As I weaved through the crowded hallway, I focussed on the rhythm of my footsteps. I was lost. It was as if I was a new student یا something. Now that Annabella was gone, the hallway made me dizzy with fear. I stood in this hallway and whined, begging for her not to leave. This is where I shared the last hug I will ever share with Annabella. When you're with your best friend, nothing matters. When آپ know you'll never see her again, not even a faint light of happiness appears at the end of the freight tunnel.
I had a hard life. We all do. I lived in a small mountain town in North Carolina with my father. We lived in a seemingly-microscopic کیبن of logs, along with our hound dog Cleetus. Mom was gone- had been gone- for a while now. I blamed it all on her- for going, for leaving me without a goodbye. I needed her and I couldn't have her soft spoken, comforting words. It was allher fault. I blamed it on her because there wasn't anyone else to blame it on.
Mom would have دیا me that warm smile only moms can give and a hug that's worth مزید words than I can imagine. She would have کہا that Annabella was still in our hearts. Sometimes Dad tries to pass off with of her lines like that one, but most of the time he just ignores my tears.
I flashed back to the present to find myself leaning against a locker for support, like it was all I had left. And to be honest, it probably was.
I'm still me, I reminded myself. But who was I? Before knew it, a bib of tears flooded my face and streamed down to my chest. I hear red-headed Abigail whisper to Elisa. Faint words saying, 'Carson's actually crying?' I wished those faint words were the faint light at the end of the tunnel. And if I was sitting, I'd sink down into my نشست and cover my eyes like a three سال old, as if that made it so no one could see me. But I was standing there and it was all I could do to refrain myself from punching سٹرابیری, اسٹرابیری Short Cake, otherwise known as Abigail, in the nose. Mama didn't like it when I was violent, and I knew looking down on me, I might get struck سے طرف کی lightning یا something. So I did what I could do and I cried.
The گھنٹی, بیل rings and I bang my head against the closest locker. My head sounded hollow, too stupid to make a decision. I cannot go to class like this, I thought. My eyes were red, and I was dizzy. I looked drunk. Completely, utterly drunk.
I start to wonder which would make Papa the most furious- skipping class یا getting a call from my teacher, stating in a questioning and confused voices; "Carson is in the middle of a hangover...?" Yeah, me the angelic nerd. I was a nerd. Annabella didn't mind. Her different IQ level didn't affect anything, but things changed. People changed. Maybe it was me that changed.
I decided I would leave and go home. I was sick. Sick of life where Annabella is half way across the country. But Papa could think I was a different kind of sick for all I cared. I would not face Mr. Calliway, my teacher, اگلے period with last weeks' ہوم work he was allowing me to turn in a little late not even started. I hadn't done any homework, in fact. Yeah me; the nerd. Mrs. Lloyd even asked my dad if anything was going on that she should know about. As if my dad even cared. Let's face it, he cares مزید about Cleetus, our hound dog, than me.
I walked to the nurses office. I borrowed Ethan's lighter. Ethan- he was one of them. Them- I didn't know I was becoming one of them. They were Emo. They were slackers. They were most of the population at our school. Ethan was one of them. Ethan- he was Annabella's crush. He was also rich. Maybe not to you, but I was like a kid. Just 100 bucks seemed like all the money in the world.
Ethan thought differently before he witnessed the fact that I did not want the lighter for the reason he does. I did not have cigarettes. And I wish I could say I did not want them. I needed something to get my mind off of this pain in my heart. Maybe Ethan thought I wanted to burn myself, یا maybe he thought I planned to light a joint- but what I wanted was something to warm my mouth so when the nurse examined me she would see my 'fever' and send me home. I gingerly lighted a cup of water. I observed it as it boiled. Ethan and them stared. I drank it and it burned in my throat. I felt my esophogaus melting. I did not feel my heart. I liked pain. I was emo. Yeah, me; the nerd.
I sank down in one of the harsh, cold chairs. The nurse acts as if she doesn't see me. She must think she's hallucinating; Carson, the nerd, leaving early for the first time in the two years I'd been here at Kiser Middle.
I think about clearing my throat to catch her attention but I do not have to. My too-close-to-melted esophogaus speaks for me and lets out a vicious and sickly cough. It sounded different than someone with a cold, it sounded like my insides hissing at my emotional self. The nurse displays a suspicious look on her face, but passes me a thermometer. I got away with the hiss instead of cough because I am just a nerd. I would never do anything wrong. Of course Carson Lee would never be up to anything suspicious.

*to be edited and improved*