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Behold, the سیکنڈ installment of the کچھی سینڈوچ series! This time, it's Surrogates! It's a little shorter than what I want to be the norm, but it's here, which is better than I did last week. But that's aside from the point. Remember to leave suggestions in the comments! Hope آپ enjoy! :)
posted by BenderIsGreat34
Narrator: آپ are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, یا some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

Last Man: [Walks into library]

Narrator: As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on Earth.

Last Man: Finally, solitude. I can read کتابیں for all eternity! [drops his glasses] It's not fair, it's not fair! [calms down] Wait, my eyes aren't that bad; I can still read the large-print books. [reaches for a book, his eyes fall out] [hysterical]...
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posted by Animeanimal
Snow
سے طرف کی animeanimal

Why do آپ mock me,
With آپ white pure intentions
That i could never hope to understand?
I lie to the skies,
While آپ are born from that very same horizon.
I taint آپ so; therefore, i hate the sight of you.
The snow brings only pain, misery, and sorrow
To those who lie to the sky.
You are cold and کڑوا, تلخ and so am i,
So why would people love you, while turning me away?
This is why i hate the snow.

Just something I randomly wrote down yesterday and had NO idea why XD It just came to me REALLY fast so i jotted it down! Hope آپ liked it ^^


Love and the dance called life...
سے طرف کی animeanimal...
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posted by sensativEmo
The argument over what's considered to be real موسیقی goes on and on (and on and on).

Jyoti Mishra

How many times have آپ been in a pub/club/brothel and heard someone start up the same old speech, pointing at some trance act یا گیراج crew and going, "See that? That's not real music! They can't even play their instruments! آپ just push a few buttons and it's all done for you." The best reply for this I've found is to simply agree. But occasionally I'll suggest if it really is that easy, why don't they go and have their own hit record? After all, they just need to buy the right bit of gear and...
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posted by Pokemon_melody
NOTE: I do not own any of the things listed!

These are real names I made for things, if they became humans. Here we go~:
MEME:

Trollface- Trolly Mctrollmyer
Forever Alone- Foren Alones
Y U NO- Yuggle Uber Noober
Me Gusta- Mero Goosta

MLP:FIM

Twilight Sparkle: Tina Sparks
Fluttershy: Freedom Slait
Pinkie Pie: Penny Plure
Applejack: Annie Jackson
قوس قزح Dash: Rachel Danes
Rarity: Rena Taylor

Pokemon:

Pikachu: Pelly Chus
Oshawott: Onia Wain
Lugia: Lena Iesa
Skitty: Serena Tiens

Sonic the hedgehog:

Sonic: Soren Clios
Cosmo: Cleena Moise
Cream: Casey Maise

THE END
posted by cute20k
I fall
And sometimes I fall to fast
but this time I feel
like it could last

Theres these 3 words I'd like آپ to know
But I can't get them out off my mouth
I'll tell آپ that the 2nd is love, oh
But thats all i can say
There's 3 words I'd like آپ to know
But I can't let my guard down
Or my weekness will show.
These words express my feelings for آپ
I want to say them
So آپ feel the same way too

So I am singin in the rain cuz I know its real
laughin at every joke, can't help what i feel
They all say I'm goin crazy
but what am I without you, baby?

I could be
Going insane
but who are they to blame?
I am
so...
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(This is a new series I made. I basically review ANYTHING while staying on topic, talking like I'm the f**king son of Sir Issac Newton, and making terrible jokes I came up with in 5 seconds. Hope آپ enjoy!)

You know what, I have to say it. SCREW HUMANITY AND THEIR DEFORMED OPINIONS. Yeah, I acknowledge that society as we know it is bound to disagree with anyone here and there, but when آپ break the boundaries and go as far to say that a song like this sucks, then your soul has failed miserably on a vast scale.

Yes reader, I am reviewing a classic song that nobody on this pathetically constructed...
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posted by boomerlover
1.A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde جوابات "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail"

2.Why did the blond پار, صلیب the road?

I dont know.

Neither did the blond.

3.A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish آپ guys could get your act together. Just yesterday آپ take away my license and then today آپ expect me to دکھائیں it to you."

4.A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the سب, سب سے اوپر of a burning building. Below,...
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Why Did the Chicken پار, صلیب the Road?


George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road یا not. The chicken is either with us یا it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Bill Clinton: I did not پار, صلیب the road with THAT chicken. What do آپ mean سے طرف کی chicken? Could آپ define chicken, please?

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road یا the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only پار, صلیب roads, but...
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posted by dannylynn92
link

Childbirth is the سیکنڈ most painful thing in the world, right اگلے to being burned alive.

You are مزید likely to get struck سے طرف کی lightning than to be attacked and killed سے طرف کی a bear.

It is unlawful to sit on the floor anywhere in the US Capitol building. It is considered to be protesting.

The chicken is the closest living relative to the T-Rex.

Elephants are the only animal that have 4 knees. They also are the only animal that can't jump.

