Q .. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A .. To see what was on the other side.
Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it کہا From 2-4 years.
Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One دن the husband comes ہوم from work and his wife says, "Honey, آپ know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could آپ fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes ہوم from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could آپ change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can آپ please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The اگلے دن the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He کہا he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake یا slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did آپ make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
A young boy enters a barber دکان and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do آپ want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” کہا the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask آپ a question? Why did آپ take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the دن I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a بیئر bottle and bangs the gator on the سب, سب سے اوپر of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but آپ have to promise not to hit me on the head with the بیئر bottle."