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10. ON VACATION: Who would آپ most likely want to be stuck on a deserted island with? Not someone who's just told آپ "it's not working out," we're quite sure. Not only have آپ now wasted your time and money, but آپ can’t leave the situation easily without added plane fares and stress. If this happens to you, break away and turn your trip into a rejuvenating self-improvement retreat... you'll need it.

9. IN A TEXT MESSAGE: Ah, the text. The modern-day version of the Post-It. Too wussy to do it in person? Text away, wuss.

8. ON FACEBOOK: Nothing like logging on to find your loved one tagged...
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1. well folks this will be an experiment for all of us

2. Oops! hey, has anyone ever suvived 500 ml of this stuff

3. nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

4. ya'know...there's big money in kidneys...and this guy got two

5. wait a minute, if this is his spleen,then what's that?

6.damm! there go the lights again...

7.what's this doing here?

8. that's cool! now can آپ make his leg twitch?!

9.boo! boo! come back with that! bad dog!

10. sterile schemerle. the floor's clean, right?

11. what do u mean he wasn't in 4 a sex change?

12. ok, now take a picture from this angle. this...
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1;run up the down escalator screamin I BELIEVE I CAN FLY
2;run around in circles screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
3;sit on the میز, جدول laughing hystariclly
4;say things that aren't words like goooagooa
5;when the میز, جدول is set for3 clear your throat and say آپ forgot mr.wiggles
6;dress in a chicken costume(if آپ have one)to go to school
7;stand still and just scream at the سب, سب سے اوپر of your lungs
8;when آپ eat رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا stare into space and when sombody talks act lik u dont hear them
9;play with your lips(move them around with your hands)
What Color Of Socks Are آپ Wearing?

Red = Loud
Green = Stupid
None = Freaky
Fuzzy = Gorgeous
Yellow = Innocent
Purple = A Little Too Happy
Black = Emo
Stripes = Funny
Gray = Ugly.
گلابی = Preppy
Light Blue = Sweaty
Other = Hot
White = Sexy

What Kind Of Pants Are آپ Wearing?
Shorts = Cutie
Skirt/Skort = Cheerleader
Corduroy = Weirdo
Tight Jeans = Scene Kid
Ripped Jeans = Emo
Cammo = Cage Fighter
Jeans = Prep .
Pajamas = Creep
Cargo = Clown
Sweats = Athlete
Boxers = Brat
Booty Shorts = Female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = Dare-Devil
Dickies = Weirdo
Bikini Bottoms = Tiki Girl
Other = Drug Addict

What Is Your Natural...
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posted by Tamar20
Have آپ ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this مضمون is right for you! Hahaha. آپ know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that آپ have to go to the bathroom, and that آپ think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are آپ doing okay in there?". To make it even مزید annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by Bananaaddict
Okay, though آپ can't necessarily tell سے طرف کی the title, this will mostly likely become a mindless rant at some point. It's gonna be about grammar. :D

So, this is "texting language" as I see it. Forever پہلے (okay, maybe several years ago), the only texting available on phones was the type...well, I'm not very familiar with phone terminology; let's say the type where آپ press the numbered buttons multiple times to get different letters. That's how text speak was born, since people didn't want to waste their precious time typing whole words (God forbid). Why didn't they just call each other, you...
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i didn't try any of this but readers don't try this stuff cuz u could get in a lot of trouble
and i made all this up my self

1. if your teacher asks u 2 get them a pop go get 1and on your way back shake it up like crazy

2. cosplay as iceland from hetalia and call every 1 dear brother

3. sit like L from death note does

4. call every 1 kira when your teacher tells u 2 stop say that sounds like something kira would say

5. when a teacher asks u a سوال u reply pasta

6. change your name every دن @ school and when your teacher یا some 1 else calls u سے طرف کی your real name say that's not my name and if...
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I'm putting two funny مضامین together in one, hope آپ enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would آپ know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what آپ need, and I'll tell you...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do آپ want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take آپ out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call آپ sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give آپ a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why آپ are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are آپ going through now?

"I love you, too." = Okay, I کہا it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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posted by bubblegumm16
Step 1. Guys like to see the girl's true feelings, so don't be ashamed to share them.

