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posted by TheRealSexyKate
1. When آپ get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why آپ were speeding, tell him آپ wanted to race. 

3. When he talks to you, pretend آپ are deaf. 

4. If he asks if آپ knew how fast آپ were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 

5. Ask if آپ can see his gun. 

6. When he says آپ aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 

7. Touch him. 

8. When he asks why آپ were speeding, tell him آپ had to buy a hat. 

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 

10. Refer to him سے طرف کی his first name. 

11. Pretend you...
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1. Go to a aisle (any aisle) pick up a item and say "gosh, WHO buys this stuff?!"
2. When someone takes a item off the shelf point at him/her and scream "(gasp) آپ چرا لیا, چوری کی that from me!"
3. Take fruits that are round, and start rolling them down the aisle
4. Go up to someone who works at the store and ask "um can آپ tell me where I can get some headphones for my IPod?" and see his reaction
5. Take a random shopping کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ and push it into a wall, یا shelf
6. Go to the eggs, make sure آپ have friends,and start throwing eggs at each other
7. Fake that your arm is broken and scream and wail
8. Go to the...
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added by 050801090907
added by vanillaicecream
I decided to write an مضمون because some حالیہ news was seriously pissing me off. (Actually my friend inspired me.)

This is an مضمون about misconceptions on First Nations and Native Americans. I decided to دکھائیں everyone how some of their ideals on native people are WRONG. (mostly in Canada, I don't know what goes on in America...)

I've had people ask me crazy things, and assume really STUPID things about natives that quite frankly are not true. How do I know? I'm a full native who's lived on a reservation her whole life. That's how.

If آپ تبصرہ on something آپ believe is true, then...
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added by alicegirl309
posted by saphire1031
The history of Canada: Chapter 1

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1. Take someone's shopping کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ and switch the items with stuff from the person اگلے to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen آپ in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of آپ on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. اقدام "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide...
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10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A آگ کے, آگ Extinguisher یا Mace if desired.)

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand...
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added by Phineaslover1
silly songs with larry
added by Quirnechia
added by Thecharliejay
added by r-pattz
Source: Explosm.net
Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you. Boy: Ok... Girl: What do آپ mean "ok"? Boy: I don't like آپ like that... Girl: Why not? Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time... From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell آپ later. Finally the girl got fed up. Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why آپ don't like me! Boy: Do آپ really wanna know why? Girl: Yes! Boy: It's because you're uglier than freaking crap! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!...
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added by cutiepie0310
The best song ever!