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posted by Jeffersonian
2
Of 8th grade through College 'student reports':


Ancient Egypt was inhabited سے طرف کی mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an سیب, ایپل tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened روٹی which is روٹی made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments....
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This is سے طرف کی far the weirdest lists I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless...

QUESTIONS ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE

Here are some of the classic سوالات being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some جوابات that may be appropriate:

Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can آپ send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)

Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi ساحل سمندر, بیچ on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
(Germany)
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos...
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posted by boomerlover
5
1.A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde جوابات "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail"

2.Why did the blond پار, صلیب the road?

I dont know.

Neither did the blond.

3.A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish آپ guys could get your act together. Just yesterday آپ take away my license and then today آپ expect me to دکھائیں it to you."

4.A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the سب, سب سے اوپر of a burning building. Below,...
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1)At the movies: When آپ meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are آپ doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't آپ try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When آپ ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer مکھن Masala" dish good?...
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My name is Angela, and I'm in love with Jacob Black.And I have a weird talent. I can appear in places that I dream of and talk to people there!
I'm 16 years old and I go in "Forks High" high school. I met Jacob in one of my dreams, and after I moved in Forks I met him in real life.

Angela's POV
-Hey, anybody there?
Someone walked out from the dark. It's a boy. He was hot..Actually he looked exactly like Jacob Black..Hm.
The boy- Hey! What are آپ doing here?!
-I don't know. I just appeared here, and I need help. آپ see, I have this talent. What I dream of is actually reality. It's hard to explain....
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posted by blaise_jez
If آپ have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, آپ have $1.19. آپ also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the لنکن Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by miniabby33
10
Things to do when bored.
1 call all of your contacts on your phone
2 walk around your neighborhood and everytime آپ see someon say a compleatly random word like tacos
3 fake play a video game to annoy someone don't forget sound effects
4 dance to every song on the radio
5 walk around a public place with your pants pulled up like a nerd
6 hang out with old friends
7 have a چائے party like آپ did when آپ were little
8 write your name n a piece of paper over and over
9 play ding dong ditch
10 act. Like your alseep on a chair in public and scare everyone who comes سے طرف کی except old people


تبصرہ and I will make more
posted by jedigal1990
18
okay i know alot of people are going to get mad at me for this but to bad like آپ twilight شائقین keep saying anything goes on this spot so here it is.
I am so sick and tired of hearing about twilight on spots that don't relate to twilight i mean there is a million spots dedicated to twilight so why not post there i mean i realize this spot is for anything but i searched twilight on this spot and 6 freaking pages came up this is not a twilight spot and believe it یا not some people don't like twilight and we shouldn't have to always come across سوالات and ویڈیوز and fanpicks and pictures...
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Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps آپ out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if آپ can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...
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1. آپ can do whatever آپ damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. آپ can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. آپ can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. آپ don't having to think about birth control, calendars یا ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. آپ can go out and flirt as much as your دل desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet نشست issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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Reasons I Love You:

1) The way آپ stand سے طرف کی my side


2) The times آپ make sure nothing will harm me


3) How آپ always find a new way to "WoW" me


4) When I'm sad, آپ take the pain away with a joke


5) How آپ always look deep into my eyes


6) How آپ can make my دل melt with your soft lips


7) The way آپ hold my hand so tight


8) The way آپ never let my hands go


8) How آپ always watch out for me


9) They way آپ make sure I have everything I need


10) How آپ always know what to say when I get mad at you


11) When آپ buy me things out of the blue


12) How آپ say the cutest...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It should not be that difficult, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example.The name Coco-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-Kou-Ke-La. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "Bite The Wax Tadpole" یا "Female Horse Stuffed With Wax," depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "Ko-Kou-Ko-Le," which can be...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up سے طرف کی singing ساحل سمندر, بیچ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say آپ taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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My favourite شخصیات مشہور

1.Michelle Trachtenberg-She is just very cool and acts perfectly in 17 Again and Gossip Girl as Georgina :)))

2.Leighton Meester-She is a wonderful singer,great actress and woman and acts perfectly in Gossip Girl as Blair :)

3.Dreama Walker-She is a wonderful actress in Gossip Girl as Hazel.

4.Kate French-Love her as Nikki Stevens in The L Word :)

5.Rachel Bilson-Can I add more?An amazing woman,perfect actress,wonderful style,amazing way of behaviour and way of life.She is my role model

6.Bethany Joy Galeotti-She is great,acts perfectly as Haley in One درخت Hill,has some great songs and has an amazing character.

7.Maite Perroni-A great woman and a singer!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
5
1. "No stopping یا standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.

2. "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm ساحل سمندر, بیچ park circa 1950.

3. "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.

4. "All cups leaving this store, rather full یا empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

5. "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.

6. "Prescriptions cannot be filled سے طرف کی phone." -- On a form in a clinic.

7. "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.

8. "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided شاور ٹوپی box.

9. "Payment is due سے طرف کی the due date." -- On a credit card statement.

10. "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.

11. "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO آپ - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring آپ the news of fail blog sooner...

some of آپ may know but the rest of آپ probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your دن to دن FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most random posts of failed تصویر shots of failures گیا کیا پوسٹ سے طرف کی dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make آپ laugh! آپ can take failed pictures your self...
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The Premier Açai Blend™
MonaVie's delicious blend of body-beneficial fruits is designed to nourish your body with powerful antioxidants and...
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posted by milorox18
4
REMEMBER WHEN ...

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?

the worst thing آپ could get from a boy was c0otiEs?

Mom (was your hero)

and Dad was the boy آپ were gonna marry?

when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings

and Race Issues were about who ran fastest?

when "War" was a card game

and life was simple and care free?

 remember when all آپ wanted to do

WAS GROW UP?
posted by milorox18
10
A True Boyfriend:


When she walks away from آپ mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her

When she pushes آپ یا hit's you, Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her آپ love her

When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong

When she ignore's you, Give her your attention

When she pull's away, Pull her back

When آپ see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful

When آپ see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word

When آپ see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder,...
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posted by patrisha727
1
On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.

Every منٹ in the U.S. six people turn 17.

Ten tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 سوالات a day.

Blue and white are the most common school colors.

Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year.

In a normal lifetime an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat.

A new book is published every 13 منٹ in America.

America's best selling ice cream flavor is vanilla.

Every سال the sun loses 360 million tons.

Because of Animal Crackers,...
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