Excalibur
From the corridors, to the classrooms, to the لائبریری filled with کتابیں upon کتابیں of knowledge, wisdom, and مجموعی طور پر history of this great school.
One student makes his way through the labyrinth of novels, Arthur Kirkland (otherwise known as 'Iggy'). The British meister sports an olive-green tuxedo and appears before his fellow classmates in a military-like fashion.
His blond hair gleams in the sunlight as he passes from shadow to shadow, striding confidently along the shelves and casting his gaze from novel to novel with little interest.
"These کتابیں look so boring and aged... No wonder they have so much dust on them," he mutters to himself with his English dialect and rounds a corner.
The کتابیں hold no grandeur value in his eyes. He's about to leave when he spots one cream-colored book sitting alone on a table. "What's this?"
He strides over and picks it up, turning it over in his hands curiously and stroking the title.
"Excalibur... What an odd name."
Flipping the cover and a few pages open, his eyes settle on one passage.
"Everlasting fame and glory... What a magnificent weapon! Just look at the hilt...the blade...the craftsmanship..."
"Yes, it certainly sounds like a fine weapon," one, familiar voice comments.
Turning at the sound of the voice, the British student quickly closes the book, almost protectively.
A lone boy stands in a patch of sunlight cast from one of the windows. He has one eyebrow raised, although his face doesn't seem to be displaying any particular emotion. He wears a black and white tuxedo, and his black hair depicts three horizontal white stripes going across from the front of his head to the back. His name is Death the Kid, but he's known to his دوستوں as just 'Kid.' Arthur and Kid have never exactly been on the best of terms with one another.
Both married to fellow students, Kid and Iggy have been forced سے طرف کی their wives, Jordan and Emmy, to spend time with one another in order to grow accustomed and become friends. This hasn't worked out so well.
"That's the Holy Sword Excalibur you're reading about, right? Correct me if I'm wrong."
"Oh, no... Not you!" He scornfully replies. "Yes, I found this book on that میز, جدول right there."
"Hm, I was just looking for that book, but it wasn't on the shelf." Kid steps forward. "May I?"
Iggy looks to the side and sighs in annoyance, handing the book over without objection and muttering under his breath.
The Grim Reaper opens the book without hesitation, his yellow eyes darting back and forth as he scans the text eagerly.
"There's a map in that book," Iggy interrupts. "I think it's only fair that since I found the book first, I should be the one to check it out." He smirks, finding his defense to be quite verified.
Kid glowers and casts a weary glance at the blond. "Did آپ visit the لائبریری today specifically for this book?"
"Of course I did," Iggy snaps, clenching his fists and glaring.
He's had enough of Lord Death's son for today. "I'd like the book back now."
Arthur has been known to be tsundere at times, not دکھانا his kind nature right away and often being austere to those around him. "Well?"
"Here آپ go." Kid hands the book to Arthur, looking away in disappointment. "I'm sorry. I was just curious."
Iggy snatches it with enmity out of his hand and nods, tucking it under his arm. "I'm going to find the Holy Sword Excalibur, and I will be the most powerful meister in this whole blasted Academy!" Already seeing the future in the near distance, Arthur's eyes glint with the yearning for success in his mission.
Kid tilts his head, watching Arthur curiously. "Perhaps I can come with you."
Immediately, Arthur exerts his disapproval. "No way!" He grinds his teeth, irritated, and whisper-shouts defiantly. "I don't need nor want your company! I'd rather have America, یا even FRANCE, come with me than you! At least they don't pester me about something as stupid as symmetry."
"You annoy me, too, آپ know." Kid mentions with disdain. "But I have the right to go on this quest as much as آپ do. We might as well go together. Two heads are better than one, and in the end, only one of us can be chosen سے طرف کی the sword, so it wouldn't be a competition."
Arthur loosens his grip on the book, looking at the ground in thought and contemplating the option ambivalently.
"We'll help each other get there. What do آپ say?" Kid asks, still watching Arthur for any sign of submission.
"Stop bloody pushing me!" Arthur explodes, and a librarian gives Iggy a glare like thunder and tells him to "Shhh."
Readjusting his eruptive tone to a مزید cooperative one, he finally agrees with a sigh of resignation. "Very well. We'll go on this quest together, but I'll be the one walking out with the sword." He closes his eyes, expressing his snarky, dignified attitude in the most outrageous manner.
Kid smiles knowingly. "We'll see about that. Let's get going."
