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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with مزید than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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posted by cute20k
98
1. Dial a random number and confuse the person who جوابات سے طرف کی saying things like;
"Why did آپ call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up random statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a random مضمون like this.

4. At walmart یا somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, یا a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with...
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A
Abbess
Ablaze
Ace
Acid
Adamant
Aegis
Airspeed
Alaczar (Spanish: Fortress)
AlleyCat
Animus
Anti-Matter Man
Aqualung (guy with frog powers)
Arc
ArchAngel
Argus
میں armadillo, آرمدالو
Arsenal
Asmodeus
Astra
Atomaestro
Avion
Axe (a brick with an axe)

B
BackFlash
بیجر, بادگار
Ballistique
Banelord
Baron K
barracuda, بآرراکودا
Basalt
Battery
Bile
Billy Blue Blazes (a speedster)
Bird of Prey
Black Adept
Blackbody
Black فالکن (Brick/Martial Artist)
Black Light
Blackmane
BlackShadow
Blackthorne
Black بھیڑیا
Blade Song
Blast Off
Bloodletter
Bloodstone (a magic-based mentalist with a crystal...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
19
I don’t know what makes آپ so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told آپ to be yourself simply couldn’t have دیا آپ worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t آپ have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let آپ mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are آپ always this stupid یا are آپ making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like آپ before – but I had to pay an admission.

If آپ took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help آپ out…now, which way did آپ come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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posted by iluvsmj
59
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at آپ trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but آپ my friend!! yes you!! آپ CAN KISS MY ASS*******

If آپ didn't have feet آپ wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do آپ wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for آپ %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make آپ tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are آپ remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with آپ when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves آپ more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her دوستوں say i love her مزید than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers آپ know.
12.Strangers آپ don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to خارج above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the تندور on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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posted by My8thUsername
3
A/N: I love copy-and-pastes. Here's a enormungantic فہرست I did. 'Cause I felt like it. Oh, and they're not in any order. I just wanted to know how many I have. سے طرف کی the way, just because I copied them here doesn't necessarily mean they apply to me. I just thought they were cute/funny/awesome. After all, this isn't my profile...

1.98 percent of teenagers do یا has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. A/N: Never ever. And proud.

2.Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when آپ don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as...
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posted by mercedes_xoxoxo
24
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as آپ walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at آپ for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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posted by stickymonkey
9
1. Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 منٹ stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a love scene, reach over in front of آپ and cover a random person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your نشست and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person اگلے to آپ and say, “you never know”....
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posted by FloraorStella
11
Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to آپ say, "Why don't آپ speak مزید clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask آپ say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing شرٹ, قمیض sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS یا If آپ find a شرٹ, قمیض store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the food court and go to a fast food place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a میز, جدول singing elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as آپ can "I LOVE THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT دن AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until آپ see an old lady/guy...
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posted by sakurahanazono
1
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and آپ have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your کالر and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When آپ get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when آپ reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a spatula کے, گوندھنے and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
12
my friend sent me this text message a while پہلے and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask آپ somethingand i want آپ to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how آپ feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want آپ to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi یا Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ and switch the items with stuff from the person اگلے to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen آپ in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of آپ on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when آپ are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when آپ sleeeeeep.

13. Bye کہا Santa while eating Blitzen.