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posted by cajas
Chapter 23. THE TRUTH
I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long time—my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly, all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't اقدام fast enough… And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the مزید ghastly for their genteel civility. The dream was still strong—I could even remember the names. But the strongest, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the angel that was most clear.
It was hard to let him go and wake up. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the والٹ of dreams I refused to revisit. I struggled with it as my mind became مزید alert, focusing on reality. I couldn't remember what دن of the week it was, but I was sure Jacob یا school یا work یا something was waiting for me. I inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.
Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure.
I squeezed my eyes مزید tightly shut. I was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. I was so close to waking… any سیکنڈ now, and it would be gone.
But I realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for me. The stone arms I imagined wrapped around me were far too substantial. If I let this go any further, I'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, I wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion.
"Oh!" I gasped, and threw my fists over my eyes.
Well, clearly, I'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let my imagination get so out of hand.
Okay, so "let" was the wrong word. I'd forced it to get out of hand—pretty much stalked my hallucinations—and now my mind had snapped.
It took less than half a سیکنڈ for me to realize that, as long as I was truly insane now, I might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.
I opened my eyes again—and Edward was still there, his perfect face just inches away from mine.
"Did I frighten you?" His low voice was anxious. This was very good, as delusions went. The face, the voice, the scent, everything—it was so much better than drowning. The beautiful figment of my imagination watched my changing expressions, with alarm. His irises were pitch-black, with bruise-like shadows under them. This surprised me; my hallucinatory Edwards were usually better fed.
I blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure was real. Alice was part of my dream, and I wondered if she had really come back at all, یا if that was just the preamble. I thought she'd returned the دن I'd nearly drowned…
"Oh, crap" I croaked. My throat was thick with sleeping.
"What's wrong, Bella?"
I frowned at him unhappily. His face was even مزید anxious than before.
"I'm dead, right?" I moaned. "I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."
Edward frowned, too. "You're not dead."
"Then why am I not waking up?" I challenged, raising my eyebrows.
"You are awake, Bella."
I shook my head. "Sure, sure. That's what آپ want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…" I trailed off in horror at what I had done.
"I can see where آپ might confuse me with a nightmare." His short-lived smile was grim. "But I can't imagine what آپ could have done to wind up in hell. Did آپ commit many murders while I was away?"
I grimaced. "Obviously not. If I was in hell, آپ wouldn't be with me."
He sighed.
My head was getting clearer. My eyes flickered away from his face—unwillingly—for one second, to the dark, open window, and then back to him. I started to remember details… and I felt a faint, unfamiliar blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot.
"Did all of that really happen, then?" It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality. I couldn't لپیٹ, لفاف کریں my head around the concept.
"That depends." Edward's smile was still hard. "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes."
"How strange," I mused. "I really went to Italy. Did آپ know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"
He rolled his eyes. "Maybe آپ should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."
"I'm not tired anymore." It was all coming clear now. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"
"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours."
I stretched as he spoke. I was so stiff.
"Charlie?" I asked.
Edward frowned. "Sleeping. آپ should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he کہا I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window… But, still, the intent was clear."
"Charlie banned آپ from the house?" I asked, disbelief quickly melting into fury.
His eyes were sad. "Did آپ expect anything else?"
My eyes were mad. I was going to have a few words with my father—perhaps it would be a good time to remind him that I was over the legal age of adulthood. It didn't matter so much, of course, except in principle. All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition. I turned my thoughts to less painful avenues.
"What's the story?" I asked, genuinely curious, but also trying desperately to keep the conversation casual, to keep a firm grip on myself, so I wouldn't scare him away with the frantic, gnawing craving that was raging inside me.
"What do آپ mean?"
"What am I telling Charlie? What's my excuse for disappearing for… how long was I gone, anyway?" I tried to count the hours in my head.
"Just three days." His eyes tightened, but he smiled مزید naturally this time. "Actually, I was hoping آپ might have a good explanation. I've got nothing."
I groaned. "Fabulous."
"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something," he offered, trying to comfort me.
And I was comforted. Who cared what I had to deal with later? Every سیکنڈ that he was here—so close, his flawless face glowing in the dim light from the numbers on my alarm clock—was precious and not to be wasted.
"So," I began, picking the least important—though still vitally interesting—question to start with. I was safely delivered home, and he might decide to leave at any moment. I had to keep him talking. Besides, this temporary heaven wasn't entirely complete without the sound of his voice. "What have آپ been doing, up until three days ago?"
His face turned wary in an instant. "Nothing terribly exciting."
"Of course not," I mumbled.
"Why are آپ making that face?"
"Well…" I pursed my lips, considering. "If آپ were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing آپ would say. My imagination must be used up."
He sighed. "If I tell you, will آپ finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"
"Nightmare!" I repeated scornfully. He waited for my answer. "Maybe," I کہا after a سیکنڈ of thought.
"If آپ tell me."
"I was… hunting."
"Is that the best آپ can do?" I criticized. "That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake."
