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posted by bubblegumm16
4
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from آپ mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes آپ یا hits آپ *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to آپ first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her دوستوں house *prank call her*

THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes آپ *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets آپ wear his clothing *he likes آپ in his stuff*
7) If آپ are tired of waiting for him to make the first اقدام *make it yourself*
posted by justinfangrrl
2
Hello, and Welcome to my article; in this مضمون I will tell آپ about the environment, what's happening now, what will happen VERY soon if we continue to pollute the earth and what we can do to stop it.

I will also tell آپ about the Idle no more movement and the First Nations who are leading it; it's trying to save the environment, like me.

So read and enjoy; perhaps I shall educate آپ in a good way.

Everything in this مضمون is true and based on Scientific, religious and environmental research and up to تاریخ facts.

***

Remember when the whole 2012 thing happened? Yeah, that was funny... Here...
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1. آپ can name مزید types of cheese than clothing brands and know where to buy Limburger (doesn't mean آپ would!).

2. To you, a "big town" has 10,000 people in it.

3. The smell of cow manure right outside town doesn't get a سیکنڈ thought.

4. Everyone آپ know listens to country موسیقی like a سیکنڈ religion, and those that don't are just wrong.

5. When people تبصرہ on your funny accent, you're like, "What fucking accent? I sound just like you!"

6. When I say "Cheese Days", آپ know exactly what I'm talking about and where it is.

7. When a Californian said, "There's a person with a mullet!", you'd...
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{Sally's POV}


"I think i'm gonna settle this." Jane got up and ran inside the school.

"This is not going to end well." Me, Ben and scissor mouth said.

We all left the bench at the same time almost bumping into each other going into the building.

"Ben, what did she mean سے طرف کی 'settle this'? I asked him, holding his hand.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not gonna end well." Ben said, Letting go of may hand.

While we were walking we so Jane and Jeff.

We stopped where we were.

"Well, well,well. Guess who came crawling back!" Jeff said, playing with his knife.

"I CAME TO FUCKING SETTLE THIS!" Jane...
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posted by sideshowbobbart
16
1) آپ will go slightly out of your way to step on a crunchy looking leaf

2) آپ will check the Fridge to see if any food has magically appeared

3)You hate it when its all quiet and آپ are eating something crunchy

4) The guy who discovered milk...what was he doing to the cow?

5) When we were little, why were we so scared of our parents counting to three?

6) آپ hate it when آپ run out of hot water in the middle of a shower

7) It sucks when آپ are in the middle of a huge argument and realize آپ are wrong

8) آپ think of the best thing to say to your rival 10 منٹ after the right moment

9)...
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Step one: enjoy/love/like the show, book, movie, and/or band.
Good job, that's it, you're a true fan.

One thing that just never fails to annoy me is when someone tells me (or another person honestly) that they aren't a true پرستار of whatever it is they are a پرستار of for having a certain opinion.

One of the most common things I get is 'you're not a true پرستار because آپ like the villains more'. Okay no let's talk about this for a second; the villains are a crucial part of the story. Villains are what essentially gives the show/book/movie its plot. Without villains there is no conflict and without...
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posted by bvbmary15
2
1. “I love your physique. آپ must be very strong.”
Boys are very sensitive when it comes to their strength. Complimenting them on their body will boost up their self-esteem and آپ will become an instant hit for them. However, make sure آپ don’t use this on every سیکنڈ guy.2. “Have we met before یا do آپ have any hot twin brother out there?”
This goes without saying. Which guy wouldn’t like to be called ‘hot’?3. “Are آپ going to ask me out, یا do آپ like it when the girl makes the first move?”
This line is witty and very flattering. However, use it only when آپ are absolutely sure that the guy is interested in you.4. “You are just so funny. آپ always manage to crack me up”
Guys like it when a girl tells them that she finds them funny. It makes them feel good about themselves.5. “You hardly find good looking boys with brains out here. Are آپ an alien?”
Praise him for his wit and he’ll be yours just in a blink!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
4
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. آپ can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say آپ should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching ویژن ٹیلی سے طرف کی candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find ویژن ٹیلی very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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posted by Musiclover456
1. Do آپ sleep in your bra ; no
2. Does your dad know آپ like boys yet ; yes
3. Do آپ enjoy drama ; no!
4. Are آپ a girly girl ; not much
... 5. Small یا large purses ; ehhh I don’t carry much stuff so small
6. Are آپ short ; I guess im 5’ 2’’
7. Do آپ like somebody ; yes
8. Do آپ care if your socks are dirty ; of course
... 9. Do آپ like Halloween ; OF COURSE♥
10. Are آپ double jointed ; a little
11. Where is the weirdest place you've slept ; in the car
12. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours ; no
13. Is there any type of rumor going around about آپ ;not...
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posted by jodith
4
it's totally RANDOM...
**shale we start :P

