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posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I lost my phone, can آپ call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!...
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1: What eye color do آپ find sexiest?

2: White, milk, یا dark chocolate mocha?

3: If آپ could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

4: Did آپ grow up in a small یا big town? Did آپ like it?

5: Your پسندیدہ adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

6: What kind of اسموتھی, سموتی sounds really good right now?

7: Most embarrassing moment from your
elementary school years?

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

10: Pirates یا ninjas? Why?

11: Have آپ ever climbed a درخت مزید than...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with مزید than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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posted by cute20k
1. Dial a random number and confuse the person who جوابات سے طرف کی saying things like;
"Why did آپ call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up random statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a random مضمون like this.

4. At walmart یا somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, یا a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with...
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A
Abbess
Ablaze
Ace
Acid
Adamant
Aegis
Airspeed
Alaczar (Spanish: Fortress)
AlleyCat
Animus
Anti-Matter Man
Aqualung (guy with frog powers)
Arc
ArchAngel
Argus
میں armadillo, آرمدالو
Arsenal
Asmodeus
Astra
Atomaestro
Avion
Axe (a brick with an axe)

B
BackFlash
بیجر, بادگار
Ballistique
Banelord
Baron K
barracuda, بآرراکودا
Basalt
Battery
Bile
Billy Blue Blazes (a speedster)
Bird of Prey
Black Adept
Blackbody
Black فالکن (Brick/Martial Artist)
Black Light
Blackmane
BlackShadow
Blackthorne
Black بھیڑیا
Blade Song
Blast Off
Bloodletter
Bloodstone (a magic-based mentalist with a crystal...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes آپ so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told آپ to be yourself simply couldn’t have دیا آپ worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t آپ have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let آپ mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are آپ always this stupid یا are آپ making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like آپ before – but I had to pay an admission.

If آپ took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help آپ out…now, which way did آپ come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers آپ know.
12.Strangers آپ don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to خارج above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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1.Complane of sever stumic cramps until آپ are seen to سے طرف کی a dotor یا nurse then when they approach آپ say "wow doc i feel way better thank آپ " then for added crazyness walk out backwards

2. Run around screaming that آپ dont whant to see the dentist

3. One word for آپ flatulance

4. Ask repetedly if they are gonna operate on آپ

5. Pretend to be a doctor

6. Whenever a nurse passes make a swit swoo noise یا say "helooo nurse "

7. Run around the hallways wearing an alien mask

8. When the doctor comes kick him in the shin then say " HOW DO آپ LIKE IT HAHAHA "

9. Run in wearing a leotared your face...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the تندور on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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posted by BlackSunshine
I found this and I think some of them are hilarious xD

Prank Call Idea #1
This is an oldie and I have been the victim for the same!
You call up the person and ask for a person name Joey. Since there really is no Joey, the obvious answer would be, ‘You’ve got the wrong number’! Call up the person many times during the دن یا week and disguise your voice in varied accents and ask for Joey. After a few days, call up your victim and say, ‘This is Joey. Have آپ taken any messages for me?’ I am sure the person at the end of the line would probably want to strangle آپ with the telephone wire...
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Here are my فہرست of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let آپ know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything یا eating anything آپ might spit it یا something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the جھاڑو late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the خلیج, کھاڑی they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome دوستوں and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time آپ read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though آپ may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't love you, my love.

I loved آپ with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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Reasons why being a guy is so much easier than being a girl.
1.First off آپ aren't sick once a month.
2.You can't get pregnant so آپ aren't the one stressed on birth control , آپ do it and that's it.
3.You don't have to spend hours picking an outfit.
4.You don't have to spend hours putting your make up on.
5.You don't have to spend hours making your hair to stay decent.
6.You get ready to go out in just 30 منٹ tops.
7.You pee standing.
8.Your parents don't tell آپ at what گھنٹہ to be ہوم when آپ in high-school.
9.You can sleep every night somewhere else than ہوم as a teenager cause your parents...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are آپ listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do آپ like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks آپ to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks آپ to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your ہوم alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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posted by My8thUsername
A/N: I love copy-and-pastes. Here's a enormungantic فہرست I did. 'Cause I felt like it. Oh, and they're not in any order. I just wanted to know how many I have. سے طرف کی the way, just because I copied them here doesn't necessarily mean they apply to me. I just thought they were cute/funny/awesome. After all, this isn't my profile...

1.98 percent of teenagers do یا has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. A/N: Never ever. And proud.

2.Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when آپ don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as...
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posted by milorox18
Well here are a few reasons that girls like guys



1. The way they always wear their پسندیدہ cologne (which happens to be the one that آپ bought them for their birthday)


2. The way they run their hands through your hair


3. The way that they look at آپ and آپ want to die right then and there


4. The way that they casually put their arms around you


5. The way that they kiss away your tears


6. ...and the way that they then get mad at how they can't make your problem go away


7. The way they دکھائیں off around their friends, even though آپ both know that آپ would love them even...
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Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to آپ say, "Why don't آپ speak مزید clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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For my friend.
__________________________________________________

If آپ climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a بیل from the front, a horse from the rear یا a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean آپ have to offer it a place to sit down.

If آپ find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If آپ want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS یا If آپ find a شرٹ, قمیض store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the food court and go to a fast food place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a میز, جدول singing elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as آپ can "I LOVE THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT دن AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until آپ see an old lady/guy...
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