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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes آپ so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told آپ to be yourself simply couldn’t have دیا آپ worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t آپ have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let آپ mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are آپ always this stupid یا are آپ making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like آپ before – but I had to pay an admission.

If آپ took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help آپ out…now, which way did آپ come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If آپ have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your دوستوں come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary دوستوں that آپ ask their opinion of everything.

7. After آپ have your bath, لپیٹ, لفاف کریں a bath towel around آپ and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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added by BartyJrLvr
posted by ginny_potter_97
1.    Sell your old stuff at a گیراج sale. You'll clean out your room and make a little cash at the same time.
2.    See one of those big blockbuster summer movies. Bonus points if it's in 3-D.
3.    Make a bird feeder and wait for someone to stop سے طرف کی and check it out. (It'll probably be a bird.)
4.    Fill up some of your community service hours.
5.    Lay out سے طرف کی the public pool (with plenty of sunscreen on, of course).
6.    Set up your sprinkler in the backyard (or the front...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time آپ turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him یا her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he یا she has anything...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the تندور on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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Here are my فہرست of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let آپ know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything یا eating anything آپ might spit it یا something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the جھاڑو late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the خلیج, کھاڑی they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome دوستوں and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time آپ read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though آپ may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't love you, my love.

I loved آپ with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
1) Lick your best friend's foot for 10 seconds
2) Rub glue on your face and stick various things on it.
3) Go up to a random strange and ask them for $50 dollars for a nose job
4) Go to a public bathroom and sit on the floor and when someone walks in yell this "GO AWAY! CAN'T آپ SEE I'M CLEANING!"
5)Put on a strange outfit and stand on the side of the road and throw pretzels at passing cars
6) Go to Wal-mart and go to a worker and have a conversation that goes kinda like this
YOU-Excuse me. Do آپ guys sell like everything? WALMART PERSON- Yeah. YOU-So where can I find the cars? My son wants a...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are آپ listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do آپ like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks آپ to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks آپ to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your ہوم alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar آپ grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something یا someone

3. Go up to a random person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki random noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a فاؤنٹین, چشمہ run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to آپ in public about the...
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added by 27-5
Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to آپ say, "Why don't آپ speak مزید clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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posted by Mallory101
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with بیئر and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. اقدام your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask آپ say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing شرٹ, قمیض sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and آپ have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
posted by greenday82
This is TOTALLY random...but here's the فہرست from the "Funny Words" group on Facebook. Feel free to add your own


Hullabaloo
Sponge
Idiopathic
Bobbin
Bamboo
Poppycock
Persnickety
Irked
Queer
Flabbergasted
Frippery
Befuddlement
Haberdashery
Diphthong
Britches
Scrumptious
Sassafras
Gadabouts
Bazooka
Cockamamie
Egad
Frumpy
Claptrap
Pooch
Sack
Sag
Baffled
Bubbles
Noodles
Flagellum
Blimp
Napkin
Jiggle
Discombobulate
Fallopian
Pants
Follicle
Box
Bladder
Spoon
Centipede
Indubitably
Banana
Igloo
Waddle
Wobble
Sludge
Briefs
Trump
Gristle
Sprout
Turnip
Gash
Sandals
Crunch
Turd
Gauze
Goon
Manhole
Cockamamie
Noddle
Pudding
Strudel
Rubbish
Duty
Guava
Smashing
Hunky
Inevitable...
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1. Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

5. آپ have to tell a guy what آپ really want before he gets the message clearly.

6. Guys love their moms یا grandmas.

7. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

8. آپ can never understand him unless آپ listen to him.

9. Beware. Guys can make gossips...
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