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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are آپ tired of always ordering پیزا the same way? Well, this lists will keep آپ entertained for over 90 پیزا orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival پیزا place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their سوالات with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

11. Tell them to put the crust on سب, سب سے اوپر this time.

12. Sing the order to the tune of وین Morrison's "Brown-Eyed Girl."

13. Do not name the toppings آپ want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when آپ say "crazy bread."

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a P'zone)

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if آپ would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer آپ up.

22. Make a فہرست of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation آپ are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like آپ know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.

29. Order while using an electric چھری sharpener.

30. Ask if آپ get to keep the پیزا box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

32. Have your پیزا "shaken, not stirred."

33. Say "Are آپ sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do آپ know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. اقدام the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as آپ speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the سب, سب سے اوپر of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your پیزا is, in fact, dead.

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

38. When they say "What would آپ like?" say, "Huh? Oh, آپ mean now."

39. Play a sitar in the background.

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so آپ can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

42. Ask to see a menu.

43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

53. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

54. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say آپ were drunk and didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

57. رپورٹ a petty theft to the order taker.

58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Holy پیزا toppings, Batman!"

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed سے طرف کی your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if آپ should trim those nose hairs.

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

64. Ask if the پیزا is organically grown.

65. Ask about پیزا maintenance and repair.

66. Be vague in your order.

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little مزید OOMPH this time."

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 سیکنڈ throughout the order.

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation سے طرف کی reciting today's تاریخ and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a تفصیل to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

75. When listing toppings آپ want on your pizza, include another pizza.

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that آپ won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

79. Put them on hold.

80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I کہا 'sauce smothered with meat'."

82. Make the first topping آپ order mushrooms. Make the last thing آپ say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you'ge دیا the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

87. Order term life insurance.

88. When they say "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

96. Ask if the پیزا has had its shots.

97. Order a steamed pizza.

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the گھنٹہ to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the پیزا with a public flogging.
added by r-pattz
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Source: icanhascheezburger.com
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits اگلے Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have آپ tried دکھانا him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed سے طرف کی funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like آپ - very homosexually.
Contributed سے طرف کی funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - مچھلی Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by jeniffer2200
 i'm a tumor
i'm a tumor
Family guy quotes:

*Black Jesus!* "I rode this town on ass!,Yo mama's ass!" *Black Jesus*

"Meth is a hell of a drug."

"I'm a tumor,I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor!,I'm a tumor,I'am a tumor...I'am tumor! oh oh! I'M A TUMOR!"

"Pick up my poop!"

"I have the power! He-Man!"

"Giggity!"

"Luis! Luis,Luis,Luis,Luis,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mama,Mama,Mama,Mama,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mummy,Mummy,Mama!,Mama! WHAT!? HI! eheheheheh"

______________________________________________


Spongebob Quotes:

"Oh Please! I have no soul"

"Fenland!"

"I defy آپ دل man!!"

"I don't think Wumbo is a real word...Come'on!...
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posted by kinga10111
A person can not fold a normal size piece of paper in half مزید than 8 times.



There are just over 300 million cell phones used daily in the United States alone.



A shrimps دل is in it’s head.



Kissing is actually healthier than shaking someones hand.




Natural pearls will melt in vinegar.



An زیتون درخت can live up to 1500 years.



Cleopatra married two of her brothers.



Ants can’t shut their eyes.




On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building looks like an American flag.



Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, while women shirts have the buttons on the left.



Chewing...
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50 random سوالات people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will آپ marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The دن came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing آپ know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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1.His cell phone number (picture this آپ are on a تاریخ with him and she calls to ask wat time will she be home)

2.His parents-(If your mom knows his parents then be prepared to see sum embarrasing pics,of yuor boyfriend)

3. If he is a virgin!! (ppicture this your up in your room with him and she pops in when yall r about to kiss and she freaks out)

4.His ex-girlfriends (if your mom knows ur boyfriend's ex girlfriends then be prepared to hear what did, tthis girl havetht my daughter didnt)

5.What his style is (your out with ur bf and mom and آپ turn the corner and she yells OH LOOK A THOOSE SEXY...
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 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of آپ are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat یا what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two منٹ when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my آئی پوڈ, ipod یا laptop for a week if I left it open again. یا when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the اگلے table.
Turn around every thirty-seven سیکنڈ to the people at the اگلے میز, جدول and ask them if your نشست is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever آپ see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their میز, جدول and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time آپ take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the میز, جدول itself; and make sure to make...
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added by tanyya
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are دوستوں live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be...
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video
random
سب, سب سے اوپر 10
WatchMojo
added by Jet-Black
added by ShadowFan100
The عنوان says it all, really. So I just want to start this all off سے طرف کی apologizing to like..... The three of آپ that probably were reading this. Cultober II was something I had planned since last year. I reviewed 31 horror فلمیں last سال and really wanted to do the same this year. However, I don't have the same free time I did a سال ago. With work and other projects being in the way, as well as playing indie games for In-Indie, I have no time to review 31 films. I had hoped that limiting it to 16 would help... and then I limited it to 10. And even then it wasn't going to do any good. So...
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