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okay, on my 5 completely random things to do...

5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as آپ can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as آپ can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)

i recommend آپ try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
posted by 3nala
3nala said:
"Yo whazzup mah homiehs?"

{screams something incoherent about peanut butter}

"I like waffles with peanut butter."

{is bored}



{screams something incoherent about dynamite and bananas}

"Oh well..."

{screams something completely incoherent}

"Ooh look at teh pretty birdses..."



{starts humming to the tune of 'U Can't Touch This'}

{Stares down a digital picture of GIR, then screams something incoherent about tacos}

"How did pig tracks get on the ceiling?"

{sings 'Spider-Pig'}

{Screams something incoherent about exploding squirrels}

"I told the man I was innocent, but the gun in my...
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Don't cheat! :) DO NOT CHEAT یا IT WON'T WORK AND آپ WILL WISH آپ HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES! TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK آپ OUT. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT'S WORTH A TRY. 1st. Get a PEN and PAPER. 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT آپ ACTUALLY KNOW. 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON'T READ AHEAD otherwise آپ WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. ~ 2. اگلے to the NUMBERS 1 and 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS آپ WANT. ~ 3....
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The سب, سب سے اوپر six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as آپ have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command یا File Name" is about as informative as

"If آپ don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as آپ make a commitment to one, آپ find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
posted by kitkat709477
1.everyone around آپ has an attitude problem
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything آپ say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive آپ crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and آپ just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to مککا, عجیب الخلقت someone without a reason
12.if آپ start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if آپ were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give آپ 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so آپ know*
posted by HNismyfriend
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a brave who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This brave had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved,...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that آپ just wanna مککا, عجیب الخلقت in the face , then someohow , آپ end up in a relationship with them , آپ fall in love , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing آپ want to burn either (:]) Well if آپ still have feelings for that person im gonna help آپ get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap آپ guys (: , ohk so آپ could first start off سے طرف کی doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave آپ on آگ کے, آگ ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be دیا LIFE in prison without the possibility یا parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet ازگر refused to eat it was دیا three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD دکھانا Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the ازگر in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the ازگر failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf یا date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the اگلے time.....thank u all for reading this..and plz تبصرہ ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think یا relate to these, in some way یا another:

-When آپ forget someone's name آپ wait for someone else to say it so آپ don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't خارج my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and آپ are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are آپ kidding me?' even though آپ know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when آپ grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when آپ cheat,we hate آپ and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like آپ understand PMS,because آپ dont.So stop acting like it.

4.when آپ stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and آپ get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So آپ may as well stfu.

5.when آپ flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if آپ arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like آپ dont care.We want...
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1)Devise a secret code with your دوستوں then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask سوالات so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s سوالات in slow motion 2)Answer سوالات only with one word
3)Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” یا “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer سوالات in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."

7. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway آپ never take, یا teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see آپ crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person یا kindly...
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Like the عنوان says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My دوستوں کہا that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to عملی حکمت and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley آپ remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex آپ remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did آپ get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have آپ know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few سیکنڈ later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating آپ this way and آپ know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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User: Wendigo یا yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome یا disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious یا vile; an action that arouses disgust یا abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with آپ at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak آپ soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
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posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different سٹریٹ, گلی in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made آپ feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of ہوم that it always gave me. I also made new دوستوں immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a کیلا strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the فہرست آپ have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the کیلا peel. Bananas like to be wackos and دکھائیں themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if آپ are near a slippery...
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