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

Vaccinations contain dead bacteria cells. The bacteria cells are inserted into your body so that...
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1.When someone remembers the things آپ say
2.Cute sneezes
3.Laughing until my stomach hurts
4.Waking up with perfect hair
5.The sound of little kid’s uncontrollable laughter
6.People who except my extreme weirdness
7.People who remember me after meeting me once
8.Getting an A on a test I didn’t study for
9.When the first text آپ see is from the person آپ love <3
10.When your plans don’t work out but your دن turned perfect anyway
11.Seeing a baby laugh
12.That one person who knows آپ better than آپ know yourself
13.When a friendly stranger smiles at you
14.The cold side of the pillow
15.Knowing...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
Yay! girls,these days short hair is in. But if آپ have just cut your hair short and آپ don't know how to style it, it can be a challenge. Today we have some tips for آپ :D

Very Short:

This would be like the cut that Emma Watson has. It is a cut that gives the face a mysterious look to it. All your can do with a cut this short is style it a bit with gel, یا play around with the badg if آپ have them. آپ need to be sure that آپ want this look, because once you've got it, there is little آپ can do about it.

Medium-Short Hair:

This is a good option for those who want to try out short hair but...
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posted by simpleplan
1. If they want to loan آپ money, tell them آپ just filed for bankruptcy and آپ could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are آپ today?" say, "Why do آپ want to know?" Alternately, آپ can tell them, "I'm so glad آپ asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."

3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them...
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Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie.

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Darn, there go the lights again...

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could آپ stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration...
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posted by Jeffersonian
These are purported to be actual test جوابات from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes سے طرف کی which water can be made محفوظ to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water محفوظ to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded سے طرف کی sky.

SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If آپ are buying a house,...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
So I was watching one of my پسندیدہ let’s play channels, Woolie Vs., a channel that usually plays a lot of lesser known indie titles, pretty much where I buy a lot of games I fell in love with, stuff like Sayonara Wild Hearts and Chroma Squad. But there was one game I played that made me far مزید cautious of what I play. I saw that they uploaded a playthrough of a game known as 198X, and I was already excited from the art alone… Little did I know that this would be a huge mistake.



198X follows the tale of a young boy, who is always upset, hates his town, and just wants to get away....
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posted by GrandDad
Hello, i am GrandDad, I rant about it so آپ don't have to!

Today, we will be diving into the magic of...augh, ships....

If آپ don't know what ships are, they basically take 2 characters from one franchise (or one not related to that franchise at all) and just say "oh so they love echother mkay"

Jesus christ, those people disgust me. And some people decide to take a step once and beyond and just draw porn of them. Why the fuck.


But here's the sickest part:


Some people decide to MAKE BOTH PEOPLE BOYS. what the fuck.


Worse, they decide to sometimes use it as evidence that 2 people might have a relationship....
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posted by alexischaos2004
Welcome to the world of Fanpop! My name is Professor Alexis. People call me the Internet Professor. This world is inhabited سے طرف کی creatures calle- LET'S GET ROOOOOOOIGHT INTO THE NEWS!! (I'm so good at making references in these مضامین *D*)


You saw the title, correct? Now, سوالات like "What the heck, Alexis? Fandom galore? What's that?" and "What's this stupid girl writing about now?" might pop into your head. Regardless if you're sick of these rants یا not, I'm gonna talk about many well known fandoms and their cringey sides! شامل میں me in this one hell of an acid tri- I mean... internet adventure!...
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posted by ppgFireball
At قوس قزح Smash's place...

Armoni: -kicks ball into the net- ONE'S IN!!!

Starbright: aw s**t! Jimmy, can آپ help us over here.

Jimmy: i hate soccer.

Starbright: آپ hate everything.

Jimmy: true.

Rainbow Smash: ready to give up?

Starbright: shut up! that's why you're named after a pony! and you're boy! آپ sissy!

Rainbow Smash: oh....it's...on! -kicks ball to Flame-

Rose: آپ can do it big brother!!!! don't let him taunt you! you're awesome! that's why he's named after a pony!

Old Man: -comes out of his house- the hell is with آپ kids?! can't a man take a nap?! ya yipper yappers. -goes back into his...
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posted by Heidihi2
American Twi-hards — bad news…don’t get TOO used to Robert Pattinson frolicking all over the States!
It sounds like the heartbroken Cosmopolis سٹار, ستارہ won’t be hanging around here for too much longer!
R-Patz is getting ready to shoot his اگلے film, The Rover, an indie flick to be filmed in Australia and it seems like it’ll serve as a MUCH needed escape!
A ذریعہ revealed:
“Rob wants to get away for a while, and is looking آگے to filming in the desert in Australia. He needs some space.”
We’d say the land down under is pretty much as far enough away from Kristen Stewart as he can get, LOLz!
Sounds like Rob will continue to keep busy — and hopefully, keep his mind off his broken relationship — when he films Queen Of The Desert this fall and Mission: Blacklist اگلے year!
KStew on the other hand…well, let’s just say things haven’t been shaping up too well!