He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "I wasn't hunting fot food… I was actually trying my hand at… tracking. I'm not very good at it."
"What were آپ tracking?" I asked, intrigued.
"Nothing of consequence." His words didn't match his expression; he looked upset, uncomfortable.
"I don't understand."
He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the clock, was torn.
"I—" He took a deep breath. "I owe آپ an apology. No, of course I owe آپ much, much مزید than that. But آپ have to know,"—the words began to flow so fast, the way I remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that I really had to concentrate to catch them all—"that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was محفوظ for آپ here. So safe. I had no idea that
Victoria,"—his lips curled back when he کہا the name—"would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much مزید attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now—she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there.
"Not that there's any excuse for what I left آپ to face. When I heard what آپ told Alice—what she saw herself—when I realized that آپ had to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself—he shuddered and the gush of words halted for a short second. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel آپ محفوظ in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for—"
"Stop," I interrupted him. He stared at me with agonized eyes, and I tried to find the right words—the words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain. They were very hard words to say. I didn't know if I could get them out without breaking down. But I had to try to do it right. I didn't want to be a ذریعہ of guilt and anguish in his life. He should be happy, no matter what it cost me.
I'd really been hoping to put off this part of our last conversation. It was going to bring things to an end so much sooner.
Drawing on all my months of practice with trying to be normal for Charlie, I kept my face smooth.
"Edward," I said. His name burned my throat a little on the way out. I could feel the ghost of the hole, waiting to rip itself wide again as soon as he disappeared. I didn't quite see how I was going to survive it this time. "This has to stop now. آپ can't think about things that way. آپ can't let this… this guilt… rule your life. آپ can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just part of how life is for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus یا whatever it is اگلے time, آپ have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. آپ can't just go running off to Italy because آپ feel bad that آپ didn't save me. Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and not your fault. I know it's your… your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but آپ really can't let that make آپ go to such extremes! It's very irresponsible—think of Esme and Carlisle and—"
I was on the edge of losing it. I stopped to take a deep breath, hoping to calm myself. I had to set him free. I had to make sure this never happened again.
"Isabella Marie Swan," he whispered, the strangest expression crossing his face. He almost looked mad.
"Do آپ believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"
I could feel the blank incomprehension on my face. "Didn't you?"
"Feel guilty? Intensely so. مزید than آپ can comprehend."
"Then… what are آپ saying? I don't understand."
"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought آپ were dead," he said, voice soft, eyes fierce. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death"—he shuddered as he whispered the last word—"even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been مزید careful—I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy کہا Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?
"The odds…" he muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low I wasn't sure I beard it right. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again."
"But I still don't understand," I said. "That's my whole point. So what?"
"Excuse me?"
"So what if I was dead?"
He stared at me dubiously for a long moment before answering. "Don't آپ remember anything I told آپ before?"
"I remember everything that آپ told me." Including the words that had negated all the rest.
He brushed the tip of his cool finger against my lower lip. "Bella, آپ seem to be under a misapprehension." He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with half a smile on his beautiful face. It wasn't a happy smile. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where آپ don't exist."
"I am…" My head swam as I looked for the appropriate word. "Confused." That worked. I couldn't make sense of what he was saying.
He stared deep into my eyes with his sincere, earnest gaze. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be."
I froze, my muscles locking down as if for impact. The fault line in my chest rippled; the pain of it took my breath away.
He shook my shoulder, trying to loosen my rigid pose. "Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for آپ to believe me so quickly." He winced. "That was… excruciating."
I waited, still frozen.
"When we were in the forest, when I was telling آپ goodbye—"
I didn't allow myself to remember. I fought to keep myself in the present سیکنڈ only.
"You weren't going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince آپ that I didn't love آپ anymore, it would just take آپ that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if آپ thought I'd moved on, so would you."
"A clean break," I whispered through unmoving lips.
"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be اگلے to impossible—that آپ would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect آپ from what I an. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry. "But how could آپ believe me? After all the thousand times I've told آپ I love you, how could آپ let one word break your faith in me?"
I didn't answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response.
"I could see it in your eyes, that آپ honestly believed that I didn't want آپ anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were anu way that I could exist without needing you!"
I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible.
He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but enough that my teeth rattled a little.
"Bella," he sighed. "Really, what were آپ thinking!"
And so I started to cry. The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my cheeks.
"I knew it," I sobbed. "I knew I was dreaming."
"You're impossible," he said, and he laughed once—a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every سیکنڈ that I was away. When I told آپ that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."