1. Where were آپ 3 hours ago?
2. Who are آپ in love with?
3. Have آپ ever eaten a crayon?
4. Is there anything گلابی within 10 feet of you?
5. When is the last time آپ went to the mall?
6. Are آپ wearing socks right now?
7. Do آپ have a car worth over $2,000?
8. When was the last time آپ drove out of town?
9. Have آپ been to the فلمیں in the last 5 days?
10. Are آپ hot?
11. What was the last thing آپ had to drink?
12. What are آپ wearing right now?
13. Do آپ wash your car یا let the car wash do it?
14. Last food that آپ ate?
15. Where were آپ last week...
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed سے طرف کی funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed سے طرف کی funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the ڈاکو, ہڈ #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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posted by Alma_
5
Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do آپ know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' پسندیدہ Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a کشتی he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
posted by nessienjake
wow! I seriously didn't know that!
especially the Coca-Cola one and the coakroach >.<
wow I'll have nightmares!



Eating breakfast cereals like "Fruity Pebbles" and "Cap'n Crunch 'Oops All Berries" will cause your stools to be green.
(FACT!)

Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
(FACT!)

Pigeons are the result of crossbreeding between a seagull and a dove.
(fiction)

About 20% of all adults in the US have had a cockroach that called their inner ear canal HOME.
(FACT! They enter while آپ sleep!) (I did not want to know this!)

The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
2
1. "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.

2. "Take one capsule سے طرف کی mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.

3. "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

4. "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a مفن, چپاتی at a 7-11.

5. "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.

6. "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.

7. "Serving suggestion:...
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(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason کہا hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason کہا letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...
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So I am writing what I see people generally do when آپ stay the night with a friend. Sorry besties, but most of آپ do this. This also applies to siblings.



1. Play your موسیقی even if they don't like it.
2. Ignore them سے طرف کی reading manga, texting, یا stay on the computer
3. sing silly songs that make them mad then act surprised when they yell
4. leave the room every 10 minutes.
5. Don't answer their questions
6. take embarrassing pictures of them as they sleep
7. Act like a psychopath for fun and make them scream then laugh.
8. Be random
9. Laugh at weird times.
1. When he is asleep, put a CD into the boombox (Example, Raining Men یا Single Ladies) and sing along with it on maximum volume.

2. When he is playing an arcade game, look over his sholder and push a random button. Make sure he dies in the game.

3. When he tells آپ to do something, keep saying "And then" until he does it himself.

4. Put Toki's Teddy برداشت, ریچھ with him when he is asleep and tell Toki that Nathan loves it مزید than he does.

5. When he sings during a concert, jump on stage and tackle him yelling "I will, be sure to buy me a white dress." Make sure everyone heard.

6. If he is in the main...
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I want everyone who is having a bad دن to feel better and everyone who is having a good دن to feel better. The cure is puppies and dogs, who are cute. Just click the picture if آپ want a closer look at the awesomeness of dogs ( یا if آپ just want to make the picture larger)

That poor girl, but ارے a dog gotta go when they gotta go. Hopefully your دن is going better than hers.




آپ will never see the Pixar lamp the same way again.




The poor dog is in a cage, but ارے at least he is trying to get out. 10 dog treats for him.




That is just wrong, آپ do not steal another dogs...
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posted by karolinak1999
2
I'm saying this speech on he 4th of September 2013(unless the teacher forgets یا something like that) I am aginst 2 boys....my chances are okay...


"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen we are gathered here today to learn Irish, but we took some time off that to choose a new class leader.

For starters I would like to compliment my fellow rivals Atrio and Liam, for their good effort - Liam آپ even prepared a speech, very impressive

Now..I realise the privelage to have the honour torepresent your class, however I am confident that I will be a great candidate.

I'm taking part in this not only to add...
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posted by GDragon612
1
1) Go to a public place, and say "Idiot! Look at me!" see how many people look at you, they are now an idiot.
2) TRY TO LICK YOUR ELBOW!!!
3) Get up during class and just sit on the floor.
4) Give money to children in need.
5) Go up to your friend and say vioces tell me things evil things.
6) Do what آپ want.
7) Look at the person sitting اگلے to آپ until they laugh.
8) Put on red face paint, then walk around in public mumbling to yourself loudly 'No one wants to PLAY with me'.
9) Go to any store and carry a hammer. Sing wrecking ball to anyone that walks by.
10) Pretend your a doll and yell this...
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