So, these past couple months, I've picked up a few things. My story in a nutshell: I sat behind my crush in class, didn't start liking him until the last ماہ یا so of school, didn't get too many chances to talk to him due to the teacher's way of running the class, and I spent those last few weeks desperately trying to befriend him.
Anyways, here are some things I've learned from the whole experience.
1. Don't EVER pass up an opportunity to talk to ANYONE you're sitting near in class (doesn't matter if it's high school, college, work, whatever), and don't EVER take a conversation for granted. آپ never know how desperate آپ might be later on to be دوستوں with them. This was probably my biggest mistake; the first time my guy and I talked, I played along, no real issues, but I didn't think much of it. He just seemed like another guy, and I always waited for him to talk to me, and rarely took initiative to start a conversation myself یا to carry it on. Just thinking of what could've been, that sense of regret of not taking مزید chances from the start really stings.
2. Don't be afraid! I know that saying may be overrated, but it's true. I used to be so intimidated سے طرف کی the thought of trying to talk to him, just as most girls are with their mega crushes, but seriously, you've gotta take the chance, trust me. If آپ get shot down, well, آپ haven't really lost anything, right? Better to regret things آپ did than regret things آپ didn't do.
3. Make eye contact. I know, scary, right? I used to always be super intimidated سے طرف کی it, but trust me, you'll look WAY مزید awkward if you're NOT making eye contact than if آپ are. This doesn't just apply to conversation; even walking سے طرف کی them in the hall یا if آپ see them somewhere outside of class. I used to not make eye contact with my crush when I walked right سے طرف کی him to my نشست every day. I feel like if I had done that from that start, that very simple gesture of looking at him and smiling, things would've been different. I would've دیا off a much مزید friendly vibe.
4. Stay focused talking about THEM, NOT about yourself. We all, as humans, have a tendency to talk about ourselves a lot; it's our پسندیدہ topic. However, it can bore people easily. Instead, try to keep asking سوالات about them and bouncing off that. But be careful not to make it an interrogation. :P
5. If the person if دوستوں with any of your friends, TALK TO YOUR دوستوں ABOUT IT. Once I revealed to our mutual دوستوں that I liked this guy, they helped me out so much to hang out with him and get to know him better. I wouldn't have even got half as far as I did if it weren't for them. If آپ find out where he works, grab a friend and casually go visit.
6. I thought this sounded pathetic at first, but it really helps: try thinking of a few topics to bring up beforehand, even if آپ have to write them down and review them a few times, just give it a shot. No one needs to know.
7. Now for آپ high schoolers, if you're planning on going to prom, یا homecoming, etc. and desperately want to go with your crush like I did, please, take my advice: DO IT. As long as they're single, just go up and ask them. This is one of my biggest regrets. My guy was single for a while, until he decided t go with one of his friends, and I had the chance to ask him, but my fear of rejection and my fear of losing hope to befriend him stopped me from taking the chance. Prom was still fun and all, but I had to keep looking back at him with his تاریخ all night and it was a real downer. آپ never know what might happen, so just do it, unless آپ are absolutely 100% positive that they'll say no. And hey, if they do turn آپ down, just smile and take it with dignity, so آپ still have a chance to at least be friends. If you're not sure if آپ want to go with them یا not, hey, I wasn't sure either, until I got there and saw him with his date, and my دوستوں with their dates. So just go for it.
8. Now, this is also very important. Even though it's crucial to take risks and try your best to talk to the person and all, it's also crucial to GIVE THEM THEIR SPACE. If they seem uninterested in the conversation you're trying to have, یا if they don't really try to carry it on, یا if آپ can just see it in their face, just stop right there and give them a break. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't like آپ یا anything, but everyone needs space. If they're giving آپ a signal, آپ need to respect that. I had to deal with this, and it's not fun, but it DOESN'T mean آپ should give up altogether. Just give them a دن یا two, and try again. I followed this motto: be friendly, not desperate.
9. If it's a situation like mine, where in class, یا even outside of class for that matter, they're always around their friends, and seem much مزید interested in talking to them than with you, just accept it and respect it. Doesn't mean they're neglecting you, but guys especially, with their bro friends... it can be kinda difficult to talk to your guy crush in that situation. Just try to interact with all of them, but don't try too hard. And on your part, always always ALWAYS be sure that آپ DON'T neglect your own دوستوں for your crush. I know that;s کہا a lot, but some things are much easier کہا than done. I used to kinda ditch my دوستوں a little سے طرف کی taking off from that class to the class I had with him, just for a tiny bit مزید time to possibly talk to him. Don't do it; doing things like that just isn't cool.
10. Lastly, have confidence and determination! It really shows if آپ have it یا lack it. Have a positive mindset; don't ever get your hopes up too high, otherwise you'll be that much مزید crushed if things don't go well. Instead, plan ahead for success یا failure, and be ready to accept either one. If it doesn't work out, it's okay. Just take chances, not too many, and try to have fun with it. آپ never know what awesome result could come out of one simple تبصرہ یا action.
Please note that I'm definitely no expert, not even close :P. But I have learned these things all from personal experience, some things came the easy way, some things the hard way. I'm still trying to apply these things into my own life. I'm not trying to preach یا lecture, but this is my advice that I have to offer. I hate how I didn't take certain chances while I still could, and I hate the thought of other people doing the same thing and feeling the regret that I feel. So, I guess that concludes my little ramble :P.