Step 2. دکھائیں the guy آپ like a side of yourself that nobody else has seen before, but don't give yourself away too much, یا you'll get every guy except for the one آپ like.

Step 3.Don't try to make the guy jealous. That might give him the wrong impression, and drive him away.

Step 4. When آپ are around friends, drop a hint یا two, about the things آپ like, so they can surprise you.

Step 5. Don't change for him. If he likes آپ enough, he will like آپ for he way آپ are.

Step 6. When he asks آپ to go on a...
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1.    When a stranger helps me pick up something I accidentally dropped
2.    When the DJ plays a song I requested
3.    Reading my old diaries/journals
4.    Hearing good results from the dentist
5.    Coming ہوم after being away for a while
6.    The fresh feeling after I wash my face
7.    Getting in line before it gets long
8.    Being in the car while its going through an electric car wash
9.    Finding out your having...
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posted by Ashley-Green

Why? Judge for yourself:
Research on روٹی indicates that

1. مزید than 98 percent of convicted felons are روٹی users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all روٹی was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. مزید than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He کہا he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I کہا "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give آپ the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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posted by Hinata-Snow
I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. آپ will never find anybody who can give آپ a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell آپ that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling آپ that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed سے طرف کی the federal government is entertainment.
5. آپ should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests آپ think she's pregnant unless آپ can see an...
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1) I can't reach my license unless آپ hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3) Aren't آپ the guy from the Village People?

4) Hey, آپ must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5) Are آپ Andy یا Barney?

6) I thought آپ had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer

7) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8) I pay your salary!

9) Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10) Do آپ know why آپ pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

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posted by ciaraluvsjustin
1.Grimace painfully,while smacking your forhead and say"Shut up all of you,just shut up!"
2.Crack open your اٹیچی, بریف کیس یا purse,and while peering inside,ask"got enough air in there little guy?"
3.Meow occasionally.
4.Stare at another passenger for a while,then announce in horror,"You're one of THEM!!" then back away slowly and scream until they get out of the elevator.
5.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
6.Make explosion noises whenever someone preses a button.
7.Drop a pen,then wait until someone picks it up and scream"THATS MINE.
8.Bring your camera and take pictures of everyone on the elevator.
9.When the doors close,say to the person اگلے to you"Its OK.They open up again"then give them reassuring hug.
10.Swat at flies that don't exist.
posted by ShiningsTar542
When آپ run into the guy آپ like at school, do آپ feel nervous and turn bright red?

That happens to some girls, and others start laughing nervously. Sometimes آپ try to start a conversation. And for sure no matter what, when the guy آپ like is close by, your دل starts beating fast.

What should آپ do when آپ are in this situation?

The first thing to remember is that not everyone is looking at the two of آپ when آپ talk to your crush. No one can read your mind and so don't act like آپ have committed some sort of crime. If آپ act nervous and weird he won't know that آپ like him!

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posted by hatelarxene
Since Shake it Up has ended (thank goodness), I've decided to write a review on it. This دکھائیں sucks. Big time.

Yeah... People of that moronic دکھائیں expect me to call THAT music? That whole song یا whatever the hell that was was nothing but auto-tune & editing!

They are awful actors, shitty singers (they don't even sing), and the characters are complete Mary-Sues! As for their dancing... please! All they do in that دکھائیں is اقدام around & look like a bunch of monkeys. I've watched plenty of solid dancing movies, & let me tell آپ that these dancers are horrible, and no way in hell...
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posted by LidiaIsabel
This مضمون belongs to link on Tumblr.

A quick run-down should آپ ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants آپ dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words آپ should YouTube, should آپ get the chance
-“Kevin بیکن in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see...
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سہارا to my friend, آپ know who آپ are, for the idea and the inspiration. Thank آپ so much, آپ are awesome :)

That's a word all of us have, یا will have, tried to accomplish. I'm pretty sure one of آپ out there's trying to be the سب, سب سے اوپر of the class یا سب, سب سے اوپر of your sports team یا getting the attention of someone یا trying to make your parents proud یا something. And I'm pretty sure once یا twice one of us has failed. We've all felt insecure at one point, felt misery, darkness and pain. We've all felt the need to take our lives away یا draw blood یا run away یا something of that...
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