I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he whispered, his face paler than his usual pale—I could see that even in the dim light. "Why can آپ believe the lie, but not the truth?"
"It never made sense for آپ to love me," I explained, my voice breaking twice. "I always knew that."
His eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened.
"I'll prove you're awake," he promised.
He caught my face securely between his iron hands, ignoring my struggles when I tried to turn my head away.
"Please don't," I whispered.
He stopped, his lips just half an inch from mine.
"Why not?" he demanded. His breath blew into my face, making my head whirl.
"When I wake up"—He opened his mouth to protest, so I revised—"okay, forget that one—when آپ leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too."
He pulled back an inch, to stare at my face.
"Yesterday, when I would touch you, آپ were so… hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt آپ too much? Because آپ have moved on, as I meant for آپ to? That would be… quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please—just tell me now whether یا not آپ can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered.
"What kind of an idiotic سوال is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
I stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about آپ will never change. Of course I love you—and there's nothing آپ can do about it!"
"That's all I needed to hear."
His mouth was on mine then, and I couldn't fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will crumbled into dust the سیکنڈ our lips met. This kiss was not quite as careful as others I remembered, which suited me just fine. If I was going to rip myself up further, I might as well get as much in trade as possible. So I kissed him back, my دل pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm while my breathing turned to panting and my fingers moved greedily to his face. I could feel his marble body against every line of mine, and I was so glad he hadn't listened to me—there was no pain in the world that would have justified missing this. His hands memorized my face, the same way mine were tracing his, and, in the brief سیکنڈ when his lips were free, he whispered my name. When I was starting to get dizzy, he pulled away, only to lay his ear against my heart. I lay there, dazed, waiting for my gasping to slow and quiet. "By the way," he کہا in a casual tone. "I'm not leaving you."
I didn't say anything, and he seemed to hear skepticism in my silence.
He lifted his face to lock my gaze in his. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you," he added مزید seriously.
"I only left آپ in the first place because I wanted آپ to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping آپ constantly on the edge of danger, taking آپ away from the world آپ belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought آپ would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only آپ could be مزید important than what I wanted… what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heaven for that! It seems آپ can't be
safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."
"Don't promise me anything," I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing… that would kill me. Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.
Anger glinted metallic in his black eyes. "You think I'm lying to آپ now?"
"No—not lying." I shook my head, trying to think it through coherently. To examine the hypothesis that
he did love me, while staying objective, clinical, so I wouldn't fall into the trap of hoping. "You could mean it… now. But what about tomorrow, when آپ think about all the reasons آپ left in the first place? یا اگلے month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"
He flinched.
I thought back over those last days of my life before he left me, tried to see them through the filter of what he was telling me now. From that perspective, imagining that he'd left me while loving me, left me for me, his brooding and cold silences took on a different meaning. "It isn't as if آپ hadn't thought the first decision through, is it?" I guessed. "You'll end up doing what آپ think is right."
"I'm not as strong as آپ give me credit for," he said. "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, یا even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged آپ to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."
I grimaced. "Be serious, please."
"Oh, I am," he insisted, glaring now. "Will آپ please try to hear what I'm telling you? Will آپ let me attempt to explain what آپ mean to me?"
He waited, studying my face as he spoke to make sure I was really listening.
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then آپ shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When آپ were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded سے طرف کی the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no مزید reason for anything."
I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.
"Your eyes will adjust," I mumbled.
"That's just the problem—they can't."
"What about your distractions?"
He laughed without a trace of humor. "Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the… the agony. My دل hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my دل was gone—like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."
"That's funny," I muttered.
He arched one perfect eyebrow. "Funny? "
"I meant strange—I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." I filled my lungs, luxuriating in the sensation. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."
He closed his eyes and laid his ear over my دل again. I let my cheek press against his hair, felt the texture of it on my skin, smelled the delicious scent of him.
"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" I asked, curious, and also needing to distract myself. I was very much in danger of hoping. I wouldn't be able to stop myself for long. My دل throbbed, singing in my chest.
"No." He sighed. "That was never a distraction. It was an obligation."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with… Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil—and really she came here." He groaned. "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears—"
"You were hunting Victoria?" I half-shrieked as soon as I could find my voice, shooting through two octaves.
Charlie's distant snores stuttered, and then picked up a regular rhythm again.
"Not well," Edward answered, studying my outraged expression with a confused look. "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air سے طرف کی breathing in and out for much longer."
"That is… out of the question," I managed to choke out. Insanity. Even if he had Emmett یا Jasper help him. Even if he had Emmett and Jasper help. It was worse than my other imaginings: Jacob Black standing across a small space from Victoria's vicious and feline figure. I couldn't برداشت, ریچھ to picture Edward there, even though he was so much مزید durable than my half-human best friend.
