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added by DementedKitty

Source: memebase

تصویر

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funny

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This Random تصویر might contain سائن ان کریں, پوسٹر, متن, چاکبورڈ, نشانی, تختۂ چاک, سٹریٹ, شہر منظر, شہری ماحول, گلی, شہر ديکھا, and شہری سیٹنگ.

chillyneon, spongefan612 and 1 other like this

3

Jealous Quotes

posted by IloveMyLord

In jealousy there is مزید of self-love than love.
FranÁois de la Rochefoucauld
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
Robert A. Heinlein
There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.
Lope de Vega
Jealous people poison their own banquet and then eat it
unknown
Peace of mind makes the body healthy, but jealousy is like a cancer.
Bible
Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most کڑوا, تلخ of the emotions because associated with the sweetest.
A.R. Orage...

6

IF 4KIDS GOT HETALIA

posted by Me_Iz_Here

1) Scenes with swearing will be removed

2) All nudity scenes of France will also be removed

3) Japan is too "japanese" so 4Kids gives him blonde hair and blue eyes

4) All mentions of WW1 and WW2 will be removed

5) England's eyebrows will be too scary for little kids, so we give him thin eyebrows instead

6) All the Voice Actors will be American, and there will be no accents

7) Blood will be removed

8) Poland is actually a girl

9) Russia is removed because 4Kids are afraid of Russians (or anything that's foreign)

10) Prussia isn't a real country! So we'll remove him!

11) Neither is Sealand, so he is removed...

4

Weirdest Omegle Conversation I've Ever Had

posted by 214

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

Stranger: WOOF

Stranger: WOOF

Stranger: WOOF

Stranger: WOOF

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

Stranger: WOOF

You: meow

Stranger: WOOF

You: meow

You: NOT ANOTHER DOG! O_O

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!! 8D

You: آپ HAVE GOT TO BE KITTEN ME. T_T

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA I SEE WHAT آپ DID THERE!!! KI FUCKING SAW IT!!!! 8D

You: O_O

You: I AM A MAGICAL CAT.

Stranger: ZALDGFALDGASDFALDFGALDSFGASDA OH MY GOD. IM A MAGICAL BURRITO. WANNA...

2

survey

posted by dylin1

Time for some fun... lol twss

Body: TEN THINGS ABOUT آپ
1. Are آپ single?
Yeah.

2. Are آپ happy about that?
no

3. Are آپ bored?
YES

4. Are آپ sad?
Nah.

5. Are آپ Italian?
No...

6. Are آپ pregnant?
HELL NO

8. Are آپ cool?
The coolest person you'll ever meet!!!

9. Are آپ Irish?
Yeah

10. Are your parents still married?
Nope

TEN FACTS
1. Full Name:
Madylin Sage Duce

2. What are your nicknames?
"that girl who ______" fill in the blank.

3. Birth place:
Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada

4. Hair color:
Light Brown.

5. Hair style:
sheiber

7. Birthday:
august 8, 97

8. Mood:
chill

9. پسندیدہ color:
black,white,blue,purple,red....

2

How to get girls to notice guys.

posted by ultimatefredde

1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something آپ aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner یا later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what آپ really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, یا take her to dinner, also sometimes a card یا a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, آپ wont die...

4

who wants to play the weakest link?

posted by merlinfanatic

Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four سوالات to determine the level of your intellect.
Your جوابات must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating یا wasting time.
And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: آپ are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in سیکنڈ place.
In which position are آپ now?

Answer:
If آپ answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. آپ overtook the سیکنڈ runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the اگلے سوال try not to be so dumb.
2 : If آپ overtake the last...

8

Why Guys Love Girls ?

posted by JonasLuver1

Why Guys Love Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they kiss آپ ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though آپ both know she’s the most beautiful...

7

Funny excuse letters

posted by ilovetech29

1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a درخت and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...

3

Arnold Schwarzenegger (how it really happened)

posted by Schnusch

Just reading some of the Terminator Quotes through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!

Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash دن tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.

I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. آپ might get annoyed سے طرف کی it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.

5

Chuck Norris jokes

posted by lloonny

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a دل attack. His دل isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first آپ don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on آگ کے, آگ with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....

4

The Script to the episode Invader Zim:Nubs Of Doom

posted by invadercalliope

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids سے طرف کی their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....

2

How to be Random

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if آپ are TRULY random, آپ shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever آپ may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases یا monologues یا pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of دوستوں یا logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if آپ got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and آپ can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...

2

Bella Thorne's REAL ghost experience: from ASTROgirl magazine

posted by DxCFan123

"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and سے طرف کی brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in بستر and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...

5

Chuck Norris Jokes (when I say that I mean facts)

posted by Invader-Tak

(CREATED سے طرف کی RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

Chuck Norris can خارج the Recycling Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused سے طرف کی Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris can strangle آپ with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris once had a دل attack; his دل lost.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)

3

Mamma Mia Luigi

posted by yoshifan1976

Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse آڑو was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", آڑو told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. گلبہار, گل داؤدی hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...