Can I get an opinion on this?

It's the opening to a پرستار fiction I'm rewriting and want to know what people think. This is a different approach then what I was originally going for so I'm conflicted xD Is it lame, flat, boring, does it make آپ want to keep reading? I need to know.

Here's the link: link
 Can I get an opinion on this?
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This سوال isn't asking about the picture. Please click the link it will take آپ to the opening of a story. Read and review pweez, tinkx ^-^
sesshyswind posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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Believe me I'd remove the pic if I could xD
sesshyswind posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
 sesshyswind posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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Inuyasha جوابات

kittykayley said:
go for it once i diden't go to my cosins party and i regrted so take a chance

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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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O_o? Um this was an answer to my سوال right? An opinion please. I made an effort with it before, now I want to make sure this version is any good. Please be مزید specific and answer the سوالات above. *You'll get cake :D*
sesshyswind posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
jessikaKALIKO said:
I think its great آپ should go for it but the face kinda looks like a girl...lol it looks a little girly...no offence! plus the face shows some emotion and he rarley shows emotion! he usually has a blank face the emotions he shows is consern, angry, and well thats about it... im sure theres مزید but i cant rly think of it right now.....so if u can change the face that would be good but the body looks great!! :) i hope this dosent offend u in any way! <3 and correct me if im wrong cuz im not an expert in inuyasha :) sry for my grammar and stuff!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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XD this سوال wasn't about the picture, I didn't draw that. It's just some image I picked up on Google lol. I was asking about the پرستار fiction in the link. the picture I just گیا کیا پوسٹ because I thought it looked cute and because I just like posting random pictures with my questions. If you'd like could آپ ready the opening to me پرستار fiction in the link? x}
sesshyswind posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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read*
sesshyswind posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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