Kid begins to walk forward, but Iggy places a hand in front of him and walks ahead. "Pardon me, but I'll be leading this expedition."
"Whatever آپ say." Kid says, choosing not to play آگ کے, آگ with fire. This is going to be quite a journey.
. . .
The sun expands its beautiful, golden rays of مالٹا, نارنگی and yellow throughout the sky. Water can be heard surging through the landscape, making its way from higher to lower ground.
Light, yellow-colored shale and cliffs surround the wilderness, far away from Death City, but considerably and independently striking a difference on the earth, like a patch on a quilt of many patterns.
No sound, save the water and the echoing footsteps of the two meisters, are heard in this expanse of natural phenomena.
An عملی حکمت sweat drop suddenly appears اگلے to Iggy's head as he comments, "The sun is way too bright! I hate Nevada. Why did I even اقدام here in the first place? England is so much better than this wretched excuse of a desert."
"Your rants aren't going to make the hot weather go away. I'd stop complaining." The weather doesn't seem to be having any effect on Kid, and this only peaks Iggy's tantrum.
"I'm not complaining!" Iggy objects and then pauses. "Is that water up ahead?"
Kid looks around. "Yes, it looks like this is the place."
The atmosphere is aesthetically appealing to one such as Kid, but Iggy doesn't care nor mind for something as trivial as nature.
"We're supposed to get in that cave all the way up there? Well, this Excalibur fellow could have really left some steps یا something," he mutters, glaring upwards and shielding his eyes from the blaring sun.
A thunderous waterfall cascades from the mouth of the cave, causing a phantasmagoria of color to bring the rock face to life.
Kid smiles at Iggy, ready to see his reaction. "Well, see آپ up there." Without a secondary thought, Kid summons his flying skateboard, Beezlebub, and hops on.
Iggy's eyes go white with shock. "Hey! You're not leaving me! Get back here!"
Grabbing onto the back of Kid's skateboard, Iggy holds on for dear life as it takes off into the air.
"Wh-Whoa!" Kid waves his arms around, trying to keep the skateboard under control with the added weight.
"Don't آپ dare crash! I'll strangle آپ so hard that your grandchildren will be choking!"
The skateboard turns round and round, spiraling upwards into the sky and towards the cliff face.
"Watch out!!!" Iggy warns fearfully, seeing the cliff face growing closer and closer سے طرف کی the second.
Kid clenches his teeth, his eyes open with panic. Realizing that the weight on the back end is causing the skateboard to veer out of control, he leaps off the side and clings onto the other end of the flying juggernaut.
"What are آپ doing, آپ idiot?! We're going to die all because of yooouuu!"
"Shut up and help me steer this thing!"
Working together, they manage to maneuver the death-trap skateboard into the cave.
"AHHHHHHHHH!" they shout, crashing into the interior of the ماند, خلوت خانہ and falling into the pool of water below them with a splash.
Iggy groans and sits up, sitting in the pool and placing a hand to his forehead.
"Well," he says, closing his eyes. "I hope آپ know how much of a pain you--"
Kid sits, stands up, and brushes himself off frantically. "My pants! My shirt! They're wet! Some of my clothing is going to dry faster than the rest of it! This is all my fault! I deserve to die!" He cries, pounding the دیوار with his fist.
Iggy watches Kid's melancholy state as if he were watching a video of penguins dancing to "I'm Sexy And I Know It."
Standing up, his tsundere mentality gets the best of him. "Yes, it is all your fault! I should strangle آپ right here and now, آپ blathering idiot! Maybe if آپ didn't have your head in the land of symmetry constantly, you'd pay مزید attention! We could have been killed! That could have been the end of England! All because of your moronic actions! I could...I..."
Kid snaps out of his self-loathing momentarily to ask, "Where's the book?"
Arthur forgets his anger for a سیکنڈ and looks around. "I thought آپ had it!"
"We lost the book?!"
Out of the corner of their eyes, something twinkles. A fairy is gliding along through the cave, carrying the book! She turns and notices their attention with a squeak of fear. Toting the book as best as her flimsy arms allow, the fairy takes off in flight.
Iggy and Kid stare in bewilderment for a moment and then take off after the fleeting pixie.
"Get back here, آپ blasted fairy! That's my book!" Iggy threatens, running alongside Kid in pursuit.
The water splashes with every step they take, and the pixie grunts and scrunches her face up in evident discomfort, holding such a heavy object.
She hits a dead end and turns just in time to see Iggy flying through the air, arms extended.
