Tom went to a nearby سٹول to grab a zip of water.
Crowd: Turn around!
Tom: *Looks at the ponies behind him*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Have I been ignoring your section?
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Well I'm sorry. I'll make a note of that in my rulebook of comedy. I usually don't care for following rules سے طرف کی the way.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Many of them just seem pointless, and vague. Like the social distance craze that didn't last very long last year. For a good reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: First off, what the fuck is so social about it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hi Jerry. Stay 6 feet away یا I'll مککا, عجیب الخلقت آپ in the eye!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And there's thousands of ponies that agree with me on this one. Speed limits.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The Germans know this. That's why on one of their highways called the Autobahn, there is no speed limit.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: A lot of rules in Monopoly piss me off as well.
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: One of my دوستوں got accused of cheating سے طرف کی robbing the bank, but he کہا he wanted to make it feel مزید like real life.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But there were many rules that didn't make sense when I was growing up as a little colt.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: We all had to go through this, unless you're that one naughty 9 سال old who چرا لیا, چوری کی this program from your parents, یا older sibling without their knowledge and are therefore watching this even though آپ shouldn't.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Have to keep everyone alert from time to time.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But all of us adults had to go through this procedure during our childhood.
Tom took another quick zip of water, then continued his joke.
Tom: Now not all of these rules were bad, like running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: That was one I always obeyed. What are آپ doing?! I'm not running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Mom didn't want me poking my eye out. My dad always کہا don't stick your head out of the window. He didn't want me getting decapitated while we drove around town in the Jeep.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: But many of the rules my parents came up with I thought were bad. The first one was, no singing at the table.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? Because I کہا so.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was the first sign of a bad rule. Because I کہا so. So what happened? One pilgrim hundreds of years پہلے ruined it for everyone because his voice constantly cracked?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: آپ can still sing while standing near the table. آپ just can't sit there.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sings* I'm standing سے طرف کی the table. Singing سے طرف کی the table. I'm not sitting, because I can't sing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Impersonates the dad* Sit down you!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was your middle name, you.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Tom آپ Foolery. Kinda has a nice ring to it. It would make مزید sense though if my last name was shortened to fool.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Then whenever I did something that angered my parents they would shout Tom آپ fool!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Sometimes if I did something they considered dangerous they always کہا the same thing over and over again. آپ could have broken your neck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was always the anticipated outcome, a broken neck. What if I jumped down the stairs, یا out of a window?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They never said, آپ could have broken your legs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It was always a broken neck. What if I was playing with the electrical outlets?
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: That was another stupid rule because your hooves are not small enough to fit inside the outlets. Therefore آپ don't need to worry about getting electrocuted.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But those parents. They always say, don't plug anything into the outlet!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Of course if آپ do break one of their rules, they'll also say go to your room! They make that sound like a bad thing, but that's where all your stuff is.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Go to your room! Thanks mom. I'm gonna play some Nintendo.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the one thing that sucks about being a child, آپ have many rules آپ need to follow, and nobody takes آپ seriously since you're smaller than them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But as آپ get older, and taller, آپ have مزید freedom, a couple of responsibilities, and the only downside to this is the higher risk of being thrown in jail if آپ do anything illegal.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But it gets even better when your age continues to increase, because آپ can start doing things that آپ weren't able to do after آپ passed the age of 5.
Crowd: Oh boy.
Tom: Ahhh.... I can finally shit my pants again.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Most of us don't even wear pants, which makes it even مزید fun for the others آپ encounter out in public.
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: And for those of آپ that complain about sleep, you'll be able to take مزید naps.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You'll get a solid 10 hours of pure bliss. Maybe even longer. Another thing آپ can start doing again is forgetting stuff.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: آپ won't have to remember a god damn thing ever again!
Crowd: *Cheering*
2 B Continued
Crowd: Turn around!
Tom: *Looks at the ponies behind him*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Have I been ignoring your section?
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Well I'm sorry. I'll make a note of that in my rulebook of comedy. I usually don't care for following rules سے طرف کی the way.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Many of them just seem pointless, and vague. Like the social distance craze that didn't last very long last year. For a good reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: First off, what the fuck is so social about it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hi Jerry. Stay 6 feet away یا I'll مککا, عجیب الخلقت آپ in the eye!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And there's thousands of ponies that agree with me on this one. Speed limits.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The Germans know this. That's why on one of their highways called the Autobahn, there is no speed limit.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: A lot of rules in Monopoly piss me off as well.
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: One of my دوستوں got accused of cheating سے طرف کی robbing the bank, but he کہا he wanted to make it feel مزید like real life.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But there were many rules that didn't make sense when I was growing up as a little colt.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: We all had to go through this, unless you're that one naughty 9 سال old who چرا لیا, چوری کی this program from your parents, یا older sibling without their knowledge and are therefore watching this even though آپ shouldn't.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Have to keep everyone alert from time to time.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But all of us adults had to go through this procedure during our childhood.
Tom took another quick zip of water, then continued his joke.
Tom: Now not all of these rules were bad, like running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: That was one I always obeyed. What are آپ doing?! I'm not running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Mom didn't want me poking my eye out. My dad always کہا don't stick your head out of the window. He didn't want me getting decapitated while we drove around town in the Jeep.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: But many of the rules my parents came up with I thought were bad. The first one was, no singing at the table.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? Because I کہا so.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was the first sign of a bad rule. Because I کہا so. So what happened? One pilgrim hundreds of years پہلے ruined it for everyone because his voice constantly cracked?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: آپ can still sing while standing near the table. آپ just can't sit there.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sings* I'm standing سے طرف کی the table. Singing سے طرف کی the table. I'm not sitting, because I can't sing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Impersonates the dad* Sit down you!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was your middle name, you.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Tom آپ Foolery. Kinda has a nice ring to it. It would make مزید sense though if my last name was shortened to fool.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Then whenever I did something that angered my parents they would shout Tom آپ fool!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Sometimes if I did something they considered dangerous they always کہا the same thing over and over again. آپ could have broken your neck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was always the anticipated outcome, a broken neck. What if I jumped down the stairs, یا out of a window?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They never said, آپ could have broken your legs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It was always a broken neck. What if I was playing with the electrical outlets?
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: That was another stupid rule because your hooves are not small enough to fit inside the outlets. Therefore آپ don't need to worry about getting electrocuted.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But those parents. They always say, don't plug anything into the outlet!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Of course if آپ do break one of their rules, they'll also say go to your room! They make that sound like a bad thing, but that's where all your stuff is.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Go to your room! Thanks mom. I'm gonna play some Nintendo.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the one thing that sucks about being a child, آپ have many rules آپ need to follow, and nobody takes آپ seriously since you're smaller than them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But as آپ get older, and taller, آپ have مزید freedom, a couple of responsibilities, and the only downside to this is the higher risk of being thrown in jail if آپ do anything illegal.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But it gets even better when your age continues to increase, because آپ can start doing things that آپ weren't able to do after آپ passed the age of 5.
Crowd: Oh boy.
Tom: Ahhh.... I can finally shit my pants again.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Most of us don't even wear pants, which makes it even مزید fun for the others آپ encounter out in public.
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: And for those of آپ that complain about sleep, you'll be able to take مزید naps.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You'll get a solid 10 hours of pure bliss. Maybe even longer. Another thing آپ can start doing again is forgetting stuff.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: آپ won't have to remember a god damn thing ever again!
Crowd: *Cheering*
2 B Continued