"It's too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after—"
I interrupted him again, trying to sound calm. "Didn't آپ just promise that آپ weren't going to leave?" I asked, fighting the words as I کہا them, nor letting them plant themselves in my heart. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"
He frowned. A snarl began to build low in his chest. "I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria"—the snarl became مزید pronounced—"is going to die. Soon."
"Let's not be hasty," I said, trying to hide my panic. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Victoria."
Edward's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "It's true. The werewolves are a problem."
I snorted. "I wasn't talking about Jacob. My problems are a lot worse that a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble."
Edward looked as if he were about to say something, and then thought better of it. His teeth clicked together, and he spoke through them. "Really?" he asked. "Then what would be your greatest problem?
That would make Victoria's returning for آپ seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?"
"How about the سیکنڈ greatest?" I hedged.
"All right," he agreed, suspicious.
I paused. I wasn't sure I could say the name. "There are others who are coming to look for me," I reminded him in a subdued whisper.
He sighed, but the reaction was not as strong as I would have imagined after his response to Victoria.
"The Volturi are only the سیکنڈ greatest?"
"You don't seem that upset about it," I noted.
"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, یا even me. They count years the way آپ count days. I wouldn't be surprised if آپ were thirty before آپ crossed their minds again," he added lightly.
Horror washed through me.
Thirty.
So his promises meant nothing, in the end. If I were going to turn thirty someday, then he couldn't be planning on staying long. The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize that I'd already begun to hope, without giving myself permission to do 5.0.
"You don't have to be afraid," he said, anxious as he watched the tears dew up again on the rims of my eyes. "I won't let them hurt you."
"While you're here." Not that I cared what happened to me when he left.
He took my face between his two stone hands, holding it tightly while his midnight eyes glared into mine with the gravitational force of a black hole. "I will never leave آپ again."
"But آپ کہا thirty," I whispered. The tears leaked over the edge. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right."
His eyes softened, while his mouth went hard. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. What choice have I?
I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul."
"Is this really…" I tried to keep my voice even, but this سوال was too hard. I remembered his face when Aro had almost begged him to consider making me immortal. The sick look there. Was this fixation with keeping me human really about my soul, یا was it because he wasn't sure that he wanted me around that long?
"Yes?" he asked, waiting for my question.
I asked a different one. Almost—but not quite—as hard.
"But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your grandmother?" My voice was pale with revulsion—I could see Gran's face again in the dream mirror.
His whole face was soft now. He brushed the tears from my cheek with his lips. "That doesn't mean
anything to me," he breathed against my skin. "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course…" He hesitated, flinching slightly. "If آپ outgrew me—if آپ wanted something more—I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if آپ wanted to leave me."
His eyes were liquid onyx and utterly sincere. He spoke as if he'd put endless amounts of thought into this asinine plan.
"You do realize that I'll die eventually, right?" I demanded.
He'd thought about this part, too. "I'll follow after as soon as I can."
"That is seriously…"I looked for the right word. "Sick."
"Bella, it's the only right way left—"
"Let's just back up for a minute," I said; feeling angry made it so much easier to be clear, decisive. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me tillI'm thirty"—I hissed the word—"do آپ really think they'll forget?"
"No," he answered slowly, shaking his head. "They won't forget. But…"
"But?"
He grinned while I stared at him warily. Maybe I wasn't the only crazy one.
"I have a few plans."
"And these plans," I said, my voice getting مزید acidic with each word. "These plans all center around me staying human."
My attitude hardened his expression. "Naturally." His tone was brusque, his divine face arrogant.
We glowered at each other for a long minute.
Then I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, I pushed his arms away so that I could sit up.
"Do آپ want me to leave?" he asked, and it made my دل flutter to see that this idea hurt him, though he tried not to دکھائیں it.
"No," I told him. "I'm leaving."
He watched me suspiciously as I climbed out of the بستر and fumbled around in the dark room, looking for my shoes.
"May I ask where آپ are going.'" he asked.
"I'm going to your house," I told him, still feeling around blindly.
He got up and came to my side. "Here are your shoes. How did آپ plan to get there?"
"My truck."
"That will probably wake Charlie," he offered as a deterrent.
I sighed. "I know. But honestly, I'll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much مزید trouble can I really getin?"
"None. He'll blame me, not you."
"If آپ have a better idea, I'm all ears."
"Stay here," he suggested, but his expression wasn't hopeful.
"No dice. But آپ go ahead and make yourself at home," I encouraged, surprised at how natural my
teasing sounded, and headed for the door.
He was there before me, blocking my way.
I frowned, and turned for the window. It wasn't really that far to the ground, and it was mostly گھاس beneath…
"Okay," he sighed. "I'll give آپ a ride."
I shrugged. "Either way. But آپ probably should be there, too."
"And why is that?"
"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views."
"My گیا پڑھا مرتبہ on which subject?" He asked through his teeth.
"This isn't just about آپ anymore. You're not the center of the universe, آپ know." My own personal universe was, of course, a different story. "If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."
"A say in what?" he asked, each word distinct.
"My mortality. I'm putting it to a vote."
!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!
Hello, guys. It's been a while, since I گیا کیا پوسٹ for the last time. I'm sorry. I had one of the worst sessions in the university. Now I'm free, so I think, I'll end this story soon.