"FAAAIIIRRRYYY!"
With a mighty splash, he lands in the water.
"I've got her! I've got her! I've--" He looks around. "I don't have her."
She takes off back down the way she came, and Kid turns around.
"Please come back!" Kid pleas. "We don't want to hurt you! We just want the book back!"
The fairy doesn't listen, though, and continues her escape.
"Damn..." Kid summons Beezlebub once again and takes off after the fairy. Gaining speed and ground in a blur of blue and green, Kid gradually catches up to the fairy.
Slitting his eyes in concentration, he holds out his extended arm, reaching for the book just a few inches away. It takes the work of a moment for the fairy to notice Kid's presence, dart sharply to the left, and leave Kid as he smashes into a stalagmite.
Smearing blood from his nose down the side of the stalagmite, Kid falls into the water once again, dazed and half-conscious.
"Symmetry!" His eyes spiral around like a سب, سب سے اوپر on wood, aimless and crazily wandering about the cave. "Eight! What a beautiful number! I see you, little eights! Don't run away from me! I love yooouuu!" He laughs insanely, arms outspread.
Iggy stomps up to Kid, rolls his eyes, and hauls him up, holding Kid سے طرف کی the shoulders.
"Snap out of it! We don't have time for this! That fairy is getting away!"
But Kid isn't listening; he's too busy ranting. Angrily, Iggy lets go of Kid and takes off after the fairy again.
Approaching a room-like vicinity, Iggy espies the fairy perched on a very high stalagmite.
"There آپ are... Get down from there! I'm warning you! I used to be a pirate!"
Nonplussed, the fairy gazes down at Iggy, clutching the book protectively.
"I say, is that the way آپ want it? Fine. Have it your way. You'll be sorry! Damn fairy..."
Closing his eyes, Arthur begins a chant.
"Santo Rita Meeta Meta, Ringo Jonah Tito Marlin, Jack Latoya Janet Michael, Dumbledora the Explora..."
Kid walks forward, holding the back of his hand to his head wearily.
"Santo Rita Meeta Meta, Ringo Jonah Tito Marlin, Jack Latoya Janet Michael, Dumbledora the Explora..."
"Um..." Kid watches, confused.
"Santo Rita Meeta Meta! Ringo Jonah Tito Marlin! Jack Latoya Janet Michael! Dumbledora the Explora!"
A gaping black hole appears in mid-air, and Kid holds onto a stalagmite in order to keep himself in place as the hole sucks in the fairy.
Iggy grabs the book and watches as the helpless fairy is being pulled into the black hole.
She screams in terror, and this snaps Kid out of his wary state.
"Hold on!" He leaps onto Beezlebub and grabs the fairy, flying out of reach of the gluttonous hole. "Arthur! Get rid of that thing!"
"Why did آپ rescue her? Damn you!" Arthur whispers a few chants and the black hole disappears as if it never was.
Kid lets go of the fairy; she hops onto his shoulder and hugs the side of his head, rubbing her face on his with affection.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say she has a little crush on you," Arthur remarks with mirth, finding the fairy's affection quite amusing.
"You tried to kill her." Kid ignores the fairy. "We're not here to kill fairies. We're here to find the Holy Sword Excalibur."
Iggy sighs and rolls his eyes. "Yes, perhaps آپ have a point." For once in a blue moon, Iggy agrees with the symmetry-loving Grim Reaper.
The fairy flutters off of Kid's shoulder and kicks Iggy in the nose.
"Ow!" He raises his hands menacingly. "I oughta..."
She flies out of his reach and then gesticulates with her arm, motioning them to follow her.
Kid raises an eyebrow. "Do آپ know where we can find the sword?"
The fairy's wings flicker in the luminescent light as she nods, flying off to دکھائیں them.
"It's about time!" Iggy says with exasperation. "Let's get this over with! I'm ready to be a hero. Emmy will love it."
"What a great benefactor this fairy turned out to be!" Kid bolsters.
Following the fairy through various tunnels and caves, they emerge to find a glorious cavern, filled with sunlight. And there, just beyond the moat of water, is the golden, infamous Holy Sword Excalibur. Its blade is stuck into the ground, waiting for the right hero to come and uphold its righteous legend to the sky. Nothing in the cavern was trite یا even banal.
"There it is... The Holy Sword!"
Walking up on the frog stools in the water, they make their way to the paved island in the center, stepping up and getting a better look at the infamous weapon.
