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posted by karpach_14
December 14, 2003

Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a تیتر in a ناشپاتی, ناشپاتیاں tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been مزید surprised یا pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted سے طرف کی your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French...
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i was sad one day
i was walking in the street
feeling sad and alone
the boy i have a crush on is my first best friend
and my other best friend
who's also a boy
to wich i say everything to
has a crush on me and just admited it
i was walking in the سٹریٹ, گلی
feeling sad and alone
my house is a little farther
and i'm actually enjoying the nice breeze
i take my آئی پوڈ, ipod out of my jeans pocket
and put john mayer's your body is a wonderland
and i buy some licerish
and i turn the volume up
and start dancing in the street
i get farther from home
to a little hill
and i sleep on the ground lookin up
there's no one اگلے to me
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posted by amethyst_14
Long ago, the moon lived on land, سے طرف کی the ساحل with the sea, the one she loved. She loved him bec. he was the only one who had appreciated her not just سے طرف کی her looks, and he was the only one, who had shown her her true beauty. Together, they would dance on the shoreline, back and forth, back and forth. And they lived happily ever after, یا so they hoped for amidst them watching, was the sky. The sky loved the moon just as much as the sea, but not for the same reason. The sky tried his best to immitate the sea, even taking parts of it and making them into clouds to make beautiful patterns in...
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posted by karpach_13
Ways to call someone stupid
If people think your disses are lame, your jokes are old, and your comebacks are just humiliating آپ more, you've come to the right place! This is funnystufflol's section of different ways to call someone stupid!

1. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching

2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal

3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity

4. A few beers short of six-pack

5. Proof that evolution can go in reverse

6. Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box

7. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead

8. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl

9. One ٹیکو short of...
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posted by simpleplan
Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.

What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.

In 1386, a pig in France was executed سے طرف کی public hanging for the murder of a child

The average person laughs 10 times a day!

12 newborns will be دیا to the wrong parents daily, on average!

The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year

The storage capacity of human brain exceeds 4 Terrabytes

According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored دن for self-destruction.

Cats sleep 16 to 18 hours per day.

The most money ever paid for a...
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posted by dinglebell14
I was like totally like walking like down the like, cotton candy road like 45 like سیکنڈ پہلے and I like saw a hot like dog and totally yelled, "Like آپ like skinny little like pot head like monkey." And then I like totally like kicked a puppy. Then I like went ہوم and like told my brother I like think he like is a like talking wierner with like talking wierner powers that like let him like mow the lawn.
That was like a like better like دن in the like life of a like polar bear.
P.S. ~ Don't آپ wanna mix cotton candy and popscicles!
posted by nessienjake
Here are some interesting facts.
A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.

A شارک can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of ingredients in the sauce.

A چوہا can last longer without water than a camel.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

A کشمش, مویز dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.

A person cannot taste...
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posted by seacat243

This is cute, but in one bit it is GROSS!!!

This chain letter is real
so follow the instructions
and something
good will happen!!


but this chain
letter is for real.
When Anne Wichert got it for the first time,
she ignored it and a week later the love of her
life dumped her for no good reason so
and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!

The Lovers of the دل

In order to form
a مزید perfect kiss,
enable the
mighty hug to promote
to whom we please
but one
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Hello everyone, it's me ShadowFan05. آپ know I haven't been on much since like the end of May. Well, the reason for that is because I went with my dad on the truck and I'm getting a new 2DS tomorrow because my 3DS XL won't connect to the internet. I've been trying to get a WII U, but I guess that won't happen 'cause I can't wait that long.

During my trip, I went to two new states: Massachusets and Conneticuit. They are beautiful states if آپ ask me. I'd love to go back sometime, but my dad is quiting his old job Purdy Bros. and working for Averitt Express the 11 of July.

Well, that's all I have to tell you. I'll see آپ around! :D

ShadowFan05 out!
posted by CorporalSununu
1. Appreciate your life... SB has almost no pay, his neighbors hates him, he is the living definition of being friendzoned, and his سست is smarter than him...yeah.
2. We learn how to sing... F is for friends, who, do stuff together!
3. We learn how to properly flip crabby-patties
4. We realize no ones ever gone into the sea looking for a pineapple
5. Eveyday is a good دن to wear a striped sweater!
6. We learn how to unsuccessfully plan to learn the secret recipe
7. We learn a pineapple actually makes a nice home.
8. Squirrels cam easily live undersea!
I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her ہوم because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
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Copy and pasted from: link


I really mean it! What would آپ be able to do if SOPA/TPP censors the internet? What would آپ be able to do if writing fanfics and drawing fanarts become illegal? What would آپ do if it's illegal to do a cover of your پسندیدہ song on YouTube? What would آپ do if downloading things from the internet (music, movies, TV episodes, etc) became illegal? What would آپ do if SOPA/TPP wins the war and takes away internet freedom? Net Neutrality is already dead so far, we can't risk the freedom of internet from getting killed سے طرف کی SOPA/TPP!...
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posted by PinkyoshiIS
Frequent use of strong language (fuck,bitch,mother fucker etc..)

.Mild sexual innuendos ( NOT full on sex scenes mor elike just really aggressive sex jokes and mild kissing scenes and maybe some aggressive make out scenes )

. VERY GRAPHIC AND IN DETAIL CONNTENT ( violence like really in detail violence and gore at some parts not very many parts but im a twisted human being so I added violence to the series XD )

.offensive jokes (self explanatory)

.Homo sexual relationships (if آپ are homophobic please don't read the chapters that warn about same sex Yoshi crushing یا dating its mostly just one girl character with a crush on another)
posted by Forgot_To_Laugh
My eyes surrendered to sleep at about 10pm. Suddenly, I heard an unusual creak, then another, then another. I looked up above at the portrait. It was slowly rocking from side to side. The young girl's mouth was moving, "Go away!" It seemed to be saying. I opened my mouth to scream, nothing came out. I wanted to call the guards, my hands felt too clammy. I wanted to yell so badly! "HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!" was repeating inside my head. I willed myself back to sleep, hoping for dear life. Then, all went silent and I breathed a sigh of relief.
posted by flippy_fan210
-when آپ ask someone for something and they try to annoy آپ because they have it and آپ don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give آپ work آپ have to do at ہوم and آپ have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your دوستوں call saying they'll come over and never دکھائیں up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own ہوم and being controlled سے طرف کی your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if آپ make one "dirty" یا "wrong" joke

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It's all the same
Only the names will change
It seems we're wastin' away

Another place
Where the faces are so cold
I drive all night
Just to get back home

I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted
Dead یا alive
Dead یا alive

Sometimes I sleep
Sometimes it's not for days
The people I meet
Always go their separate ways

Sometimes آپ tell the day
By the bottle that آپ drink
And times when you're alone
When all آپ do is think

I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted
Dead یا alive
Dead یا alive

Ohh alright

Oh I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted
Dead or...
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Now that you're gone, I can see
What was going on and how آپ lied
When آپ کہا you'd never love again

Your دوستوں telephone and they say
You weren't out alone last night
Can آپ see that this broken دل is killing me

Another night is falling
And now my دل is calling آپ back to me

Come back, 'cause I need your love
Back, got to have your love
Come back, bring your loving back to me

Come back, 'cause it's been so long
Back, and I can't go on
Come back, bring your loving back to me

You play with words, play with love
Always just your silly way
I'm a fool for I need آپ سے طرف کی my side again

Now it's too late...
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