them out on the porch and see if they’re gone in the morning. Only if they are gone, it probably means that my dogs ate them… oh well, at least their stomachs will be warm! آپ cannot have a cold stomach. If your stomach was cold all the chewed up food would just freeze into a big mushy gross looking ice cube. And it would just stay in there forever. I wonder if that’s why vampires can’t eat regular food. Their skin is so cold that any food they ate would just freeze into lumpy brown ice. Wow, that explains a lot! It’s funny how much آپ can learn while just rambling on and on like im doing now! I think that when آپ think آپ don’t think of as many good ideas, don’t آپ think so? When you’re thinking you’re actually thinking about something, so there’s no room in your brain for new مزید interesting ideas. If you’re not thinking about anything in particular, and just writing down anything that comes into your mind a lot of very interesting educational stuff comes into your mind. Like about the cold stomachs and the song slugs and the headband helmets and stuff. Ah, the things the brain comes up with! Fascinating, fascinating! I could spend all دن talking about it (don’t get scared, I won’t).

haha! there آپ go! the سیکنڈ installment of my awesome book!