"Just look at it. It's--"
"Step aside!" Iggy pushes Kid with his shoulder out of the way and walks forward. "I'm ready to claim my prize!"
Kid glares and is about to retaliate, but decides against it. It's better to keep peace rather than start a war with a fellow student.
Grabbing the haft of the weapon and grimacing with concentration, Iggy pulls upward...and the sword is uprooted from the ground!
Kid gapes, eyes open with shock. "It came out?"
Iggy bursts into a fit of laughter. "I knew it! This sword is mine! Everlasting fame and glory! It's all mine for the taking!" He strikes a pose with it. "Oh, dear... I sound like a pirate all over again."
Kid closes his mouth and assumes his stoic expression once more. "How about آپ let me try."
"What? What's the use?" Iggy chuckles. "It's already chosen me, Kid! There's nothing آپ can do!"
"I came all this way. I, at least, deserve a try."
Iggy shrugs, still smiling with over-flowing confidence. "Very well. آپ can try." He sticks the blade in the ground.
Kid stares at the sword, not so sure it's going to work based on what he just witnessed. Pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket, Kid wipes the handle clean. Cleanliness is a virtue in the eyes of this Grim Reaper.
"Hurry up!"
Kid grabs the weapon, stares a moment longer, and then uproots the sword as well!
This time, it's Iggy's turn to gape in astonishment. "It can't be!"
"How?"
Both of them find it hard to believe their eyes.
"Well, I pulled it out first! It's my sword!"
"Now, wait just a second!"
"It's only fair! Hand it over! It's not even symmetrical!"
"IT'S NOT?!"
"Welcome, visitors!"
They both pause.
Iggy narrows his eyes. "Did آپ say something?"
"FOOLS! It was I!"
"It's the sword," Kid says, still awe-struck, and lets go of the weapon. It floats into the air, gleaming in the sunlight.
"Welcome! It is I! Excalibur!"
With a mighty flash, bright as the sun itself, the sword transforms, and what stands before Kid and Iggy has them shocked beyond utter belief.
*This song should be playing in the background as آپ read*
link
A long-nosed, white creature with a long, baby-blue hat and baby-blue سب, سب سے اوپر is present. He's not human, and he's rather short - as short as a little girl; he carries a long, white cane with a hook on one end.
"Wh-What?" Iggy's anger flares. "This MUST be some kind of joke! You're the Holy Sword?!"
"What else could I be? Your mother?" Excalibur retorts. "I am the Holy Sword Excalibur! What are آپ children doing here?"
"We're here to apply for the job of being your meister," Kid answers.
"FOOLS!"
"You asked why we're here, and he just told you!" Iggy explodes.
"What is your پسندیدہ color?"
Iggy crosses his arms. "Green."
"And mine is black."
"FOOLS! What are آپ doing here?"
"We just told you! We're here to--"
"What did آپ eat for breakfast this morning?"
"What?"
"FOOLS!"
"He's not making any sense!" Iggy clenches his fists, the whites of his eyes expressing his growing anger.
"Do آپ know why I carry this cane?"
"Is it a fashion statement?" Kid questions.
"FOOL! Who would make a cane for fashion? A cane is used for much مزید important tasks. My legend dates back to the twelfth century, آپ know."
"If he calls us 'fools' one مزید time, I swear, that cane will be shoved right up his--"
"FOOLS!"
Iggy lunges forward, screaming his outrage. "Why, you!"
Kid holds Iggy back. "Stop! Don't let him get to you!"
"As I was saying, my legend dates back to the twelfth century. You'll learn all about it when آپ read the one-thousand provisions I've so generously provided for your reading needs." Excalibur pokes Iggy's nose with his cane. "Why are آپ blond? آپ have a funny accent."
"I'm from Britain, آپ dolt! It's not funny! If anything, آپ have the funny accent! So I wouldn't be saying anything if I were--"
"FOOL! I have no accent."
Iggy stops struggling, and Kid lets go.
"Stop calling us that! I'll break that lousy cane over your giant nose!"
"Just try it!" Excalibur retaliates. "I could make a جھاڑو with the hair of those eyebrows!"
"WHAT DID آپ JUST SAY?!"
"My legend dates back to the twelfth century. My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with cream at the cafe. My afternoons begin with a cup of hot چائے with two lumps of sugar. My schedule is not one to be tampered with. It's been in action since the twelfth century. What are your names?"
"I'm Death the Kid, and this is Arthur Kirkland."
