Riku114 Wall

·21-30 کے 4838 دکھانے اندراج دیوار

Riku114 کہا …
Me: Okay its 11 AM what are we supposed to be going? *checks calendar*

Me: .... the calendar is blank until 6 PM

Me #2: Ya know we planned to like... ya know, have an easy دن on the weekend?

Me: .... OKAY THEN. LETS GET DOWN TO RELAXING AND HAVING FUN. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY یا DO

Me #2: Can آپ like... not be so extreme and just relax when relaxing گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Deep breaths, relax muscles, lower shoulders, and just do whatever~ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Also I officially #100%ed Hijikata and Saito and I totally have... 26.1 hours on the game XD Im officially 1/6th way done with the game گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Im going back to get Hijikatas bad routes before starting another and I just remembered again how much he needs to stfu and stop being me گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I really miss my flock tbh. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Its been way too long since I got to hold a feathery friend. I hope we get to hold the chickens in the chicken lab for my animal science lab اگلے week پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Cos Imma die if I cant hold a feathery friend for one مزید week پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
University: Here آپ have a $755 Refund Check to pick up

Me: .... i do? What for? I mean Il ltake it but idk why

Me: *going through financial papers and stuff* OH آپ GUYS DIDNT PAY ME MY WHOLE GRANT EARLIER SO THIS IS MONEY I HAD BUT DIDNT KNOW OHHH THATS NICE

Me: Well at least that makes sense. Alright time to account it into my budge-

University: *literally one گھنٹہ after I picked up that one* آپ have a refund check to pick up

Me: ???? WHAT FOR??? گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im getting so much money from the یونیورسٹی I dont understand why Im getting it. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Maybe this one is the small student loan یا something? یا maybe its the downpayment on dorm paid back or...??? پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Tbh I was $400-500 above my budget I was دیا and thus adding an unexpected $755 made me around $1200 saved and who knows how much the اگلے one is .-. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Also everyone says Hijikata is originally cold, mean, and an asshole of sorts but like... I never really saw that and I dont know if thats everyone having differnet opinions یا a commentary on me since I relate to him XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Too many good Hijikata Icons. I was gonna go for Halloween but got distracted. Maybe Ill give him a witch hat گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Me: Imma google how to relax

Roommate: آپ go do that. *goes off to the bathroom*

*two منٹ later*

Roommate: did آپ figure out how to relax?

Me: No

Roommate: .... get off the UC Davis hatchery page, yo uare supposed to be relaxin- no close the میل ای too

Me: .... ..... *legit didnt realize she was not relaxing and now feels dumb* گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I officially accepted that I have a genuine friend irl and thus also decided to give her the irl best friend at the same time and thats honestly kinda weird for me.

...

... i dont know if i like this XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I feel a lot of آپ underestimate how horrifically bad I am at actually establishing meaningful connections with people IRL and then actually recognizing and accepting it rather than denying it and negating the 'meaningful' part because I refuse to let it count cos of my discomfort into getting invested into friendships پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
But TBH shes one of the only two not-boyfriend, not-therapist, not-oldest-sister people I know IRL that I am even remotely comfortable being my purely natural self and we still are in contact even after having not seen each other in two months and tbh shes pretty cool پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
#GayPTSDBuddies پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Im annoyed سے طرف کی the amount of M&Ms in my trail mix گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I know Im weird پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
WELP. I apparently also do dissociative fugue XD The one dissociation thing I claimed to NOT have I apparently have for ffs XD

My new therapist was like "You do A LOT for being dissociated so it sounds a lot like a fugue if آپ ask me". Apparently آپ dont have to have that whole complete memory wipe / shock when آپ come back from a fugue and apparently my selective amnesia and constant casual autopilot-dissociation is likely a mild but still active dissociative fugue ffs XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
But fuck man I got therapy homework to "relax" rip me پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Rihanna312 کہا …
https://www.facebook.com/pubity/videos/767156683615418/ گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
XD Thats hilarious پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ کہا …
Wait...who is Nomy? گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
Guys, check out my new سوال on the random club xD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
8theGreat XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
I see xD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Nomy: "Doing my job stuff so I might be slow to respond so sorry XD"

