When آپ See It

ارے this is the 5th episode of Nick Reviews! This is a very special review, as I shall review the most evil company...Video Brinquedo! Why is it evil? Takes plagiarizes every good kids movie! Here are some examples.

Offender #1: Gladiformers.

Do I even need to explain this one? It's a Transformers knock off that doesn't come from the Dollar Tree/Store.

link

Offender #2: Ratatoing

This movie rips off Ratatouille, a Pixar film. It pretty much has the worst animation, a terrible plot, and the voices are terrible.

Offender #3: Little and Big Monsters

Oh gosh, this rips off Monsters vs Aliens. The monsters...

(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason کہا hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason کہا letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...

Okay, first thing's first. Determine whether یا not آپ are actually in a horror movie. Let's weigh the factors:

* آپ are, most likely, a bored teenager with nothing to do.
* آپ are, most likely, considerably worthless to society.
* آپ are, most likely, an idiot.
* آپ have, most likely, attracted the attention of a maniac in the past 24 hours.
* You, for no reason in particular, are looking up hints on how to survive in a horror movie.

-----

The following rules apply universally to nearly all horror movies. Print them out and keep them in your wallet. Glance at them every five منٹ یا so. Memorize...

from the internet :)

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the اگلے car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The مزید it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...

Man: Where have آپ been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen آپ someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this نشست empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if آپ sit down.

Man: Your place یا mine?
Woman: Both. آپ go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do آپ do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: ارے baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do آپ like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...

The following dumb laws are, یا were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before آپ go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if آپ bail off and do something stupid یا try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...

Love and Marriage:

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where آپ have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow یا something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how آپ smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...

Just randomly found this:

1. Throw پاپ کارن, پوپکارن in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can آپ fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling پاپ کارن, پوپکارن that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get پاپ کارن, پوپکارن yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit اگلے to آپ because آپ invisible...

Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned سے طرف کی their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their ہوم in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded سے طرف کی mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...

1. آپ can do whatever آپ damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. آپ can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. آپ can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. آپ don't having to think about birth control, calendars یا ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. آپ can go out and flirt as much as your دل desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet نشست issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between آپ and the people in front of آپ while waiting in line.
Every time آپ pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind آپ in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let آپ off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, یا pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...

I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an مضامین on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I lost it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an مضمون about reasons why آپ should do pointe
1. آپ get to be taller
2. آپ can use them in self defense
3. آپ can... what آپ don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 گھنٹہ Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done سے طرف کی a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the دن of the...