"FOOLS! I already knew this."
"Why would آپ ask us, then?!" Iggy demands.
"If آپ have six quarters, five dimes, three nickles, and seven pennies, how much change do آپ have?"
"You'd have two dollars and twenty-two cents. What kind of a سوال is that?"
"DON'T EVER SAY THAT NUMBER EVER AGAIN! EIGHT! SAY EIGHT! NEVER SEVEN! NEVER SAY SEVEN! DO آپ HEAR ME?!" Kid completely loses his cool.
Iggy smiles to himself. Now I know how to get on his nerves.
Excalibur dances around. "Did آپ know dancing is a form of exercise? Yoga is even better. I used to teach a yoga class, آپ know. I was a worthy advocate of yoga. It was fairly مقبول back in the twelfth century. Yoga has been used to treat those with aching bodies and it has also helped heal internal suffering. I used to use a تکیا with my yoga stretches, but some prefer not to. FOOLS. Pillows are rather comfy. Not the rock-hard ones; the soft, feathery ones always will do. One should never chew and talk at the same time. Walk with a proper and straight gait. آپ should never slouch. If آپ hold a rose upside-down, it should never lose its petals. Did آپ know that there are only a few pandas left in existence? It's a shame. I never was one to care for pandas, though. I don't have time to care for trivial things, besides my morning, afternoon, and evening routines. Being from the twelfth century, I've learned to deal with a lot of issues. I understand the concepts of phasmology, but phasmology doesn't understand the concepts of me! This has always been a problem. Children should be مزید educated on my heroic legend. As a matter of fact, the one-thousand provisions should be made into a novel and distributed throughout all of Death City. My cane is made of the most sturdy material آپ can find. I traversed across the planet to find a suitable raw material to make it for myself. I battled lions and tigers and bears! Oh, my! Yes, that was quite an adventure. It payed off, though. My cane is the most sturdy cane. And did I mention that it's unbreakable? So much for your plan of breaking it over my nose. It would be a fairly difficult task--"
"QUIET! BE QUIET! SHUT UP! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!!!" Iggy screams until the caves echo with his tantrum.
"Disgusting..." Kid says under his breath with a face full of contempt.
"I'm getting out of here! I can't stand it!" Iggy walks out of the cave, leaving for his own sanity.
Kid soon follows after him, but Excalibur is calling, pleading, "Wait! Wait! We can cut a deal! I'll lower the one-thousand provisions down to eight-hundred."
"GO BOIL YOUR HEAD, آپ WANKER!!!"
"Holy Sword... There's nothing 'holy' about that useless excuse of a weapon," Kid says, glaring vehemently forward.
"I never want to see this bloody book again!" Iggy says, reaching the edge of the cave and kicking it out into the waterfall.
Kid blinks and looks at him apathetically. "You still have to return that book to the library."
Iggy facepalms. "God save the Queen."
Kid sighs and summons Beezlebub a third time. "All right. We're just going to have to make this--"
Iggy steps on the skateboard.
"...work. What do آپ think you're doing?"
He ignores his question. "How do آپ make it take off?"
"Like I'm going to tell آپ that," Kid says sarcastically.
"You'll tell me if آپ still want to be able to BREATHE! See how much Jordan loves آپ then! I swear... I'd be better off with America any day."
"Okay, I'm tired of your insults. Jordan would still love me, even if I was handicapped. Get off my skateboard."
"You'll have to make me get off, آپ confounded imbecile!"
This time, it was Iggy's turn to take off without warning. Kid gasps and grabs onto the back end.
Almost immediately, the skateboard veers out of control - up, down, left, right - everywhere at once.
"Arthur! I will personally write your death certificate! Land this thing NOW, آپ asymmetrical piece of filth!"
"Music to my ears. I could get used to this," Iggy remarks with a smirk (that smirk آپ love oh so much).
"Ahhh!" Kid leaps up and attacks Iggy; all the while, the skateboard is flying every which way.
"Get away from me!"
"You're going to make us crash!"
"I don't want to die! We're going to die!"
"Damn, damn, DAMN IT!"
With little control, the duo finally crashes into the shallow pool below, screaming with terror for all they're worth.
Groaning with pain, Kid holds his head up and kicks Iggy, still laying down. "This...is all...your fault." He falls onto his back again.
"I...beg...to differ...you...scoundrel..." Iggy kicks him back.
With one last, disgusted groan, and a burning hatred for each other, they both fall immediately unconscious.