Me: "Its cool XD I was just mostly rambling here. And looking at birds"

Nomy: "When are آپ not looking at birds"

Me: "good point" گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
^ A good point indeed lmao !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Lowkey having way too much fun with the thing me and Nomy are casually working on as a side thing together tbh. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
YES MY 7-10 PM CHEM LAB GOT CANCELED COS THE UC SYSTEM IS EXPERIENCING A STRIKE. HALLELUJAH. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
So I managed to match with a therapist that does have experience with trauma and dissociation so that should be interesting. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
So anyways, we did the away game and what not well and stayed up from 10 PM until 3 AM until I had to let my boyfriend go which lowkey really made me kinda sad to see him go since it was honest to god the first time none of my mental health crap was constantly pressuring me (Constantly but not majorly; present but not crushing) and I didnt really wnat him to go.

Woke up the اگلے day, had the banquet and senior speeches and what not گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Then we got on the bus to head back to our یونیورسٹی but only got like.... 20 miles out before one of the busses started majorly leaking oil and eventually catching on آگ کے, آگ in the form of an engine fire. That ended up making us stranded سے طرف کی a beach. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Then we all agreed (quite enthusiastically as if we hadn't just been told we were stranded for two hours) to "rally at the beach" which pretty much means to play موسیقی and have a band version of a party on the beach. Pretty much did that for three hours straight. Apparently a couple whose son killed himself a week پہلے forced themselves out of the house to check out hte ساحل سمندر, بیچ and smiled for the first time since because of us, our energy, and overwhelming positivity پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I might لوڈ اپ some ویڈیوز onto youtube XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
IM BACK HOLY SHIT XD

Our bus broke down and we didnt get a bus until midnight and then had a 5 گھنٹہ drive back XD Plus I had a cold but tbh it was a lot of fun and I needed it XD After I get food and laundry done I might ramble مزید on it if people are interested but it was quite a fun adventure with the band XD

Oh yeah I was at an away game that had us in a hotel over the weekend btw. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
that was unexpected news but ارے glad آپ had fun xD yes مزید please.. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
GDragon612 شدہ تبصرہ…
yyyyyyyyyyoooooo finally back!!!, but i am happy too آپ had alot of fun<3 پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ کہا …
Riku why u no have time xD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Cuz Im a bando XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
:D پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
GDragon612 شدہ تبصرہ…
hahahaha XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Fyi Goodbyes are still 200x harder than just cold turkey یا any actual parting گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
^This is in relation to the fact I got to see my boyfriend two nights پہلے and had to part as well tho on the same دن XD It was harder than I thought it would be پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
My relatable character فہرست is really hard to rank at this point XD Also I moved a few to an "EX-Relatable" فہرست since I was feeling some really didnt match up to the standard the فہرست held گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I also now added Tiers so I could place them مزید generally into Three Ranked boxes rather than trying to compare two really close ones. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
The Tiers arent really ranked inside the tier but First is higher than سیکنڈ which is higher than third پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
HIJIKATA GOTTA STOP DOING THINGS AND SAYING THINGS SIMILAR TO WHAT IVE DONE AND کہا FUCK OFF گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
ALSO CHIZURU STOP DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE ME. آپ TOO CAN FUCK OFF XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I might just go eat my پاستا bar and glare. XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Hilariously hes also nicknamed "Demon Commander" سے طرف کی his دوستوں and subordinates which is very well paralleled سے طرف کی the fact everyone in my old band called me "Satan" XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly I'm not too good at دکھانا affection out of the provider method. Providing gifts, money, aid, help, and all that stuff. It doesnt really work well for people that dont want it یا people that dont understand that type of affection, but its just the most natural and comfortable one for me.

