The Golden Girls
The Golden Girls Golden Girls Quotes
DoloresFreeman posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 10:57AM
Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore. Rose: My mother always used to say: "The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana." Sophia: I'm not leaving now. It's just getting good. Dorothy: Shady Pines, Ma! Sophia: You're bluffing... Dorothy: [menacingly] The West Wing? Sophia: I'm right behind you. Blanche: You know what the worst part about getting older is? Dorothy: Your face, Rose's hands? Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. Rose: I just had a thought... Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche: Congratulations. Rose: Well, I'm off. Sophia: Totally. Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood? Sophia: Excuse me Rose, but I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves. Blanche: What do you think of my new dress? Is it me? Sophia: It's too tight, it's too short and shows too much cleavage for a woman your age. Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. It's you. [Sophia enters kitchen] Dorothy: You couldn't sleep either, huh? Sophia: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink. Rose: Can I ask a dumb question? Dorothy: Better than anyone I know. Blanche: This is strictly off the record but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am. Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years? Blanche: I treat my body like a temple. Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night. Stan: Hello Sophia, you're looking younger every day. Sophia: Hi Stan, and that's a beautiful toupee you're wearing. Great, now we're both liars. Rose: Now, I know no one wants to hear any of my stories right now... Dorothy: That's always a safe bet, Rose. Rose: ...but you need to hear about my cousin Ingmar. He was different. He used to do bird imitations. Blanche: Well, what's wrong with that? Rose: Well, let's just say you wouldn't want to park your car under their oak tree. Rose: Everybody likes me. Sophia: I don't! Rose: Oh, you just say that Sophia. Sophia: REPEATEDLY! Miles Webber: Rose, I've never met anyone quite like you. Sophia: Check the corn field on Hee-Haw. Rose: Belief can be powerful. I had a sty once, and every night I would close my eyes and think about it getting smaller and smaller until it went away! [Sophia leans on the fridge with her eyes closed] Dorothy: Ma, what's wrong? Sophia: Nothing. I'm just trying to make Rose go away. Rose: You... you... you rude person! Dorothy: Go easy on him, Rose. Dorothy: Ma, Rose isn't talking to me... Sophia: Enjoy it while it lasts, now good night. Sophia: Ow. Dorothy: What is it, Ma? Sophia: Pain. Dorothy: What kind of pain? Sophia: The kind that hurts. Sophia: Look, you didn't ask me for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway. Blanche: Sophia, I need you. Sophia: Blanche, you were strong and independent long before I got here. Rose: I need you too, Sophia. Sophia: Rose, you need the Wizard of Oz. Rose: Dr. Kagan? Hubba hubba zing zing, baby, he's got everything. Rose: [Rose is checking Sophia into the hospital] Name? Sophia: Zulu, Queen of the Dwarf People. Rose: Like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy. Sophia: If this sauce were a person, I'd get naked and make love to it. [Sophia is noisily eating Fritos. Dorothy gets very annoyed] Dorothy: MA, WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP THAT! Sophia: These are FRITOS, Dorothy. What do you want me to do, swallow them whole? Sophia: No offense, pussycat. Dorothy: None taken, you cankerous little prune! Dorothy: Now look here... You withered old Sicilian monkey! Rose: Lets face it, Blanche, you have Bette Davis eyes... and Freddy Kruger hands! (imdb.com) |
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