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1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the اگلے car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The مزید it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window یا sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

11. Eat food that requires silverware.

12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

13. Sing without having the radio on.

14. Honk frequently without motivation.

15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.

16. Ask people for Grey Poupon.

17. Let pedestrians know who’s boss.

18. Look behind آپ frequently, with a very paranoid look.

19. Restart your car at every stop light.

20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.

21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.

22. While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars.

23. Paint your car with occult symbols.

24. Keep at least five cats in the car.

25. Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex.

26. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for آگ کے, آگ trucks.

27. Stop and collect road kill.

28. Stop and pray to road kill.

29. Throw Spam.

30. Get in the fast lane and gradually…slow…down… to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
posted by mehere
Im sorry if آپ dont like me Im sorry if آپ think I suck but most of all Im sorry, I dont give a fuck

Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who آپ are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.

I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change یا be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.

If آپ don't like my words, don't listen. If آپ don't like my appearance, don't look. If آپ don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.

Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. آپ think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Note; This song is based off of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic's very own Pinkie Pie's song, 'Giggle at the Ghostie'.

Come on, Fanpop, don't آپ see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, آپ gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
رپورٹ the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave آپ alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!

Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of Fanpop and ze internetz. :3
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat یا drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why آپ have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail آپ out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting اگلے to آپ sayin "DAMN!"were screwed"!

FRIENDS: Have never seen آپ cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else آپ cried...just laugh about it with آپ in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks آپ to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has آپ on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:...
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1. Every دن at school is the same
2. آپ never know if your braids look digusting یا not
3. آپ are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. آپ would like to think that people notice یا even think about آپ but آپ are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows یا cares about
5. آپ worry people will write nasty تبصرے on your fanpop مضمون that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all آپ do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When آپ only really have like 3 دوستوں at school and 2 of them...
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This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the China Earthquake.
After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting سے طرف کی an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.

With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the دیوار to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman...
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1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.

2) Every five منٹ yell "The aliens are coming!"

3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time آپ see it.

4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)

5) Announce that آپ are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.

6) Call your house number and announce that آپ are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure آپ dont get a wrong number!!

7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.

8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."

9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
posted by MJlover101
-New York City has 11 letters.

-Afghanistan has 11 letters.

-Ramsin Yuseb (the terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

-George W بش has 11 letters.

-The Twin Towers make an "11",

-New York is the 11th state.

-The first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

-Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. (9+2=11)

-Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. (6+5=11)

-The tradegy was September 11, یا 9/11. (9+1+1=11)

-The total number of victims inside the planes was 254. (2+4+5=11)

-September 11 is the 254th دن of the year....
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Note:I wrote that only for fun! i don't even believe if the world is going to end in 2012 cause God only knows when! so don't put stupid تبصرے please!


-How to Survive:

1-Make sure that you've got a back pack full of food and drink

2-Build a room under the ground make sure,that it's ready to use.

3-Sell your Home

4-If your mum یا dad is a Doctor ask him/her to teach آپ some stuff about nursing

5-go to the room آپ built under the ground and put some food and drinks there!

6-When the دن comes! go to the room آپ built under the ground at 4:00 am before the sun comes!


How to get Ready:(2 Days before...
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posted by animefreak21
do this stuff if u dare but it would be funny 2 c
something like this happen i also made this up myself

1. start caramelldansen in the middle of the store

2. go up 2 a random person and hand them a paper
that says death on it when u hand it 2 them say
wakarimasen (i don't understand) in a really weird
voice then run away

3. sing a really annoying song at the سب, سب سے اوپر of your lungs repeatedly

4. follow random people all over the store یا where ever they go except the bathroom (that would just be
creepy)

5. say there u r i was looking all over 4 u and glomp (hug some 1 really tight) a random person

6. go up...
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posted by Ninjacupcake
Hate is everywhere. It can be because of race, gender یا if someone is gay/lesbian/bi. Sadly, a lot of us have to live with it. What I want to speak about are the hatings of people with different sexual orientations.

Most of آپ have heard Born This Way سے طرف کی Lady Gaga. I want to say that everyone IS beautiful in their way cause God makes no mistakes. Even though I'm straight, that does NOT mean that I hate others. I love everyone. It makes me mad, but also sad, because that's a human being آپ are hating. They have red blood when they bleed, need food when they are hungry, and DANG, their poop...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do آپ want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take آپ out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call آپ sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give آپ a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why آپ are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are آپ going through now?

"I love you, too." = Okay, I کہا it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized سے طرف کی irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing یا two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our love آپ lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we love him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our love is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we love be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape یا form.
6.Guys آپ should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with آپ (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly love we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When آپ (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! آپ can think what ever آپ can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people love batman, I go for Superman. Batman dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One دن he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my اگلے hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that آپ can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at آپ a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments آپ a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if آپ are single.

06. He asks آپ out for lunch.

07. He asks آپ out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats آپ like a lady.

12. He walks آپ to your door.

13. He wants to see آپ often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells آپ he likes you.

16. His دوستوں know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He کہا he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I کہا "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give آپ the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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10. When being pulled over سے طرف کی a cop and he یا she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, آپ have been caught speeding, how much do آپ think آپ were going?" Don't say, "Well آپ must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when آپ haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron یا born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period یا PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have آپ been putting on a little weight?" It's a کتیا, کتيا slap waiting to happen.

7....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I چرا لیا, چوری کی a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag آپ down and beat آپ with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make آپ Christian even مزید then standing in a گیراج makes آپ a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the فہرست though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at ہوم even if...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been گیا کیا پوسٹ before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours سے طرف کی hooking a camcorder کی, camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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Intro :

yea mmhm i know these have been گیا کیا پوسٹ alot but i am both insane and depressed and i can help depending on your personality یا sumthin like tht. But anyways, just read on. I hope آپ like!!! This was written سے طرف کی me! Not taken off anyone else. Thanks for your time reading my into ;) ~~ XxemolovexX (prefer not to say my real name)

How to cure boredom :


If you're an artist :
Draw! drawing will always help آپ feel better. And who knows, over time آپ might be able to draw amazingly.

If you're an مصنف :
Free write! Its always fun to. Write something according to your taste in books.

If آپ love...
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