Im also pretty good at the method of spending quality time, but I also feel that flies over people's head a lot since I have limited time so my 'quality time' often isnt long گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im usually busy so cutting out like... half an گھنٹہ یا an گھنٹہ to just آپ really says something پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honest to god my boyfriend is the مزید sweet thing ever. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
*most sweet پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im the luckiest to have him in my life پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Ah yes. The 4 AM call time for a football game in Marching Band. Sounds about right. XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Lowkey feel a little bad cause people are comparing their schedules to mine and feeling lazy but that REALLY isnt fair. I keep myself busy sometimes as a bad coping mechanism XD Being busy is usually easier for me than being free گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Oh huh. Thats the first time I کہا that since I turned 18.

I guess Im finally / officially 'legal' now XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
FUCK IM NO LONGER #TEAMTEENAGER ON FANPOP XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Well.... "Teen"ager comes from the "teen" part so Im still a teen until Im like.... 20 XD So I still kinda am? پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Its weird tho XD Being on here since I was like 11 almost 12 makes it odd being moved a biiiiit into the older group. TBH not THAT old since there are a lot of older people still on here but yikes XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Im 18 and take 6-7 pills every morning. What am I 60? گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
آپ are 11 سال old cat xD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Hijikata is too relatable tbh XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Welp that Chem midterm had to be on of the easiest tests Ive taken in a while گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Also I was debating between the conflict in my own values and ideals the fact that one of my closest college دوستوں currently does drugs (which I am firm against myself; but I have had online دوستوں that abused it so now that I think about it I should have no problem with it XD) but from what Ive heard and seen so far, shes rather responsible about it and doesnt push it so I suppose its fine. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
My firmness on that value of mine hadnt had such a direct سوال to my decision of people to be around and to choose to be دوستوں with since those that did do it that I was دوستوں with did it after I already took them as longer term دوستوں so something like that was a matter of concern for them rather than decision making on my part پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
But personally, as much as I disagree with the usage of drugs and what not, as long as people arent in my face about it and trying to get me to take part and they themselves arent harming themselves with it یا their behavior while on it isnt harming others, then its not really horrible. Everyone's life is their own پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
Same as Zeppie and agree !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly I really like my Microecon professor XD I mean Ive always loved Economy - both Macro and Micro - but he just makes the class great. Both a wonderful professor and just person in general XD Plus with my love for participating, tendency to sit in the front, and the small conversation I have with him before and after class Im on pretty good terms with him too XD

But lowkey my پسندیدہ class to go to (until we get to Poultry in Animal Science prolly) گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Imma wanna die the اگلے two weeks XD

I have 9 hours of band practice this week, then an all weekend marching trip, two labs, and a midterm XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
omg

"arrrghh my head"

Youtuber: "Yeah آپ should just amputate it" گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
GDragon612 شدہ تبصرہ…
ouch XD , get well soon Riku~bun<3 پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Nah XD That wasnt at me it was a thing in the game he was going through پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
GDragon612 شدہ تبصرہ…
hehe thats good xD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
extraverted Sensing (Se) (30.2)
good use

introverted Sensing (Si) (25)
average use

extraverted Intuiting (Ne) (29.3)
average use

introverted Intuiting (Ni)      (34.3)
good use

extraverted Thinking (Te) (43.6)
excellent use

introverted Thinking (Ti) (30.3)
good use

extraverted Feeling (Fe) (20.7)
limited use

introverted Feeling (Fi) (27.2)
average use

TEMPERAMENT: Theorist گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Oh the Temperament was a different wording for the "Rationals" "Idealists" etc etc پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
But yeah that felt like probably the most legit of the tests out of the ones I took پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Fuck I was gonna record it but decided against it and now wanted to post it on my دیوار but now I cant find it :v

