THE MATRIX

Ways to Annoy:
1.say a random word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a food they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy اگلے to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as آپ can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ and come out with ketchup all over آپ and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...

Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope آپ like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when آپ heard someone talking on the intercom, آپ fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give آپ a ride ہوم and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a مشروم, کھنبی and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...

1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like آپ know what you're talking about when آپ don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so آپ can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When آپ screw up, don't...

Researchers in the UK examined مزید than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A مہر walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner دکان - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell آپ what I love doing مزید than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...

1. When آپ get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why آپ were speeding, tell him آپ wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend آپ are deaf.

4. If he asks if آپ knew how fast آپ were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if آپ can see his gun.

6. When he says آپ aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why آپ were speeding, tell him آپ had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him سے طرف کی his first name.

11. Pretend آپ are gay...

" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All آپ Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's دل is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...

found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. آپ are going to fail the class completely no matter what آپ get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read سوالات aloud, debate your جوابات with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure آپ can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five منٹ into it, loudly say to the...