I was hesitant for a moment, and then I covered her lips with mine with a passionate kiss. I moved my hands down her back and felt some cloth, covering her skin. I turned Bella to her back, never breaking the kiss and my hands with one اقدام tore that lacy thing on Bella.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
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posted by LexisFaith
~Chasing Cars~ [song my Snow Patrol]


Over Thanksgiving, Alice had convinced me to let her cut my hair. And surprisingly, I absolutly love it. I keep thinking about what Edward will think about it, then I remember me and Edward aren't going to happen. I have Mason to think about and his wife passed away only a سال ago.

Black Friday had been crazy. Alice got in a fight with some blonde over a giant پچھواڑے, گدا tv to go in her room. Alice won. Rose got the boots she had been dying for, and Emmett's tool set. I had been able to get Mason's new بستر set for his room. He has been hounding me about giving...
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posted by joe-edwardfan
“    the new beginning ”

As days passed it got worse. I couldn't take it anymore, we were growing apart, barely even talking.
Anything I talked about doing, Edward would disagree یا say its not safe.
Once, I was going to the toilet and Edward asked Alice to go with me!. To the toilet!
That led to a دن of me ignoring him. That taught him a lesson to shut his mouth and stop making decision for me…..well for about 24 hours. Then it starts again.
“Bells….your getting so boring! Talk a little…oh! I have a better idea lets play” Emmett grinned.
“Emmett, cant آپ see...
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Disclaimer: All Characters are owned سے طرف کی Stephenie Meyer however the storyline is mine and only mine. Genre: Drama & Romance
Pairings: Bella & Edward
Rating: Mature All Human Alternative Universe
Summary: Bella the successful CEO of a publishing company is on the look for a new assistant. When the nightmare of her high school, turns up. She's ready to cause him the same pain.