Anyways there was a Hijikata quote along the lines of "If I find myself in capable of doing a task, it is my responsibility to delegate it to someone who can." گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Personally thats the great thing about communications, having people around آپ with diverse skills, and - in the larger spectrum for like nations and what not - trade. Time is very limited and one cant spend their whole life learning literally everything (against as much as I talk about it and seem to try to XD) so some things have to be passed up. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
AND THIS ALL STARTED FROM ME THINKING ABOUT A HIJIKATA QUOTE پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I hate myself XD (not really) پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Hijikata is also pretty relatable. Saito is مزید specifically relatable while Hijikata is مزید generally relatable گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
WOOOOO DORM TO MYSELF. God its been so long since I felt as free as this XD I love my roommates but as the گزشتہ post on this دیوار said, my mind just automatically assumes that they serve a presence like my parents so like... yeah XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly the thing about PTSD that I didnt really fully notice until I went to college is how it just makes آپ have a constant sense that where-ever آپ are and regardless of what facts آپ present, there is a massive tag on everything that marks it a threat / possible danger.

Like I find that my dorm honestly feels exactly like it did when I was back at ہوم but there is NOTHING here actually to give it that feeling گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Likewise, the college itself does as well outside of learning. I just suppose it hasnt fully occurred to me because when I felt that constant presence of a threat that isnt there was when I didnt know / accept that I had PTSD and when I did know / accept it, I had my boyfriend around me at least an گھنٹہ almost every دن پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
And as cheesy as it sounds, I can honestly say the only place I felt normal - at least in terms of sensing a threat یا anxiety - and safe. When I am around him, there is no levels of filters watching every word and every gesture and every thought and everything. Im fully genuine around him because my brain goes "Oh look. We are good and safe. No worries, feel free" cause he just makes me feel safe. HE doesnt really do anything too actively. HE isnt over protective یا take up my inner routines to protect myself from a nonexistant threat. Its just that hes there and its like a safety net یا harness. آپ wouldnt go on an obstacle course 200 feet in the air without one of them, but when its there and دیا سے طرف کی a company آپ can sue, آپ are much مزید okay with it پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im charismatic, smart, driven, good at applying myself, and considerably successful and just looking at the stats Ive got everything going for me way better than him. But honestly, its like people being amazed at the درخت and how beautiful it is without looking at the very soil, water, and nutrients that even let it be that. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Ughh XD Im sad now. Im hearing the band practicing field دکھائیں for tomorrow's football game that I didnt sign up for cos I figured Id be exhausted but now that I hear them its giving me good old memories to late night practices and now I wanna be there XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Today was a fucking shitty day. 10/10 would NOT recommend گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Hijikata is great XD Saito seems مزید fitting as a partner in my opinion but Hijikata is a great character XD I seriously love his casual cursing being part of the smaller details of his characteristics XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Oh shit one of my options for a therapist is trained in EDMR therapy XD I dunno if I wanna go for it though cause I dont really know if its the type of processign and recovery I want to go about but that therapy is like a really rare type to see گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
It really shouldn't feel as odd as it is to be دیا normal friendly attention and to be treated as a normal person as it does. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
IRL I mean. I have a lot of online دوستوں I feel give me that too پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
WHY IS BUDGETING TO MUCH FUN? گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
2ntyOnePilots شدہ تبصرہ…
*too I’m sry, couldn’t help it. Argh.. plz don’t @ me, ik I’m hypocritical پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
It was actually supposed to be *So پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Also 7-10 PM Chemistry Labs was a mistake گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
And people are starting to notably notice that Im ahead of most of the class even when Im in a large یونیورسٹی XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
College is the ability to say "You know this professor lectures 4x slower than I can learn سے طرف کی reading myself and I have a TA and discussion classes to work through anything I might not know so fuck this lecture" گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I have a midterm for Chem (not really a midterm cause I have two cause they dont understand what the word 'midterm' means) اگلے week and tehre are two مزید chapters to cover and Im pretty sure I could cover the two chapters on my own and start doing practice tests in the time itd take them to cover the single first chapter today پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Personally I think I like Pokemon partly because Im an animal lover and the fantasy of being in sync with your pets much مزید like companions and partners and going into battle with them just sounds like an awesome relationship.

