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 THE MATRIX
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the سب, سب سے اوپر of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long دن of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill کہا to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task سے طرف کی concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.

1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.

2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.

3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.

4. The UK population grew in مزید 2008 than at any time since 1962.

5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.

6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.

7. The smell of cut گھاس makes people happy.

8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.

9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.

10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.

Hopefully there will be مزید اگلے week.
added by LovableXNerd
Source: Google
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Holiday Inn, Charlestown South Carolina

Three women arrived in a Chevrolet Cruze. Two were sitting up front, while one was in the back seat.

Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith* We'll be right back. We need to get something important.
Edith: Leave the engine running.
Charlotte: *Nods. She watches the women walk into the hotel, then picks up her phone to talk to her mother*
Mom: Hello?
Charlotte: Hi Mom, شارلٹ here.
Mom: How are آپ doing?
Charlotte: Good. I made a couple of new friends, and I just became a member of this group called Social Justice Warriors.
Mom: Congratulations darling. I need...
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added by GDragon612
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added by KanonKyu
Source: Sweet photography پرستار art سے طرف کی me - KanonKyu
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added by tanyya
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posted by BellaCullen96
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake love notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near آپ falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the سب, سب سے اوپر of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already....
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS یا If آپ find a شرٹ, قمیض store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the food court and go to a fast food place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a میز, جدول singing elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as آپ can "I LOVE THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT دن AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until آپ see an old lady/guy...
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(WARNING: There is tons of cussing in this مضمون to emphasize my hatred for this song a bit more. If that bothers you, please leave now.)

Train, آپ did it. آپ FREAKING DID IT. After watching Drive By, I didn’t think it was POSSIBLE for ANYBODY to make a worse song than that.

Except maybe Ryan.

Seriously though, this song isn’t just bad. It’s nowhere near bad. To call it a terrible piece of shit would be complimenting it. I can’t describe the rage I feel for this song at all. And if I were to shred every particle of my brain molecules, destroying my memory in the process, just to get...
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added by SummerThunder
Source: Martz90