1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only models are able to wear most of the stuff آپ see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes ہوم and sees آپ in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, یا just plain naked.
12. آپ don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank سب, سب سے اوپر are fine سے طرف کی us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that آپ may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true یا not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. آپ shouldn’t be flattered یا grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually مزید when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach آپ not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so شاور with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) آپ on سب, سب سے اوپر of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay فلمیں with آپ but don’t tell our friends.
30. آپ can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports فلمیں یا “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as آپ think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one مزید girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced سے طرف کی a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much مزید attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. آپ can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when آپ are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of آپ it is because we are proud and want to دکھائیں آپ off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether آپ want to do it with the lights on یا off.
42. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing آپ will ever do will entitle آپ to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be کہا after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play مزید often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only سیکنڈ to critiquing our love making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer سوالات we could be castrated.
48. If آپ ask us to go shopping آپ have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your پچھواڑے, گدا look fat. Your fat پچھواڑے, گدا makes your پچھواڑے, گدا look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only models are able to wear most of the stuff آپ see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes ہوم and sees آپ in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, یا just plain naked.
12. آپ don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank سب, سب سے اوپر are fine سے طرف کی us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that آپ may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true یا not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. آپ shouldn’t be flattered یا grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually مزید when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach آپ not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so شاور with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) آپ on سب, سب سے اوپر of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay فلمیں with آپ but don’t tell our friends.
30. آپ can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports فلمیں یا “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as آپ think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one مزید girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced سے طرف کی a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much مزید attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. آپ can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when آپ are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of آپ it is because we are proud and want to دکھائیں آپ off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether آپ want to do it with the lights on یا off.
42. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing آپ will ever do will entitle آپ to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be کہا after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play مزید often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only سیکنڈ to critiquing our love making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer سوالات we could be castrated.
48. If آپ ask us to go shopping آپ have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your پچھواڑے, گدا look fat. Your fat پچھواڑے, گدا makes your پچھواڑے, گدا look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
1) Pay the ring bearer a dollar to pick his/her nose during the ceremony.
2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.
3) Pay the پھول girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.
4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure آپ disabled the piano/organ first.
5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.
6) Get your best friend to call آپ repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure آپ set your ringtone to an irritating tone.
7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.
8) "Trip" and spill chocolate fondue all over the bride.
9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid اقدام سے طرف کی getting married" sign on the groom's back.
10) "Invite" a pit bull.
2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.
3) Pay the پھول girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.
4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure آپ disabled the piano/organ first.
5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.
6) Get your best friend to call آپ repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure آپ set your ringtone to an irritating tone.
7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.
8) "Trip" and spill chocolate fondue all over the bride.
9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid اقدام سے طرف کی getting married" sign on the groom's back.
10) "Invite" a pit bull.
