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posted by Thecharliejay
2
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a دوستوں bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" یا "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by lloonny
6
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a دل attack. His دل isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first آپ don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on آگ کے, آگ with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by happyfreak
1
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she کہا it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written سے طرف کی a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As آپ will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by smileypop9
1
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
posted by karpach_14
3
Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like آپ for a minute, and then forget آپ afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are آپ doing something?” یا “Have آپ eaten already?” are the first usual سوالات a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: www.rinkworks.com
I thought these were funny, what do آپ guys think?


"Do not use if آپ cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping یا unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product...
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posted by KilledbyanAngel
10
Dear Twilight fans,
Edward is a FAIRY.
Sincerely, Logic
-----------------------------------------
Dear push down and twist medicine bottles,
Not every one can multitask.
Sincerely, I.need.my.meds.
-----------------------------------------
Dear teacher,
Why didn't I go to the bathroom during lunch?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO THEN!
Sincerely, Annoyed Student
-----------------------------------------
Dear iPod,
You fought bravely. But stay out of the laundry اگلے time.
Sincerely, Washing Machine
-----------------------------------------
Dear Parents,
I'm starting to realize that when آپ send me to my room after...
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Make your own sentence (be honest though);

Step 1: Choose your ماہ of birth...

January: I hate...
February: I ran naked with...
March: I need...
April: I shot...
May: I smoked weed with...
June: I killed...
July: I pissed on...
August: I fucked...
September: I got married with...
October: I stabbed...
November: I gave a blowjob to...
December: I took a crap on...

Step 2: Choose your birthday;

1: A monkey...
2: A prostitute...
3: A vacuum cleaner...
4: You...
5: Barney the dinosaur...
6: A dog...
7: Santa Clause...
8: A travesty...
9: A porn star...
10: A condom...
11: A bowl of cereal...
12: A jew...
13: A lesbian......
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posted by Wanda5
5
1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
2.For each question, press the اگلے button to get your answer

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
2.WHAT DO YOUR دوستوں THINK OF YOU?
3.WHAT IF آپ GOT SO MAD, THAT EVERYONE STAYED AWAY FROM آپ AND LET آپ HAVE YOUR SPACE FOR 4 DAYS?
4.WHAT IF THERE WAS A STALKER CHASING YOU?
5. WHAT WOULD آپ DO IF YOUR FRIEND BETRAYED YOU?
6.WHAT IF آپ SAW A BUNCH OF RANDOM PEOPLE/THINGS?
7.WHAT IF A MALE FRIEND DID EVERY THING AN ADULT CAN DO?
8.WHAT DO آپ WANT TO BE WHEN آپ GROW UP?
9.WHAT DO آپ THINK WHEN آپ SEE THE PERSON آپ LIKE?
10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
11.WHAT WILL...
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posted by j-bfan7
18
My name is Chris ,

I am three,

My eyes are swollen..

I cannot see.



I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made,

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly

, Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me.



I can't do a wrong,

I can't speak at all,

Or else I'm locked up,

All دن long.



When I'm awake,

I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.



I just heard a car,

My daddy is back,

From Charlie's bar



I hear him curse,

My name is called ,

I press myself,

Against the wall.



I try...
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posted by CullenProperty
11
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal; The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair & now... the wax.

Read on...

My night began as any other normal weeknight; Came home, fixed dinner, play with the kids.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the اگلے few hours; 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet...' So, I head to the site of my demise; The Bathroom.

It was one of those 'Cold Wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, آپ just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm & آپ peel them...
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آپ should never change who آپ are, یا what آپ like, یا your personality because someone else doesn't like it, یا looks down their nose at you... but sometimes it is important to know and to care about what others think of you.

For example... if آپ wear makeup, یا buy clothes that make آپ look good; if آپ are polite and آپ smile when someone smiles at you, then آپ care about what they think and this is a good thing.
If everyone کہا that they didn't care what people thought of them, then the world would be in total chaos. Respect comes from caring about other's opinions and what people...
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posted by Twilight_Dream
7
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4.Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."

7. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they...
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posted by Jeffersonian
1
These are purported to be actual test جوابات from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes سے طرف کی which water can be made محفوظ to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water محفوظ to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded سے طرف کی sky.

SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If آپ are buying a house,...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up سے طرف کی singing ساحل سمندر, بیچ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say آپ taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
2
1. "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.

2. "Take one capsule سے طرف کی mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.

3. "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

4. "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a مفن, چپاتی at a 7-11.

5. "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.

6. "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.

7. "Serving suggestion:...
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posted by patrisha727
1
Thanks to the encouragement from Jarik, I had enough time to find some مزید facts! Sorry if some of these are repeated! :S


No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half مزید than 7 times.

All swans in England are the property of the queen یا king

The first product to have a bar code scanned was Wrigley's gum.

Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God.

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her cheating adulterous husband but she may only do so with her bare hands.

The new 787 Boeing...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
1
(Before we start I would just like to point out that this is how to get CLEARER skin. I'm not promising that you’re going to get clear skin, because technically nobody has perfectly clear skin).



So if you’re reading this مضمون آپ either want to achieve and maintain clearer skin یا you’re just really bored.

First off let's start out with the basics....



Of course آپ should cleanse, tone and moisturize your skin 1-2 times daily.



-A cleanser is what cleans your skin. It removes the dirt, oil and makeup off your skin. Be sure to not wash your face مزید then twice a day, unless آپ were...
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-apple
-raped
-tree
-sour
-lose
-ask
-opinion
-weather
-racket
-enough
-ant
-zebra
-ate
-the
-monkey
-batman
-puffball
-name
-laughter
-muse
-water
-soap
-opera
-why
-weird
-gate
-still
-lost
-ran
-away
-creature
-devour
-paper
-domes
-fly
-until
-question
-unable
-superficial
-needed
-desire
-sorry
-apologize
-okay
-never
-happened
-again
-tomorrow
-dread
-caution
-able
-the
-end

I have absolutely no idea what that was. Did anyone read until the end? (Literally "the end") Yeah, I would've skipped a few words too. That isn't what normally goes on in my mind, since I don't think in singular words, and I was looking around the room to get the words to pop into my head. Did آپ get bored before "-the -end" and are not even reading this? Hello? Anyone there? Weird...
posted by Blaze1213IsBack
3
Hetalia Axis Powers
Hetalia World Series
Hetalia Beautiful World
Hetalia World Twinkle
Naruto
Naruto Shippuden
Attack on Titan
My Hero Academia
Btooom
Food Wars
Code Geass
Haikyuu
Sweetness and Lightning
Toradora
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Steins;Gate
Zombie Land Saga
Guilty Crown
Cowboy Bebop
Tokyo Ghoul
No Game No Life
Re;Zero
The Devil's is a part Timer
Noragami
Kamisama Kiss
My Little Monster
Ouran High School Host Club
Soul Eater
Death Note
Vampire Knight
Blue Excoist
Sword Art Online
Darling in the Franxx
Overlord
Death Parade
The Saga of Tanya the Evil
Is it Wrong to Pick up Girls in a Dungeon?
KonoSuba; God's Blessing...
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