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posted by sweet_n_silly
169
I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re attracted to them

6. Guys will do anything just to get آپ to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when آپ talk about your ex-boyfriend یا ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes آپ wants to be the only guy آپ talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy دوستوں to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are مزید emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what آپ are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a guy first before آپ trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with آپ may end up being admired سے طرف کی your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells آپ about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. آپ don't need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes آپ is when he teases you.

22. Guys love آپ مزید than آپ love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot یا cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes آپ a whole hell of a lot.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook یا advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the اگلے couple days یا until the اگلے time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance کتابیں that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks آپ to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Guys don't really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, آپ know something's up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid آپ یا is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at آپ for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don't like girls who مککا, عجیب الخلقت harder than they do.

43. A guy has مزید problems than آپ can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls مزید than girls talk about guys.

47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even مزید to them.

49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of us.

52. We don't like girls who are too skinny.

53. We love it when girls talk about there ass.

54. Always make sure آپ know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy , like whether it's a one time deal یا not .

55. Believe it یا not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to. It may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like کتابیں after آپ just ask them سوالات about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours.

56. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants آپ sexually.

57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

58. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets آپ keep doing it, it means that he really likes آپ یا his neck really hurts.

59. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is آپ want to let him go and he will respect that after آپ let him know a couple times.

60. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes آپ and wants to be with آپ as much as possible.

it's so true too!!!! (I think)
1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1: What eye color do آپ find sexiest?

2: White, milk, یا dark chocolate mocha?

3: If آپ could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

4: Did آپ grow up in a small یا big town? Did آپ like it?

5: Your پسندیدہ adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

6: What kind of اسموتھی, سموتی sounds really good right now?

7: Most embarrassing moment from your
elementary school years?

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

10: Pirates یا ninjas? Why?

11: Have آپ ever climbed a درخت مزید than...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with مزید than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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posted by cute20k
98
1. Dial a random number and confuse the person who جوابات سے طرف کی saying things like;
"Why did آپ call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up random statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a random مضمون like this.

4. At walmart یا somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, یا a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with...
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A
Abbess
Ablaze
Ace
Acid
Adamant
Aegis
Airspeed
Alaczar (Spanish: Fortress)
AlleyCat
Animus
Anti-Matter Man
Aqualung (guy with frog powers)
Arc
ArchAngel
Argus
میں armadillo, آرمدالو
Arsenal
Asmodeus
Astra
Atomaestro
Avion
Axe (a brick with an axe)

B
BackFlash
بیجر, بادگار
Ballistique
Banelord
Baron K
barracuda, بآرراکودا
Basalt
Battery
Bile
Billy Blue Blazes (a speedster)
Bird of Prey
Black Adept
Blackbody
Black فالکن (Brick/Martial Artist)
Black Light
Blackmane
BlackShadow
Blackthorne
Black بھیڑیا
Blade Song
Blast Off
Bloodletter
Bloodstone (a magic-based mentalist with a crystal...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
19
I don’t know what makes آپ so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told آپ to be yourself simply couldn’t have دیا آپ worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t آپ have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let آپ mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are آپ always this stupid یا are آپ making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like آپ before – but I had to pay an admission.

If آپ took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help آپ out…now, which way did آپ come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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posted by iluvsmj
59
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at آپ trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but آپ my friend!! yes you!! آپ CAN KISS MY ASS*******

If آپ didn't have feet آپ wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do آپ wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for آپ %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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posted by chowjoyi
237
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If آپ have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your دوستوں come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary دوستوں that آپ ask their opinion of everything.

7. After آپ have your bath, لپیٹ, لفاف کریں a bath towel around آپ and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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posted by Karamatsu
Hi guys, I've seen a lot of people on the Internet saying that Notre-Dame de Paris as if it was completely destroyed! But hopefully it wasn't thanks to Paris' firemen, and most of the cathedral is saved

I just wanted to do this quick مضمون to explain in what have been saved and what hasn't
I wanted to لوڈ اپ pictures which would've been much better but for some reason I can't except for two that i can't even place where i want in the article, i'll try to fix this later -_-

What is gone

The arrow

Culminating at 93 meters in the sky of Paris, the arrow of Notre-Dame did not resist the flames....
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added by SummerThunder
added by Me_Iz_Here
Source: ......
35
added by BartyJrLvr
6
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers آپ know.
12.Strangers آپ don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to خارج above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the تندور on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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Here are my فہرست of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let آپ know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything یا eating anything آپ might spit it یا something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the جھاڑو late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the خلیج, کھاڑی they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
19
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome دوستوں and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time آپ read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though آپ may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't love you, my love.

I loved آپ with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
10
1) Lick your best friend's foot for 10 seconds
2) Rub glue on your face and stick various things on it.
3) Go up to a random strange and ask them for $50 dollars for a nose job
4) Go to a public bathroom and sit on the floor and when someone walks in yell this "GO AWAY! CAN'T آپ SEE I'M CLEANING!"
5)Put on a strange outfit and stand on the side of the road and throw pretzels at passing cars
6) Go to Wal-mart and go to a worker and have a conversation that goes kinda like this
YOU-Excuse me. Do آپ guys sell like everything? WALMART PERSON- Yeah. YOU-So where can I find the cars? My son wants a...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
19
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are آپ listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do آپ like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks آپ to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks آپ to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your ہوم alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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posted by My8thUsername
3
A/N: I love copy-and-pastes. Here's a enormungantic فہرست I did. 'Cause I felt like it. Oh, and they're not in any order. I just wanted to know how many I have. سے طرف کی the way, just because I copied them here doesn't necessarily mean they apply to me. I just thought they were cute/funny/awesome. After all, this isn't my profile...

1.98 percent of teenagers do یا has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. A/N: Never ever. And proud.

2.Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when آپ don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as...
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1.Try to climb through all the rooms in your ہوم without touching the floor
2.Find undiscovered tribes using Google Earth
3.Shave your pets
4.Knock down all the interior walls of your home, creating one large empty space. Once done, sit in the middle of the giant room and contemplate your life
5.Start a free blog on WordPress یا Blogger and tell the world about all your weird and dirty secrets
6.Email an ex girlfriend یا boyfriend and apologize for hurting them even though it’s a complete lie (just do it for shits and giggles)
7.Read a book. Use your time to learn something, for God’s...
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