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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, آپ answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, آپ answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, آپ answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, آپ say “is that so?”
5. If آپ so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher آپ did not turn in your homework because آپ were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper airplane and fly it to the teacher’s desk. Extra points if it hits the teachers head.
10. Beg your teacher for extensions on reports.
11. Whisper to your neighbor during a test, but claim it was the sugar ants on the floor.
12. Argue with your teacher about your test grade and claim it was supposed to be one یا two points higher than it actually is.
13. While your teacher is grading papers in class, sharpen your pencil. Very loudly.
14. When the teacher says to stop, covertly break the lead and say “but it’s not sharpened”.
15. Roll your pencil across the desk.
16. Do drum rolls with your pencil. Use the head of the person in front of آپ as the cymbals.
17. Never bring a pen یا pencil so آپ always have to borrow one from the teacher.
18. Return the pencil to the teacher, with the eraser end all chewed and slobbery.
19. Use crayon for important assignments. Purple crayon.
20. Lean your chair back so that it is balancing on only two legs. Extra points if آپ fall over backward.
21. Covertly chew gum in class. Extra points if آپ snap and crack it with out being caught.
22. When possible, eat food in class. Loud, crunchy food.
23. Go into the graphics options on the school computers, click graphics properties and click on rotation. Rotate 180 degrees. Extra points if the teacher can’t find out how to get it back the way it was.
24. Put wads of chewed gum on the end of your pencil.
25. Ask to be excused to the bathroom. Even if آپ just came from recess lunch.
26. When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand. If the teacher calls on you, ask if آپ can go to the bathroom.
27. Ask if آپ can be excused to go to the bathroom, then take a tour arround the school.
28. Put too many staples on your paper when آپ staple it. Extra points if آپ make a good design with them.
29. Write so small on your paper that the teacher can barely read it.
30. Bring brightly colored notebook paper to write on. Examples: neon pink, purple, red, orange, green…and so on.
31. Blurt out the جوابات to the teachers questions.
32. When your teacher asks a question, wiggle in your نشست and shout “I know, I know!”
33. When the teacher ask a question, wave your hand like a palm درخت in a hurricane and say “pick me, pick me!” When the teacher finally calls on you, say “never mind”.
34. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, look innocent and say “I was just stretching”.
35. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on آپ say “I wasn’t paying attention”.
36. Make basket shots with every paper آپ want to throw away. Extra points if آپ get a basket.
37. When the teacher calls on you, tell her the longest personal story آپ know.
38. When the teacher says “Pay attention please” reply “how much should I pay?”
39. When the teacher calls on you, talk so softly that the teacher can barely hear you. When she tells آپ to speak up, pretend to be dead on your desk.
40. When the teacher calls on آپ say “finally”—Even if آپ where picked first.
41. Count how many times your teacher says um. At the end of the period, present the grand total at the end of class.
42. For your book report, choose the shortest book with the most pictures آپ can find.
43. Whistle while آپ work.
44. Never seem to listen to directions.
45. Right after the teacher gives directions say “huh”.
46. Comb, brush, یا braid your hair in class.
47. Bring a lizard, mouse, rat, exedra into class. “Accidentally” let it lose. Extra points if the teacher screams like a little girl.
48. Don’t work when the teacher is looking. Work when the teacher is working.
49. Sigh, “This is boring” heavily.
50. Laugh out loud for no reason.
51. Don’t talk to a substitute teacher because the is a “stranger”.
52. Never let your teacher finish a sentence without an interruption.
53. After everything your teacher says say “That’s what آپ think”.
54. If آپ have a substitute teacher, ask آپ and your دوستوں to sit in all different places so that the substitute’s seating chart is all messed up.
55. Track sand into the classroom سے طرف کی “accident”.
56. Keep dropping your pencil.
57. Call her “grandma”.
58. Call him “grandpa”
59. Throw lots of spit wads.
60. Fall asleep in class. If the teacher wakes you, say “aww, I was dreaming آپ were actually nice”.
61. After class, cover every inch of the dry-erase board with dry-erase marker so that the teacher can not write anything on it.
62. Hide other کتابیں inside of text کتابیں and appear to be reading the text book.
63. After every time the teacher explains something ask “is that going to be on the test?”
64. After every time the teacher explains something say “well, duh”.
65. Make up humorous excuses for being late.
66. Forget to have your parents make excuses for being late.
67. Yell “Yessssssssss” after every time آپ finished something. Anything.
68. Annoy Ms. Thompson. AT ALL COST.
69. If Mr. Corley walks by, whistle innocently, and when he turns his back, run fast.
70. Make animal shows on projector.
71. Read your math book when آپ are supposed to be reading history. If the teacher asks why, say “oh, how did that get there?”
72. Read comic کتابیں hidden in your text books.
73. Ask a teacher how old she is. When she replies, put your hand over your دل and say “WOW!”
74. Ask the same سوال the teacher just finished answering 10 منٹ ago.
75. Knock a heavy text book off your ڈیسک again…and again…and again….and again….
76. Keep finding an excuse to keep walking in front of the projector.
77. Smudge up your paper so that it is hard to read.
78. Ask for help on something. Then say “never mind”. Then ask for help on the same thing 2 منٹ later to annoy your teacher.
79. Make animal bunny ears to the teacher if she/he is infront of the projector.
80. Read out loud during silent reading time.
81. Pretend to fall asleep instead of following instructions. Then say “I don’t get it”.
82. Doodle on your desk. Big, hard to ignore doodles.
83. Write stupid سوالات on your desk.
84. Put messages in your textbooks.
85. Always write in marker. Bright neon marker colors.
86. While the teacher is talking, roll your eyes. Then yawn and stretch. After that, gaze longingly out the window. Keep looking at the clock every five minutes. Sigh. Very loudly.
87. Whistle very loudly when the teacher is trying to concentrate.
88. Never look up a word in the dictionary. Always ask your teacher.
89. Make your id picture hard to read.
90. Put staples all over the floor.
91. If آپ have the guts, start a food fight. ?
92. Come in just after the گھنٹی, بیل every day.
93. Complain about the food at the school cafeteria.
94. Pretend like آپ have only one brain cell.
95. Where sunglasses inside. Even if it is cloudy.
96. Laugh stupidly. Often.
97. Talk loudly about your پسندیدہ show.
98. If آپ can, get the necessary materials to take over the p.a system. Then, play forty منٹ of your پسندیدہ cd over it. Extra points if آپ do not get caught.
99. Play coin football during silent reading time.
100. Gather your stuff ten منٹ before class ends.
101. Run out of the classroom right after the bell. Before the teacher dismisses you.
added by _Gloved1_
added by zombiestars
added by Tamar20
added by Darkshine
added by NomyCake
Source: AngelzFunnys.com
added by iFly_12
posted by Bluekait
Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth یا I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for آپ to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got مزید chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth
And I've never seen my toes
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, آپ know it
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come...
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posted by Nein-Nein
Aokigahara (青木ヶ原?), also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai?), is a 35-square-kilometre (14 sq mi) forest that lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan.
The forest has a historic association with demons in Japanese mythology and is a مقبول place for suicides , The forest is a مقبول place for suicides, reportedly the most مقبول in Japan and سیکنڈ in the world after San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. Statistics vary, but what is documented is that during the period leading up to 1988, about 100 suicides occurred there every year.
In 2002, 78 bodies were found within...
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A comedic spin on pop culture vampires and scary فلمیں in general, tells the story of three teens who believe their new babysitter is a real bloodsucking creature of the night -- and it's now up to them to rid their sleepy little town of the menace.