And thank آپ to those of آپ who gave me advice on my crush a little while back; آپ know who آپ are. :)
Anyways, here are some things I've learned from the whole experience.
1. Don't EVER pass up an opportunity to talk to ANYONE you're sitting near in class (doesn't matter if it's high school, college, work, whatever), and don't EVER take a conversation for granted. آپ never know how desperate آپ might be later on to be دوستوں with them. This was probably my biggest mistake; the first time my guy and I talked, I played along, no real issues, but I didn't think much of it. He just seemed like another guy, and I always waited for him to talk to me, and rarely took initiative to start a conversation myself یا to carry it on. Just thinking of what could've been, that sense of regret of not taking مزید chances from the start really stings.
2. Don't be afraid! I know that saying may be overrated, but it's true. I used to be so intimidated سے طرف کی the thought of trying to talk to him, just as most girls are with their mega crushes, but seriously, you've gotta take the chance, trust me. If آپ get shot down, well, آپ haven't really lost anything, right? Better to regret things آپ did than regret things آپ didn't do.
3. Make eye contact. I know, scary, right? I used to always be super intimidated سے طرف کی it, but trust me, you'll look WAY مزید awkward if you're NOT making eye contact than if آپ are. This doesn't just apply to conversation; even walking سے طرف کی them in the hall یا if آپ see them somewhere outside of class. I used to not make eye contact with my crush when I walked right سے طرف کی him to my نشست every day. I feel like if I had done that from that start, that very simple gesture of looking at him and smiling, things would've been different. I would've دیا off a much مزید friendly vibe.
4. Stay focused talking about THEM, NOT about yourself. We all, as humans, have a tendency to talk about ourselves a lot; it's our پسندیدہ topic. However, it can bore people easily. Instead, try to keep asking سوالات about them and bouncing off that. But be careful not to make it an interrogation. :P
5. If the person if دوستوں with any of your friends, TALK TO YOUR دوستوں ABOUT IT. Once I revealed to our mutual دوستوں that I liked this guy, they helped me out so much to hang out with him and get to know him better. I wouldn't have even got half as far as I did if it weren't for them. If آپ find out where he works, grab a friend and casually go visit.
6. I thought this sounded pathetic at first, but it really helps: try thinking of a few topics to bring up beforehand, even if آپ have to write them down and review them a few times, just give it a shot. No one needs to know.
7. Now for آپ high schoolers, if you're planning on going to prom, یا homecoming, etc. and desperately want to go with your crush like I did, please, take my advice: DO IT. As long as they're single, just go up and ask them. This is one of my biggest regrets. My guy was single for a while, until he decided t go with one of his friends, and I had the chance to ask him, but my fear of rejection and my fear of losing hope to befriend him stopped me from taking the chance. Prom was still fun and all, but I had to keep looking back at him with his تاریخ all night and it was a real downer. آپ never know what might happen, so just do it, unless آپ are absolutely 100% positive that they'll say no. And hey, if they do turn آپ down, just smile and take it with dignity, so آپ still have a chance to at least be friends. If you're not sure if آپ want to go with them یا not, hey, I wasn't sure either, until I got there and saw him with his date, and my دوستوں with their dates. So just go for it.
8. Now, this is also very important. Even though it's crucial to take risks and try your best to talk to the person and all, it's also crucial to GIVE THEM THEIR SPACE. If they seem uninterested in the conversation you're trying to have, یا if they don't really try to carry it on, یا if آپ can just see it in their face, just stop right there and give them a break. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't like آپ یا anything, but everyone needs space. If they're giving آپ a signal, آپ need to respect that. I had to deal with this, and it's not fun, but it DOESN'T mean آپ should give up altogether. Just give them a دن یا two, and try again. I followed this motto: be friendly, not desperate.
9. If it's a situation like mine, where in class, یا even outside of class for that matter, they're always around their friends, and seem much مزید interested in talking to them than with you, just accept it and respect it. Doesn't mean they're neglecting you, but guys especially, with their bro friends... it can be kinda difficult to talk to your guy crush in that situation. Just try to interact with all of them, but don't try too hard. And on your part, always always ALWAYS be sure that آپ DON'T neglect your own دوستوں for your crush. I know that;s کہا a lot, but some things are much easier کہا than done. I used to kinda ditch my دوستوں a little سے طرف کی taking off from that class to the class I had with him, just for a tiny bit مزید time to possibly talk to him. Don't do it; doing things like that just isn't cool.
10. Lastly, have confidence and determination! It really shows if آپ have it یا lack it. Have a positive mindset; don't ever get your hopes up too high, otherwise you'll be that much مزید crushed if things don't go well. Instead, plan ahead for success یا failure, and be ready to accept either one. If it doesn't work out, it's okay. Just take chances, not too many, and try to have fun with it. آپ never know what awesome result could come out of one simple تبصرہ یا action.
Please note that I'm definitely no expert, not even close :P. But I have learned these things all from personal experience, some things came the easy way, some things the hard way. I'm still trying to apply these things into my own life. I'm not trying to preach یا lecture, but this is my advice that I have to offer. I hate how I didn't take certain chances while I still could, and I hate the thought of other people doing the same thing and feeling the regret that I feel. So, I guess that concludes my little ramble :P.
And thank آپ to those of آپ who gave me advice on my crush a little while back; آپ know who آپ are. :)