I walked in the blissful sunshine of L.A, the sun always made me happy, it's glisteningly yellow rays that glowed with warmth and positivity.
For me it felt like positivity anyway after being a successful CEO for,...
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posted by LexisFaith
I'M BACK!!! WOO HOO!!!
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Bella's POV

Last night I did something I hadn't doe since Edward had come ہوم a week ago. I cried myself to sleep. Edwards words were still taunting me. 'And I like Miss Elena.' I wanted to burst into tears all over again but there was a small knock on my door and I held my composer.

"Momma? Will آپ read this to me?" Alicen was holding up a folded peice of paper being held together سے طرف کی a سونا stick.

"Sure, Baby." I nodded and pushed myself up with my hands. She climbed on my بستر and sat اگلے to me, handing me her letter.

To:...
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If vampires—corpses that rise up to suck the blood of the living—sound biologically implausible to you, you’re not alone. They exist purely in legend, as virtually all scientists agree.

But for any vampire believers un­dissuaded سے طرف کی biological facts, a professor has come up with a sec­ond proof of their unreality, using math.

If vampires ever existed in the forms in which فلمیں and کتابیں portray them, they would have quickly wiped out humanity long ago, ac­cording to physics professor Cos­tas Efthimiou of the یونیورسٹی of Central Florida in Orlando, Fla.
Popular lore passed down through...
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posted by LexisFaith
Tanya is being played by/looks like Nina Dobrev. A) because I'm tired of ditzy blondes ruining things (i کہا ditzy blondes. Not all blondes are ditzy)
B)You will understand why in the اگلے chapter.
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Edward pov

The twins were four months now and I had to go back to work. I didn't want to get out of بستر because that would mean having to leave them all here. I sighed and reached over Bella and hit the snooze button on her alarm clock.

She sighed and snuggled into me when I laid back down. "Morning." She breathed.

I kissed her head. "Morning."

She spoke...
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posted by groovychicklisa
Chapter 7

E|POV

2 weeks. 2 god damned weeks! That’s how long it had been since I talked to her. Every time I went near her she bolted as far away from me as fast as she could. I remained in the same place I had since the night she had left. Every waking منٹ I would sit at the ڈیسک and gaze over at her window hoping to catch a glimpse of her. She never shut her curtains not fully at least not in the 16 years I had been best دوستوں with her for. About 15 منٹ later she opened her curtains and a large grin had spread across my face. Has she forgiven me I thought to my-self, part of me...
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After they left آپ closed the door and closed your eyes. آپ couldn't believe it. The wedding is a ماہ away and yet آپ can't wait. Your mind was racing on the thought of being Emmett's wife and then Sabrina your daughter. آپ happened to look up and see your family staring at آپ with worry written all over their faces.
You: What?
Emmett: Your glowing.
آپ looked at your hands and sure enough آپ were. آپ froze in shock and tried slapping the light off of you. But, it wouldn't leave.
Sabrina: Mommy's glowing.
Emmett: Yes she is.

*note from the author*
this is the end of this story. Tell me if u want me to write about justin bieber love stories یا one مزید emmett cullen love story?
posted by Summer_Leanne
Thank آپ so so much for reading, everyone, and ESPECIALLY for ALL your support! It's wonderful to know you're following my story. Love آپ all, and thanks again! <3
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Deadly Dreams
The two elated lovers walked back hand in hand to the Cullens’ ہوم with joy and happiness in their hearts, despite the consequences they could face in the future. As far as they were concerned, their love would be kept a secret from the Cullens, because Alice couldn’t see Summer with Jake in her visions and Edward couldn’t read Summer’s mind. All Jake had...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



NEW MOON - chapter 2 - STITCHES


Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table. I followed him out into the main room. Esme had come back; she was mopping the floor where I’d fallen - with straight bleach from the smell of it.
“Esme, let me do that.” I could feel that my face was bright red again.
“I’m already done.” She smiled up at me. “How do آپ feel?”
“I’m find,” I assured her. “Carlisle sews faster than any other doctor I’ve had.”
They both chuckled.
Alice and Edward came in the back door. Alice hurried to my side, and Edward...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY


We were pulling up to the house now. Bright light shined from every window on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of flowers - گلابی roses - lined the wide stairs up to the front doors.
I moaned.
Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. “This is a party,” he reminded me. “Try to be a good sport.”
“Sure,” I muttered.
He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.
“I have a question.”...
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posted by CarlislesLover
I'm sorry it's been a while since I گیا کیا پوسٹ this story.
XX



“I’ll go after them آپ guys stay here”

“Renee”

“Just stay here” Renee walked out the front door and went to the airport were Bella and Jacob had presumably gone. “So what do we do know?”