Of course a large part is being raised with it, but my animal lover, my combat obsession, and my love for fantasy just kinda melds together as well. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I suppose to animal lovers, it depends if آپ see the battles as forcing them to fight یا as working as a partnership to fight that makes آپ سوال it. Also I like to imagine pokemon less in the "I wanna be the Pokemon Master" way, and مزید in just like a world of Pokemon and conflicts and stuff going on and stuff. A more... mature and stuff orientated type پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
HArd to explain but I dunno XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
I feel the same way when it comes to that matter !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
My hair is so good for hair / head banging گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
Meow پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
GDragon612 شدہ تبصرہ…
headbangs with Riku❤ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I am honestly so sick of shitty fucking service management and help in the mental health department of fucking everything. Fuck Kaiser and maybe now also Fuck Davis گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I love Davis but fuck their whole student care. Im paying for insurance yet have to struggle to book a single fucking appointment with therapy یا psychiatry. I have STILL yet to get one despite all my efforts پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Poor service in the mental health department isnt even funny in the slightest anymore پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Not that it ever was پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT JESUS CHRIST پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Linkin Park is a real headbanger.

Also for those that wonder how well I hide emotions and even major breakdowns, Ive had two full breakdown and like.... three یا four almost breakdowns and none of them have been noticed سے طرف کی my roommates یا bandos who have been around me pretty much 24/7 گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
I know how that is very well !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
And yes. Linkin Park rocks. It still remains one of my پسندیدہ Bands !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
2ntyOnePilots شدہ تبصرہ…
Linkin Park rocks! (Literally) I’m glad I’m not the only one who still gets a kick out of their music. (R.I.P. Chester) پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I still hate when my mind randomly reminds me how ruined and stolen my childhood and teenhood was stolen from my family situation and mental health. I usually accept it and can think about it and grow from it, but sometimes my brain just hooks on it in a form of comparison and just get really envious and sad and tries to drag me back into grief over it. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Its one of the things that I still almost definately need موسیقی to block out. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I was video chatting with my boyfriend when I took a two منٹ break and something just brought it back and now Im just kinda really tense trying to block out the thought cause its not good for me to think about and if I think about it my mind starts going down a bad track and I start dissociating but even when Im playing موسیقی to block out the bad thought train, I still am tense af and my body still wants to be anxiety ridden پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I really do need to figure out therapy though so I can actually continue to work through things پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Personally for a while, I spent a lot of my life kind of lost in my own mind and just living in the worlds in my head and even in a reality slightly warped یا rather wrapped in a veil of distance and separation. It felt so separate from the world.

I would have this sense of companionship and socializing talkign to online دوستوں 24/7 while pent up in my room, rarely actually talking to anyone. A life that was perfect and a well developed and stable personality گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
While not knowing the first thing about myself and while being a mental health mess in a toxic family پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
It was honestly a bit of a false reality and while it may have felt really good from time to time, I feel that its good that I got my reality and the TRUE reality to match up and work on actually taking part in the world پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I am not to say that دوستوں online are not real دوستوں یا they dont provide companionship, however its hard to say that it fully fills the role when there is nothing in the actual physical world to be around پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
If I were to say anything, it was probably a lot easier, مزید peaceful, and fun to live like that and honestly sometimes there is a deep longing to go back to living like that, but this seems better - as مزید difficult as it is پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Welp I finished Saito's route and like.... I dont wanna go onto completing ANY of the other 12 rn cos I love Saito and that story worked so well it doesnt feel like the others could compare XD

Im sure they are great but Id feel wrong moving on so fast so I might take a few days break یا something.

Saito is great though گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
14 hours of game play and there is 11 other main routes XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
Welp, it is reasonable. Give yourself some time to reflect on what آپ have went through before آپ jump straight into the other Routes XD !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Saito is so making my relatable characters فہرست XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Sometimes, I honestly feel like if Im not of use to people, I really am not wanted, needed, یا worthy of attention / affection یا whatever.

I am very aware that it isn't true, but I can't say I am not taken off guard یا uncomfortable when I realize someone is liking me not for my skill in anything یا my intelligence یا my ability to help them, but just rather for me and myself and...

