Biker: Who are you?
Spike: Spike
Biker: You're kidding? Wow. I had a poodle named Spike..."
Spike: Do I look like a bloody poodle? (face changes to vampire)


Biker: So you're a vampire? I..I mean.. I'm sorry but.. I never met a vampire..."
Spike: You probably have and don't know it. One in Ten Americans is a vampire.
Biker: Really?
Spike: Maybe.



Buffy: How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park.

Spike: Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.

Buffy: Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only.

Spike: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again — you're registering as Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust.

Buffy: Stop it! This is our wedding and you're treating it like a big joke!

Spike: Oh, pouty! Look at that lip.. gonna get it.. gonna get it..

Out. For. A. Walk. *pause* Bitch. (counting off 5 words on his fingers)

Oh dear. If looks could stake

Spike: Ahhhh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Ah... God... I wish I was dead.

Spike: What's this? Sittin' around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Let's find her! She is the chosen one, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them, for justice, and for... the safety of puppies... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on

Spike: Can I have a cookie?
Buffy: No!
Spike: well I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
Buffy: You're a pig Spike.
Spike: Oh yeah? Well at least I didn't want "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance.
Buffy:...that was the spell.

hope she dies. I'm free if that b*&^h dies! I'd better help her out.


Andrew: I spy with my little eye something that begins with a T
Spike: Tapestry.
Andrew: That's good. How did you..
Spike: Tapestry's the only thing in this whole bloody room.


You Englishmen are always so... [pauses] Bloody hell! [Ticks off on his fingers] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!

Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe.

Camera pulls back to reveal Spike watching them from a rooftop above them.
Spike in high voice: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing? (low voice) No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. (Rachel steps closer to Angel, and Angel steps back warding her off with his hands) No, not the hair! Never the hair! (high voice) But there must be someway I can show my appreciation. (low voice) No, helping those in need's my job, - and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough! (high voice) I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so (low voice) Say no more. Evil's still afoot! And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair-gel that I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away!

Spike: (mimicking Xanya) "Xander don't you care about me."
Xander: "Shut up!"
Spike: "We never talk."
Xander: "Shut up!"
Spike: " Xaaannnder."
Xander: "Shut up!"

pfft... lol