I love this show, and for the parent freaking out over it being "inappropriate" they have a time on Disney channel for kids it goes to noon. Shouldn't be that hard to avoid a دکھائیں that airs late, and its not obscene, and she wasn't "making out" with anyone It was a peck like everything else on Disney. Do yourself a favor and switch to Disney.

Anyway I love this show! So no I guess its not only children that watch the Disney channel. I love the characters. It's interesting and funny, I love that its not a typical Disney comedy and I love that there's no annoying laughter in the background! Anyway I recommend it :)
THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual سوال دیا on a یونیورسٹی of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer سے طرف کی one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) یا endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) یا some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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O-
-heartbeats-
















OW!!!!!!!!!



Shake a chicka.

Ah

As they came into the voodoo
There was sound out...
Like a sheepdog.
He can make up your apartment.
He let the buck stay
On the carpet.
Sharon ate upon the table.
Makin' sushi... was a navel.
So she rented out the bedroom...
She was struck down...
By a centipede.

Annie are آپ walking?
So, Annie are آپ walking?
Are آپ walking Annie?
Annie are آپ walking?
So, Annie are آپ walking?
Are آپ walking?
Annie are آپ walking?
-screams- SO, ANNIE ARE آپ WALKING???!!!!
ARE آپ WALKING ANNIE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dramatic choir:
Annie are آپ walking?
With your dentist
Are...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if آپ do not have permission from کہا company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that آپ give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
(CREATED سے طرف کی RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can خارج the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused سے طرف کی Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle آپ with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a دل attack; his دل lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do آپ always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd آپ treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
If آپ tied buttered ٹوسٹ to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when آپ turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if آپ open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when آپ transport something سے طرف کی car, it's called a shipment, but when آپ transport something سے طرف کی ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little...
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added by Smilebaby05
Just something I want to experiment with.. Even though it's not October it is kinda Halloweeny...



10: Jack the Ripper:
Let's start with then obvious for a فہرست like this, the guy who disemboweled and probably dissected prostitutes, while also writing taunting letters to police. If آپ heard of Black Dalia, well this guy did this too 'all' his victims. And as the story goes, he was never found..


9: Jane Topper:
To me there was always disturbing about "Jolly Jane", the nurse was suppose to help people but instead poisons them, and worse still, lies with them as they died. Apparently for sexual...
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I thought I could protect you
From paying for my sins
And I've been walking this earth
Long enough, that death's a gift
(Ohhhh girl)

Been living this life so patient
Until I see آپ again
It's war we're facin'
I know that if I die
My only choice is still defending

No matter what they say
My love for آپ is
greater than their powers
And their armies from above

You give me strength
I'm with آپ either way
If I die
If I stay
Give me strength
I'm with آپ either way
Nothing's lost
No مزید pain
Just give me strength

The scars and the wounds
I wear them proud like tattoos
Reminds me that I lost you
Reminds that I'll be
Living...
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posted by spinner90
Crossword puzzles are drawn puzzles that are usually in the shape of a square یا rectangle. The puzzle is filled with black and white squares. The goal of a crossword puzzle is to fill the white boxes with the جوابات to a series of questions. Most crosswords include numbers in the white squares so the player can match each سوال with a specific answer location. The shaded squares are used to separate the answers. The جوابات that go into the white boxes are written across and down, with separate clues for each direction. The جوابات will interlock with one another, so correctly answering...
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