Its just weird گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I kinda relate to Saito in that matter پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I was actually having رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with one of the other trumpet freshmen and for over half of it I was internally struggling to comprehend the fact that I neither was amazing at the trumpet compared to others, havent shown off any particular academics, یا really anything useful to them yet.... they still treated me and seemed to want to welcome me into being دوستوں regardless and it just didnt seem right یا to make sense XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
XD Thanks guys. Its not really a major concern but مزید so a reflection / analysis / observation I noticed on myself and felt like rambling about. It is just something that I noticed and one of the things that resonated strongly with me when a similar topic was beign discussed in Hakuoki XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Lowkey in a huggge رامین mood since I cant go to the dining commons but also not wanting to spend money

Id kill for like... legit ramen. Like legit cooked ramen. The real delicious good shit. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
GDragon612 شدہ تبصرہ…
رامین I WANT ALOT*_* YUMMY!!!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
ALSO FUCK HAKUOKI SLIGHTLY XD

It makes me miss my boy مزید XD Cos Im like "Aww... this is such a nice romance cute thing... I relate case of my boyfriend... BUT HES NOT FUCKING HERE AND ITS BEEN LIKE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AND I WANT HIM BACK. GIVE HIM BACK TO ME." گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Honestly, I just kinda like having him around because I get a nice sense of security that makes it so I dont have to be well in check 24/7, looking over thigns 24/7, being responsible and controlling everything, and jsut all in all being a really spectacular, responsible, hardworker all the time. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I mean its GOOD when I am doing that and it REALLY doesnt drain me too much to be like this 24/7 cause its honestly just a different mode of sorts and doesnt really take much energy for me to keep track of everything and stay on task and everything, but I really do enjoy occasionally allowing myself to be stupid, to make mistakes, and to not have to look far ahead to make sure everything is going exactly as I plan / want it to and all پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Still tho. I love Hakuoki پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Hajime Saito > Hajime Hinata

I love both but Saito is great گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
Hajime Ichinose > EVERY other Hajime so far !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
"All too often, doubt is little مزید than a poison" ~ Saito Hajime گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I burnt my self out helping my roommate with basic Chem that I just had a major energy and mood crash the سیکنڈ a minor inconvenience occured in my work when I started it at night

Whoops گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly the great thing about a well done Otome game is it gives آپ a small, short version of the feeling of falling in love all over again. Its not as long lasting, and its not as intense, but for a short moment when playing it, آپ just get the rush and softness for a منٹ یا two where آپ are like "Ah... Love"

Not enough to where آپ fall in love for real, but enough to get the feeling of being loved and loving. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
So it seems the first game "Kyoto Winds" is مزید of the set up and is much مزید linear even with the different romancable options and then "Edo Blossoms" is the سیکنڈ half where آپ start right away getting to be offered which route گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Its just kinda nice being as busy as I am to be honest XD Makes keeping my club up and active harder but still lets me have fun and what not while still feeling like Im making progress in my life