“I would look to see Bella’s future but of course she’s with Jacob so I can’t see”

“I hope she’s ok”

“We all hope she’s ok” Carlisle was looking around for something. “What are آپ looking for Carlisle?” Esme asked. “My wallet, I put it on the میز, جدول and now it’s gone”

“I bet the dog چرا لیا, چوری کی it”

“He better...
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My name is Edward Mason Juinor i am 18 and have no wife.My parents are constantly asking me to talk to this woman and this woman.They dont understand love.My dad Edward is the town lawer and is rich.All the girls in town fall all over me but i dont like any of them آپ should not have to changer yourself یا دکھائیں off to get a man to like آپ they should like آپ no matter what آپ are like.I decided today i will go to the book store and buy a new book.I went into the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ and mother was in there.
"Good morning mother i am off to the book store i will be ہوم later"i کہا and gave her a kiss...
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posted by wanderingk
 How I imagined Elina.
How I imagined Elina.
Renesmee, my cousin, was the jewel of the family. She was the only birth child, and the most beautiful at that. With her glorious auburn hair and chocolate-brown eyes, she was gorgeous. A baby face still, but still gorgeous. She had an amazing gift, and already had a lover, Jacob, who was amazing to her.

Me, on the other hand, was adopted سے طرف کی Rosalie and Emmett, and I never knew my parents. My mother was a human, but my father was a vampire. When I was born, my mother had died, and my father left me to die in the woods, where Carlisle found me. He then took me home, and Rosalie fell in love...
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posted by AnonymousXXX
I hope آپ enjoy! I been feeling down latly... تبصرہ and talk to me bout what آپ think of my chapters. I'd love to hear your thoughts.


As I woke up in بستر I replayed تصاویر of last night. As I did I realized I loved being with Ethan and that scared me مزید than anything. Seeing as it had only been a day. How do آپ love being around a person so quickly? How do آپ like someone so much in just one day? It was insane but true. So did that make me insane?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted سے طرف کی my sister. She came bursting through the door and jumped on my bed.
“Ok so about yesterday… Forgive...
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posted by twilight-7
“Kayla, look at this one!”
“I see it, Alice.”
“Isn’t it just gorgeous!” gushed my sister-in-law. She picked up a dress made of satin blue material and held it against me. I looked down at it, wishing I could go home. But my husband beside me, gently squeezed my hand, reminding me I would not be able to escape.
“Yes,” I smiled at Alice. “Very pretty.”
Alice couldn’t sense my lack of enthusiasm but Edward could. I knew he was trying to cheer me up but a shopping trip wasn’t the best way to do it. He sighed quietly.
“We’ll need to get آپ a size bigger,” Alice said,...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
I was soo bored, flicking through the channels was pointles i knew i diddnt want to watch tv anyway. the room was soo quiet, i diddnt like it.
edward had woken me up a little while پہلے explaining that his family was going out for about گھنٹہ and a bit for hunting,so i was ہوم alone with Tanna. i couldn't hear Tanna دکھائیں that she was awake, thank god.
i stood up and walked oout the door still wearing yesterdays clothes, now considering that im still human and i still have cravings like one, i went straight to the cupboard, and searched for the first thing that کہا PIG OUT! I also wanted to...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL


I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my بستر and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.
The clock on the TV کہا it was just after two in the morning. Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't...
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 Lilly Black...
Lilly Black...
I walked through the gates of Forks High school, i was shaking i was that nervous i looked around
and saw teenagers flocking through the car park, i kept my eyes down and headed towards a ancient building with a small welcoming sign that said: Welcome to Forks High School. I entered the old building and found a beautiful brunette lady sitting at a small cluttered desk, she looked at me and plastered on a smile.
“Hello dear how may i help you?” she کہا sweetly.
“Um I'm Lilly Black, I'm new here” i کہا quietly. She than turned away from me and started searching through a bunch of papers...
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