Oooooh

I think I get to sheer بھیڑوں, بھیڑ this Friday سے طرف کی the way

#Hype گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
Relatable !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Apparently I am matching with Saito مزید just with my natural decision choices XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I wonder how much Ive read in Visual Novels in my time... گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Hakuoki plays a lot better than I expected XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly... People assume me to be much مزید in control and independent than I am - یا at least مزید than I comfortably am. Im driven and perseverant and all, but I really dont like doing things Im completely unfamiliar with alone and I dont necessarily know how to do everything. I mean, that is normal for people, but it seems like almost everyone but maybe my boyfriend and maybe my oldest sister realize that. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im great at leading when its somethign foreign that Im somewhat used to یا something similar to something Im familiar with and all, but when its completely unknown, I really love to have someone actually help me out. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I can get pretty easily overwhelmed alone in an area I feel like I dont have any solid footing in. Most things I do feel like I have solid footing in, therefore I lead rather well and handle myself rather well - but if I dont have a plan یا any real guidance of something Ive seen before یا anything, it just throws me off پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Cos bois I still got severe anxiety thats just being mediated سے طرف کی medication پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
I see that being perfectly natural, Rikubun. Someone thinking otherwise would seem unusual to me. That applies to every person and the impressions they are giving. Especially if آپ have come to know them well !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Ugh. I honestly wish I was actually taught how to do taxis and bus crap cos now I have to figure that stuff out on my own and its a pain in the ass. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Also a note as to why I need to take my anxiety meds daily. Cause I missed it today (and probably also cause I missed it two days ago), it was causing my body to start reacting in an anxiety attack what with the inability to breathe and shit پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im alright cause my sister actually gives me مزید help than "Take cash money and figure it out" and cause Im aware the reaction my body was having was primarily due to the lack of medication and I just took my medication but yikes پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Apparently I bike at least 4 kilometers on a regular school دن so its a bit too convenient for Pokemon Go XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I might start playing Pokemon again. My schedule isnt as dense as I hoped it would be to make playing the DS مزید convenient but I still probably will. Maybe help my roommate complete the Pokedex گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
My roommate and sister dragged me back into Pokemon Go. My trainer code 1156 7110 6840 for anyone who wants to add me گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Im so forwardly in love with birds گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
AQUA IS OFFICIALLY A BOSS FIGHT IN KH3 گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Me: Yeah theres a lot of biking in Davis

Oldest Sister: I told آپ there was a lot of biking in college

Me: No آپ dont understand

Me: Davis is a whole new level

Me: Just google UC Davis Bike

Me: Just look out your window at Davis

Me: Davis is a bike گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Its kinda nice that the torturous longing to be able to hug and cuddle and be with my boyfriend has been replaced with an excitement to go ہوم and be with him in just a week of being here.

I really miss him and we can do so much when I get back XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I'm honestly just so lucky to have him. The distance honestly kinda makes me appreciate even the smallest things even more. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
But yeah Im not really the type of person who should have been out of therapy for over three months straight گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
آپ are going to be starting it again now that Summer is over. Right? پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
If I can work through Davis پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
TFW آپ are unsure whether آپ are just really bad at recognizing your own emotions یا really good at lying / convincing yourself that one emotion is the اگلے گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Cause lowkey had a bit of a breakdown over the thing mentioned below and I know my need to stay active is a hugeeee front and the boredom is a HUUUGEEE red herring to keep myself from actually having to feel / think about my feelings پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
The thing is, even after a bit of a crack in it, I still dont know what Im blocking out, what, یا why and for the time period that I was extremely distressed about boredom, I genuinely thought I was depressed cos I was bored cos thats a thing for me but like, I can bet آپ I was depressed for some other reason and I only started to feel it cause I wasnt busy and was distressed cos I was feeling depressed and was using the scapegoat of boredom so I could ignore my own issue پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
God Im bored گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im not even a week into college and Im already bored of it. >.> پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
It doesnt help my mind isnt in a "Have fun and relax" mode and thus dont feel comfortable / motivated doing anything fun which means I cant get into a game یا manga یا عملی حکمت یا anythign even if I forced myself to پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Im HONESTLY going to burn out so fast if Im like this for much longer یا if I cant relax on the weekend پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
That feeling when your shy introverted roommates have a larger will / want to make مزید دوستوں than آپ XD

I just am too lazy and dont have people Im interested in yet XD

Ive got invited to like... two یا three parties already XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Sorry if I dont talk too much to people I usually would XD Ive been busy and distracted to keep up with my normal online routine XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Shukuya شدہ تبصرہ…
No problem پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
Hey,as long as آپ still here that’s all it matters. پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
^ This. It is understandable, Rikubun. No need to even mention it !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Me: Imma take a bit of a nap 20 منٹ cause Im super tired and I never end up napping for مزید than a few minutes

*two hours later*

Me: FUCK ITS 4PM AND I MISSED دن ONE OF SCH- Oh wait. Huh. *talks to roommate for like two minutes* Imma just curl up for like five منٹ یا something

*five منٹ later*

Roommate: We should probably go eat soon since we have to leave in a bit

Me: Yeah sure around five

Roommate: It is five. آپ fell asleep an گھنٹہ پہلے گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
The بستر must be so comfy xD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Its alright XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
I was just super exhausted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
So this is gonna be a copy paste from what I texted people on messenger but college story time گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Also dude. Someones bike flipped and they flew off it cos a janitor bumped the back of their bike with their vehicle and she - the rider - totally skinned her knee really badly and was bleeding a lot پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
Karma has its very own pace and ways of rewarding. Glad things worked out for both of آپ !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
That was weird xD Hope it's just a beginners welcoming XD be محفوظ Riku<3 پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I honestly just feel happy and comfortable when I can really help the people around me that I care about. ITs one of my easier ways of دکھانا affection and all, and if people can come to me for help and I can help them, it just makes me feel respected and liked.

Maybe its a bit wrong, since its a dynamic that could get unhealthy, but in moderation I feel like its fine گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Shukuya شدہ تبصرہ…
I think you're doing great پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Update: Quickly getting my good biking legs back گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly if Im not on much its cause Im moving in and doing school prep and figuring life out at college and all and I just feel odd being on my computer much now XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Rihanna312 شدہ تبصرہ…
linkI`m just gonna leave this link here for when آپ get back on, in case آپ haven`t seen this yet ^_^ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Awww XD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Wow my whole dorm room is the " 5' 1(.5)" girls with dysfunctional families bringing trauma and bad pasts to UC Davis hoping for مزید luck and a fresh start here " گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
My roommate is a wonderful person and I love her XD We are gonna have a fun سال گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
^Since when (her) means boy? xD پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
^ Plus platonically love XD Also Im bi / ace af so gender doesnt matter for me پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Shukuya شدہ تبصرہ…
Sorry about that i didn't noticed!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
On a scale of one to ten, do آپ want to die?
On a scale of one to ten, do آپ want to die?
But if آپ want to die
آپ cant afford a funeral
So sadly I must say, آپ can not die گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Honestly its not that bad for me but feels man پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Shukuya شدہ تبصرہ…
Life is game, dying means quiting it and I never quit a game پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Me and my roommate are whining and complaining about medical shit and college shit and assholes who write their own textbooks every سال and make their students buy them گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
... well I was gonna make a Luka + Flugelhorn شبیہ but I cant لوڈ اپ it >.> گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
JetBlack__ شدہ تبصرہ…
Oh ! why? پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 شدہ تبصرہ…
Fanpop glitching پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
8theGreat شدہ تبصرہ…
I dig it پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Seriously though I just love my college band. So hyped for Monday Practice this Monday XD They make me feel loved and welcome. Its great not being the mom for the first time and just being the 'kid' of the band since آپ get that really nice older sibling feel and that "we have your back" feeling that I havent had in a while.

They are honestly wonderful people. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
That is wonderful to know !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
As for a college update, Im moving in tomorrow XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
TFW آپ spend all دن playing online games with your boyfriend since آپ both have the دن off and آپ still miss him XD Its honestly lowkey great to miss him like this. It both means Ive made great progress in mental health, that I really did love him, makes the smallest things feel like the largest, and honestly just makes me مزید fond.

It sucks but like... Ive never been so happy یا excited to play Fortnite یا Stardew یا anything before. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I realize that when food is now on my own money, I eat a lot less of it XD Its probably for the better tho cos like... I eat مزید than I should XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Honestly its quite a great thing that Im missing my boyfriend XD Its a huge improvement from what I used to be like with my mental health. گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
Annnnd now I need to figure out something to keep me busy and entertained the اگلے two days in a city I dont know, without a car, and with dead legs from band camp XD

Ill figure it out but for now Imma sit cos my legs are dead XD گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Riku114 کہا …
I AM BACK AND THE BAND IS GREAT.

#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO گیا کیا پوسٹ پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
TheLefteris24 شدہ تبصرہ…
WELCOME BACK! XD That is good to know !!!! پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک